My 1 1/2 Yr. Old Son Is a BUSY BOY!! HELP!!

Updated on June 26, 2008
N.J. asks from Dyer, IN
12 answers

Hi Moms. I'm needing advice on how to cope, handle and discipline my 1 1/2 year old son who is an absolute BUSY BOY!! I know many of you are or have dealt with this. My son has to play, touch, pull, push, and climb on EVERYTHING in sight! He LOVES to mess with things that kids shouldn't play with....the tv and all it's buttons, the computer and ALL it's parts, drawers, sink.....you name anything that is off limits and he's there! I can't even take him into the bathroom because he would have it turned upside down. OK...so I know he's curious as many kids are but how do I cope? I have to mention that my son DOES NOT listen when we tell him not to mess with things. I have tried time-outs over and over and over-he still will do whatever it is I tell him not to about 5 minutes later! This goes on all day long. I feel like I am constantly telling him "Don't touch!" "Stop!" "Leave that alone!" "Put that back!" Etc, etc. I feel like I can't just enjoy him without having to correct him every 5 seconds.
Another thing....he hardly plays with toys. I have tried to bring some toys out and play along with him and he's hardly interested. He sometimes will occupy himself when he's playing with his sister (4yrs. old) in the playroom but that doesn't last long. He wants to be playing with everything else! Oh....and I don't think he's hyper....at least I hope not. I pray I won't have to tell with ADHD later or something. I truly think he's just a busy boy who is active and curious. I have seen children with cases of ADHD and to me the few I have come in contact with seem to have to run everywhere, can't sit still and can hardly focus. I don't think my son is that way. Please, any advice on coping, handling and disciplining would be TRULY grateful!!! I'm becoming a little frustrate :(
Thanks.
NJ

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone for the help! I do indeed need to move some of my things and put them away for awhile-including the "high up" things that I didn't think he would be able to reach. Right now, he's playing with all of the DVD's in the entertainment center. So, I'll put those away, get some old DVD's we don't care about and put them in his reach. He will have a blast. There are still some things I just can't let him play with like the computer and t.v. but I will try to "redirect" him instead of telling him "no" and give him opportunities to explore. Thanks!!

Featured Answers

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

He sounds perfectly normal to me. As for the "not listening" - hello - he's one and a half! As tedious as it is, you have to watch him and redirect his behavior.

Child proof, child proof, child proof. Even if that means you have to box up things and put them away until he is older. I would suggest that he have his own drawer or cabinet in almost every room that is filled with things he can touch. Take a cabinet in the kitchen, fill it with old pots, tupperware and wooden spoons. He can play with that while you're cooking or washing up. He can't get into the other cabinets because they are unaccessable. Redirect him to his own cabinet. Bathroom? How about a plastic cup, toothbrush and wash cloth? Living room; old remote (batteries removed), an empty box and some old books.

And if it's nice out - go outside, even if that means the laundry, dishes and vacuuming isn't done. He's got energy - let him run it off outside.

Really, he won't be this way for long, it just seems like an eternity now.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Sounds completely normal to me! Think about it - your son is at a point where he can actually really begin to explore his own world, assert some independence, and experiment with his environment to learn how things work. To me, that's not an 'illness' or a 'disability'; I see it as a blessing that he's curious about every little thing and quite frankly, I think it is 100% normal! We see our son climbing on the couch then sliding off and we hold our breath, but we also realize that he is probably thinking "Wow, when I get on the couch I see my world from a new perspective! Whee my body feels different sensations when I am sliding from the couch cushions to my feet - that was cool, let me do it again!". We haven't childproofed the heck out of our place, but we do keep it safe so he is free to explore and experiment without hurting himself (because let's face it...our kids are going to fall on the floor, bump their head, get scrapes, despite our best intentions).

Whenever our son gets into an area or is doing something we don't want him to do, we have a new or interesting "toy" to distract him. If I take him in the bathroom, I give him a plastic cup, a towel, my hairbrush or comb - anything that is new and exciting to keep him from, say, climbing into the tub and breaking his face or playing with the toilet paper roll and making himself a mummy. You'd be surprised at how cool toddlers think the most mundane household items are. It's amazing how a wooden spoon and plastic bowl can keep a kid occupied for 10 minutes while I put together a meal! We kind of feel that the more we say "no", the more he becomes interested in the behavior he is demonstrating - sort of like it is now his forbidden fruit. We've reserved "no" for behaviors and actions that are most dangerous.

