Moving from Crib to Bed - San Clemente,CA

i went throught the same thing with my daughter when she was about 2yrs old. She drove me crazy. Unfortunately the only thing that finally worked was for me to get mad at her. I was laying in bed with her, i'd fall asleep and than she would get up 3 to 4 times in the middle of the night. finally i just started to use a stern voice with her, even told her she would get a spanking. Slowly, she got up less and less. Occasionally she still gets up and says she has to go potty or wants a drink (excuses) and i just tell her that mommy is getting upset and it's time for bed and that seems to be it. hang in there. She is testing you to see how much she can get away with.

C.,
Why don't you try taking the side off of the crib and putting up one of those bed rails, to prevent her from falling out? Then you can make a HUGE deal out of it being an "almost big-girl bed." She can get use to getting in and out on her own, and be proud of her new step, while still having the comfort of the "CRIB." After a month or so, she'll be use to the big bed concept, and you can offer her a "Big-Girl Bed." Make it a huge deal, like she is getting to choose whether or not she wants it, and involve her in choosing sheets when she gets in a big girl bed. You can also tell her that the first night that she goes to sleep in her big girl bed by herself, and stays there all night, that the big girl bed beetle (or whatever) will come and bring her a congratulations gift. You can have the gift waiting for her when she wakes up. You can give her a gift, maybe a special doll or animal that can ONLY sleep with her in her big girl bed, and only with her. (leave her a note with instructions from the big girl bed beetle) Try it. Good luck!!!

My two are also close in age...about 18 months apart and we had the same problem and then my mother-in-law (mother of 5 with 12 grandchildren - so has a little experience) came over and brought our son a book called the "Sleep Fairy" and read it to him...it talks about a fairy who comes in the night and puts a surprise under your pillow...but you have to stay in your bed all night...we put stickers under there because they were easy to slip under the pillow...it worked starting the first night and we read the book every night for about a week and it was wonderful! What area of SOCAL are you in? I have a few mom's groups Im in and it is wonderful...I dont have the book right now because I lent it out to someone else with the problem...but, you can get it on Amazon. Hope it helps!

Hi C.,

What worked for me is...

I took one side off the crib and turned it into a daybed. I use to let my son help me change the sheets on his bed. This way he knew what his matress looked like. Then I took off the other side of the bed, leaving a tall headboard and footboard. Then I took his matress and put it on his big bed and completely took away the crib. He knew it was his matress so he had no problem sleeping on it on top of the twin bed. He actually thought it was kind of fun. Then after a few days I took him shopping and let him pick out new sheets for the "big bed". He helped me put the sheets on. Then I went to put the crib mattress back on top and he told me "no". He was so excited about using his new sheets he didnt want the crib mattress anymore. It took about a month total to get him in to the twin bed. Good luck.

We are having the same issue with our son. our problem is that he has a 6 year old sister and a 3 year old brother who have all learned that before bed, one goes to the door to request one more thing (thanks to my daughter). It's very frustrating and we've done everything we can think of to stop them. The older two have gotten it, but unfortunately, they taught Jackson to do it. We have to bring him back to bed a few times before he stays there. But, he's not alone in the room and he gets 4 people telling him to get into his bed. My husband is a big guy and can be pretty scary, so when it gets to be the 3rd or 4th time he's gotten up, my husband will raise his voice and tell him to stay in bed. Sometimes Jackson laughs at him and sometimes he cries...but usually stays in bed. It may just take some persistance. When she gets up just hold her hand and put her back in bed. Give her no attention at all (not upset, not nice...no words at all)...basically ignore her while you lead her back to bed. It may take a week, but it might work. I read that somewhere about kids who get up during the night. It worked for me when getting them back to their beds at night...it may work for this. If you are boring, she may lose the desire to be with you. :)

Have you tryed taking the side off of her crib and letting her sleep in it like a toddler bed? Then if she gets up don't talk to her don't even make too much eye contact and put her right back in her bed. THat is what I did with my son before I gave him a big boy bed. After a few long nights he got the message and stayed in bed. THen we took him to the store with us and we let him help pick out his new bed spread for his big boy bed, and had everyone he knew call and tell them how exciting a big boy bed is and since he was used to staying in his crib with the side off he got that it was the same. He still likes for me to lay down with him and cuddle after we turn out the lights, but he stays in bed now after it's time for me to leave. Good luck. ~V.

