My 10 Yr Old Son Is Having Problems with His Friends

When my neighbor kids pull this on my daughter it's kinda evil but I get involved and make the mean kids jealous. I'll go outside and do something really fun with my daughter. We'll have a lemonade stand or just do something really cool and usually the kids come back and are like umm.. can I play and my daughter will either say yes or no and make them apologize.My daughter's only 5 so this has worked great. Or I think of somewhere really fun to go and we go to chuckie cheese or camp snoopy something to take her mind off of it and I try and keep her away from the mean kids for a few days let things calm down and usually in a few days they have all forgotten about their little fight or whatever and they're back playing. I don't know if this would work well with a 10yr.old. If you son didn't do anything wrong you could also put the mean kids on the spot the next time they come over. It can be very intimidating for someone's parent to point out your behavior and embarrassing and then they might think twice about it. If they're doing this to your son have him invite another friend over for a sleepover.

This is so tough. I remember going through the exact same thing right about this age. I wasn't a very assertive kid, either, so I just let those people walk all over me.

I'd say the best thing your son can do is just stop talking to them altogether. They obviously aren't his friends at all, or they wouldn't be saying these things to him. He needs to cut ties with them, or it's just going to get worse. He doesn't need this kind of hit to his self-esteem.

Maybe these other kids will eventually come around, but for right now they're being malicious and that's not good for your son, or you. Keep reminding him how much you love him, how great of a kid he is, and that making new friends is really tough, but maybe someone else is feeling this way too. I hope this gets resolved soon, it's sad how kids can be so cruel to each other.

This very same thing has been happening to my son since we moved to our current neighborhood 2 years ago. We are in a new development that is full of boys ranging from 6-16. There are 3 boys who I feel are the nice ones, but my son wants nothing to do with them. Instead, he gravitates towards the cool ones and has wanted to be a part of that group from day one. He was 7 when we moved here a few boys played with him until new boys moved in and then they bullied my son for two years. But, my son never gave up on them. If it got really bad, I told him he had to stay away and we just did a lot of things outside the neighborhood. We took week long breaks from these bullies. This seemed to work. This year, the tide turned. My son, over the summer, found a way to make them look up to him by building a dirt track for biking at the end of our road. We are fortunate enough to abut a big swath of woods. We also moved him to another elementary school in the district. So, between the track and not being with them on the bus, things have definitely improved. Boys seem to do this kind of friend flip flop more easily than girls. I wouldn't get too concerned or involved. Let him fight his fight. Point out the bad behavior. Be there as a listening ear when he's had a bad day, but always express hope for the next. So many boys lack good role models when it comes to what it means to be a friend. Let your son set the example. Good luck!

I think you are handling it right by telling him not to be so available to those "friends" I have an 11yr old boy and we have also went through this. Yoor post also caught my eye because we also live in Lakeville. If you ever want to chat, feel free to email me.

W.