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E.P.

answers from Chicago on

I remember that exhausting time in my life, my daughter was 5 and listened and my son relished jumping from high heights, unlocking doors, disassembling things (that was at 2 years old!) He would turn the stroller upside-down just to play with the wheels. I wasn't sure how I was going to keep him alive until 3 years old. Yes, you can't help but question ADHD at that age but...now my son is 10 years old, busy, a good student but still in constant motion. You just have to childproof EVERYTHING and keep an eye on him. Try to distract him to do something else when he is heading into trouble. If you've said NO for the millionth time, try saying, "Hey.....Johhny, LET'S do this!" and do your best to distract. My son's distraction was ANYTHING with wheels! Anything that spins. I would always find little cars in his hand when he went to bed. It is very hard. My daughter was a great help too. Sometimes when I couldn't get through to him - she could. To this day, I think he thinks he has "two moms". Hang in there. It will get better. It was my skinniest time of my life too!

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C.P.

answers from Chicago on

Your son sounds just like ours was at that age. It does get easier, but in the meantime here are some suggestions: child proof every inch of your house so that you don't have to constantly correct his behavior. You cannot go around say "no" all day long. Save your "no's" for only when something is dangerous/will cause injury. (Best advice I ever got from a friend with 4 older boys). Child proofing is key. Put the TV up higher onto something that he cannot reach. Keep the bathroom door closed. You can even buy little hooks to hang on doors from the outside that you don't want him to enter... Invest in the good magnetic cabinet door locks because the others won't work (our son figured those out in days).
Also, your son is too young for time outs (at least according to what I've read). You can certainly start trying to redirect bad behavior though without the constant "no"...
Here's the best idea: invest heavily in Thomas the Train wooden railroad. These toys will keep you son entertained for HOURS on end for years to come! Best thing we ever started buying. Our son is 3 now and still plays all day long with his Thomas stuff. Take your child to the toy store and let him pick out what he wants to play with. Let him watch several PBS shows on TV (I was totally against TV at first, but it's been a lifesaver... especially now with a 2nd baby on the way).
Lastly, get this boy outside as much as you possibly can. Tire him out! Let him run around until he basically sits down on his own because he's that tired! Our son is the exact same way, and it's in no way ADHD or anything like that. Some boys have TONS of energy! It's completely normal and actually would you rather have a kid that just sits around all day and is completely inactive? probably not....
You'll get through this : )
We found that the "terrible twos" were nothing compared to the age you're at now....

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L.K.

answers from Chicago on

I have a 4yr. old daghter and 20 month old son who sounds just like yours. WE use his pack and play or playpen as we call it for his time outs. If we tell him no and he continues then he goes in the playpen. At first I felt like he was in there ALL THE TIME but eventually he began to learn and now as soon as we say playpen he stops. Obviously, he still has his moments but it has helped me not be as stressed because I have a plan for when he gets like that. Our next challenge will be when he leanrs how to climb out! Good luck

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S.O.

answers from Champaign on

I remember that stage, it's very frustrating. I decided that I didn't want to spend all my time saying "no" and cleaning up messes so I really baby proofed my homes (moved inbetween kids at that stage). Gates, locks, items up, items away...

Cribs and playpens also work temporarily for that age.

The problem is a 1 1/2 year old does not understand most of the "don't touch" and stay away stuff. I decided it wasn't worth it and I much prefer letting them play and run around and get into the things that are open.

If he doesn't enjoy toys as much, watch what he does enjoy. There's nothing wrong with letting him play with some plastic bowls and tupperware and spoons from the kitchen.

This is the age that I love parks and pools and walks. He does have a lot of energy and those are great ways to get it out.

Good luck.

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D.P.

answers from Chicago on

NJ,
My son is almost 16 months now and I am running in to exactly the same thing. I have found that the best thing is to set up things in the house for him to find on his own that are OK to play with (and make sure to lock up things he shouldn't play with). For example, I saved up a whole bunch of empty containers (huge cereal box, plastic jar, coffee can, margarine tubs, etc) and then "hide" them. When he finds them he thinks he's getting away with something but little does he know mama is smarter! With our TV buttons, they are pretty much impossible to childproof so we've been trying the time-out. It is sort of working -- he obviously understands that he shouldn't play with those buttons, but he still does at times. I'm trying to make sure he has a few actual toys with buttons to play with instead because it's the buttons that he really likes (not necessarily the TV). Keep in mind you're not alone! Good luck!!!