Dear C.,

The text books say that children need to nap until they are way past two years old. Your daughter may just be over tired, and if you give her a rest between 12:30 and 1:30 or 2:00 she will stay down. I know that sounds counter productive. I know that the twos do not like to nap anymore, and you can just call it a quiet play time, on the bed on in a cozy chair with favorite dolls and a good video on. My great grand daughter, who is the love of my life, has not liked naps since she was 2 and we had to develop some way for us all to enjoy our days. She tried to stay up at night too, but now after a lot of time, she is willing to have a rest time with her favorite dolls and sits cozily in a favorite blanket made by a favorite auntie and watches Animal Planet. ....and she goes to bed easily at night.

You really have a wonderful routine for bed time with her, it will work eventually.
Good Luck, C. N.

P.S. I am not one of those people who think that it is evil to have the children watch videos. I am almost 76 years old and I love my tv. I learn new things every day and it enriches my life. I wish that tv was in our lives when I was young, all we had was a small radio on top of the buffet in the dining room. I did learn some cute old time songs, and a bit of 'culture', but now like is available today.

I did the trick from that silly nanny show on tv...it takes 2-3 nights, but worked for me. Start by putting her in bed and sitting in a chair in the room with her until she falls asleep (don't lay in bed with her b/c as soon as she wakes and you're not there, she'll get up). Start with the chair close to the bed and sit there quietly (don't talk to her or respond to her at all). If she gets up just simply put her back in bed without any verbal direction. Then the next night, move the chair closer to the door and the next night, just put her in bed then leave the room. If she gets up, put her back in bad (as many times as it takes) but don't talk to her at all. Just put her back in bed without any response. It took about 3-4 nights of this with my son and no problems since (except for the ocassional middle of the night wake ups).

Not exactly 4 months... If you'll remember, they can sleep just about anywhere! (swing, bouncer car seat, your bed, in your lap, in the rocker...)

The newborn will do fine in a bassinet until they can sit up, so if you have a bassinet (or can get a hand-me-down) then you've just bought yourself a few more months do allow your daughter to adjust.

Is your daughter trying to climb back into her crib? can you can move it into another room (like your bedroom? its going to be a while before the newborn is sleeping through the night anyway, so you might as well have him nearby!)

I just currently made the switch with my daughter. She was 21 months. I put the toddler bed in her room with her crib. I started with naps on it. Didn't go well but I would get her to have calm time on the bed with a movie. One night I told her it was time for bed. She climbed onto her big girl bed. She didn't end up staying there but I noticed she was willing to try.

She has been sleeping in it since Feb 16th every night. I never went back to the crib...not for naps or anything. I just took down the bed last weekend and now it's Toddler bed all the way.

My secret..we stay with her until she is fully asleep. At first it was like 4 hours...slowly 3 hours, then 2 and now it's only an hour or less. My husband or I will lay or sit next to her bed with our hand on her to let her know we are there. If she thinks we are going to sneak away, she will open her eyes and sit up so the trick is to stay there until she's out. You develop trust. Sometimes I will just sit there not moving or making eye contact with her until she's out. This works too.

Tough it out with staying in the room with her. Peaceful, trust, calm, and no stimulation. Key words to say to yourself as you're about to lose your mind.

Hey C.,
Well, sorry I don't have advice for you because I have not gone through that yet but I read about you. Where in So cal do you live because I am here also and if we're close enough we can hang out? I love hanging out with other moms too!

B.

I haven't read all the other responses, but if you really want to get her out of the crib, take down the crib and put it away for now. Talk to her over the next week that "this weekend Mommy and Daddy are going to put away the baby crib until we have a baby that needs it. You're a big girl now, and big girls sleep in beds." Put the crib mattress under her "big girl" bed and pull it out for her to sleep on the floor if that makes her more comfortable than her big bed right now. Crib mattresses are relatively cheap, so even if it takes her another year to give that part up, so what. When you put the crib back together for your son you can go buy a new one. Just be sure that you put her in the bed you want her in first, but don’t let it become the routine that she starts in one bed, then moves to the other. If it becomes a pattern for her to change her mind, just start her on the floor each night and tell her “How soft this big girl bed is. Mommy really likes to lay down right here.” Eventually she WILL choose the bed you want her to. Just let her out grow the baby bed on her own. If she feels like you are taking it away to give the baby, she may start to resent him.
Also, when you put your son in the crib, be sure the bedding does not look like when it was her bed. And, if possible, don’t put it in her room. If she see, and identifies, that it’s hers, she may revert back to wanting it, which will make bedtime miserable for all.
Hope this was helpful! -J

hi C.- I had to deal with this issue with my first as well. He was a little younger but what we did is we put his bed on the floor( a twin size) and then put a super xl gate around it. That way it was more like a really big crib. This worked well because he couldn't get out and with the mattress on the floor, the gate was high enough so he couldn't easily climb over. We did this till he was about 2 1/2-3 and now he is in a reg bed with the rail.