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K.H.

answers from Chicago on

My son, almost 2, is the same way. We just moved everything waaay up (I worked at our laptop set on a bookcase for months), put drawer locks everywhere, etc. They make covers for TV buttons too. My house looked very odd for about 9 months, but it was a lot less stressful for me than constantly running after him. We had to move our furniture so when he climbed he wouldn't get anywhere. He's settled down a lot now and listens much better so I've been putting things back and it seems to be working. He generally lost interest in the drawers and buttons as soon as they didn't do anything.

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M.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi NJ
I don't have any advice for you...I'm dealing with the same thing with my son who is 22 months. He doesn't listen either and time outs don't seem to be working. I find myself yelling and I don't want to be that kind of M.! So, hopefully someone out there has some great advice so that I don't lose my mind! thanks for posting this...

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A.H.

answers from Springfield on

My son (and nephew) were the same way at that age. My brother and I baby proofed the house sometime during my last trimester. As he grew there were changes that needed to be made, but nothing major. I put his DVDs where he could get to them, I gave him an old remote control that didn't work when he wanted the real thing. I had a cordless phone that no longer worked, so that was his to play with. Same with the CD player. It didn't work and was portable, so he played with that. No cords, no batteries in any of it, just in case! He didn't much care for toys at that age, either. He wanted the real thing that grown ups were "playing" with. As for drawers and such, my sister cleaned out the area under the sink at her house. She filled it with clean rags, clean empty cups, measuring cups, empty boxes, etc. Basically any kitchen supply that wasn't harmful, had a duplicate and the boys loved that. We each have an entertainment center and we did much the same with that. Anything that the boys didn't need to play with, we put where they couldn't reach it. Every other open spot and the drawers were filled with toys. They got their fill of opening and closing and pulling things out without getting intot trouble for it. They're closer to three now and they understand that the bottoms of the baker's racks are for their stuff. The stuff on top belongs to the mommy or mommy and daddy depending on whose house they're in. I'd suggest looking around your house and seeing what you can change to make it more fun for your little man to explore. Trust me, it is a lot easier to relax and enjoy their play when you know that they're doing this safely and with nothing that can harm them. Good luck!

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M.D.

answers from Peoria on

He sounds just like my son! As hard is it is especially with the first child, if he isn't hurting anything try to relax a little bit. I think alot of times kids sense our anxiety and it makes it worse. Childproof everything and just let him play! Of course redirect when needed. I was much more relaxed with my daughter and I don't know if that is why she is more easy going or if that is just her personality. Try to find a play group or a Tumbling Tots at your YMCA or similar class in your area. My kids had lots of fun and burned alot of energy, plus it gives you a chance to socialize with other parents.

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S.B.

answers from Chicago on

My son Erik who is 5 now started doing this around your sons age and he still does it! He does not play with his toys and if he does usually not in the right way! Mostly he uses them to stand on! We have childproofed everything and we did not have to do that at all with the girls! But there is a difference! My son has Autism! He can get through any chilproof anything! It is terrible and in nothing flat too! We have locks with keys on all our doors and even his room because he would get out of there at 3am and get in the shower climb out windows etc! We have to for his safety! It is absolutely terrifying! Now I have to wear all keys around my neck on a string because he will find them and open doors or hide them from us! And you know how windows have those little things that come out so your window will open just a little? Well in no time flat he figured that out and started climbing out the window and once did get all the way out too! Very frsterating let me tell you! So I understand completely how frusterating this is! If he is getting toys to stand on I get all his toys and put them in his room and lock his door! He is now trying and actually climbing the entertainment center and thi weekend I hsd him out in the back yard and he started climbing the fence! We even have a padlock on the gate when we are outside because he will get out and is so fast too and that is dangerous! We have had some dangerous situations wirh him! My M. started calling him baby Houdini since he was almoat 2 and the name fits! Good luck with it all and I know it is so frusterating! Believe me I know!
S. bailey CLD
Aurora www.tendermomentsdoula.com

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