Maybe you can try to lay down on the floor next to her bed with sleepy music on then the next night put the sleepy music on and lay in the middle of the room then each night lay closer and closer to the door so this way she knows you are there but you are not right there next to her and each night you are getting closer and closer to the door to show her its ok to be by herself in her room and in her new bed. When my son was in a crib he would go to bed on his own. I would pray with him and read him a book then put him in his crib with music on and he would go right to sleep but once he was sleeping in a regular bed and knowing that he can get up on his own he would run into our room and give us a hard time every time we told him to go to bed so we had to change the way we were getting him ready for bed. Now he gets to pick out books to read we count and pray then he lays on his bed and I lay on the floor and I keep inching closer and closer to the door every night. (Sometimes he would sleep on the floor too which was fine and I would just put him in his bed a couple hours after he fell asleep. He wanted to sleep on the floor because I did and I didn't make a big deal out of it I just let him.) This way they know you are there but they are getting use to being in their new bed and getting use to knowing that they need to stay in there bed and you are there to support them. Giving them positive support not negative support by getting upset and spanking doesn't work because they will continue to act out to get the attention even if its negative attention because they don't want to go to sleep and trying to figure out how much they can get away with. I hope this helps. It took us about a couple of weeks to get him use to being in his new bed so it does take awhile. Good Luck with everything.

I dont know if you watch suppernanny or nanny 911, but they always sugest taking the kid straight back to bed, no speaking and no eye contact. It took about a week and now they stay in bed on most nights. (depends on the nap). Another thing is once the baby is born she may just take on the big sister role, and want to be a big girl. Try laying with her until she is completely asleep, or enough that you can move. I use to lay with my daughter and when she was almost sleeping, (eyes closed) i would get up and if she looked at me said i was going to the bathroom and then by the time i got back she was out. This way she will see you leave so if she wakes in the night she knows you are not right there. Gradually make the time you leave longer and longer.
I just had my 3 in Jan and my daughter 4 took on the big sister role and my son 2 decided to be a baby again, which he got over but now acts out in other ways. I think the girls tend to be more motherly. Just remeber she will need some special mommy time when the baby is not around, and even if you get the bed thing down she may change with the baby.
Good luck

You've gotten a lot of good suggestions about making a transition from crib to bed... but one factor that's getting overlooked is that your daughter is anticipating one of the biggest change that any child can make -- from only child to older child. And at 2 years old, many children resist giving up their place as the baby. So giving up her secure crib at this time is really difficult. It's essentially asking her to give up her night time security when something else earthshaking is underway.

And while some people will tell you "oh... they don't know. They're too little," that's baloney. She knows! She may not be able to tell you, or put it in words. But she at the very least senses that something huge is afoot.

So what I would say is ... go ahead and try the suggestions you got about transitioning her. If they work, great! But if they don't, just let it go for now. In reality a newborn doesn't like a crib anyway. They like something small and cozy like a bassinet. And they DON'T make a fuss when you transition them later, to a crib. And that won't be until at least 3 months old. By that time, your daughter will most likely be more ready emotionally to move out of her crib. October may not seem far away to an adult... but for a two year old.. that feels like half a lifetime.

If you can't find a bassinet (relative or neighbor with a used one, etc.) you might think "port-o-crib" too. These are essentially the small playpen/crib that you could keep right next to your bed... making it easier to handle those many middle of the night feedings. Try looking on Craig's List for either this or a bassinet.

Well I would put her down put her music on and walk out of the room and close the door. If she does get up,put her back in but do not talk to her just put her back in and walk away. I hope that helps.

This can be so frustrating. With my son we went through the same thing. Have you tried a baby gate or closing her door? The baby gate worked for my daugher and she didn't even try getting out of the bed and with my son we had to close the door. We spanked and some nights it seemed endless, but with the door closed she at least won't have the option to see what's going on outside her room.
Then you can open her door once you know she's alseep.
Hope this helps, good luck!

We have had the same exact problem with my fiances' two year old. We now put a small gate up at night and keep checking on him till he finally goes to sleep. He gets up and gets toys or will play a bit sometimes but that way he can't keep coming out but he still knows were right there and can hear what is going on in the rest of the house. You may just want to keep her in the crib for a little while longer or get a playpen or something temporailly. With ours, he sometimes will get up if he is not asleep yet and when I put our 10 month old down he will go over and wake him up. So we have to make sure the two year old is asleep before we put the baby down. Just try different things and something will eventually work. She may not be ready yet though. Good luck