Moving 21 Month Old to Bed - Has Sibling on the Way

Updated on April 28, 2009
J.J. asks from Apex, NC
12 answers

We are happily awaiting the arrival of our second child but that means moving our son from the crib to a bed. I have no idea what to do. He sleeps great! Once asleep, he sleeps through the night (11 hours) but we fear with the ability to move freely, he'll be in our room anytime he wants plus just worried he will be upset with the transition - how do we handle it?

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So What Happened?

Hi everyone! Thank you for the great advice! We moved our son to his new bed this weekend and there was absolutely no problems! We had been sitting on his new bed every night for a week reading his bedtime stories so on Saturday night, we told him that now he was going to sleep on his new bed. He didn't even seem to notice. We shut the door and didn't hear a peep (or a thud!) from him all night! He has made the transition for both nap and nighttime sleeping quite well. He doesn't even get out of the bed when he wakes up, just starts talking to himself or calls for one of us when he is ready for breakfast - can't believe it! Wonder if this means that baby #2 is going to be the exact opposite :)

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E.F.

answers from Louisville on

My children are 22 months apart. We got two cribs. You can find cheap or free cribs on Craigslist or Cheapcycle. My son tried a toddler bed but wouldn't sleep in it until he was over 2.5 years old. It was a waste of effort. The second crib was great. Cribs are great until nighttime potty training is almost complete.

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J.M.

answers from Greensboro on

We were very nervous about that move the first time too. We have four guys now. The trick for us was to make the move before the new one comes so that the older one did not feel displaced. Talk up the big boy bed so that he feel promoted. We also used a gate at his bedroom door for a while to insure he did not roam the house. I only used the gate with the first one.

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M.P.

answers from Raleigh on

My girls are 18 months apart, and we were in the same boat. Before the new baby came, we put a toddler bed in our older daughter's room (they were going to eventually share this room). We hyped it up and talked all the time about what a big girl she would be when she slept in it, and how the new baby needed to sleep in the crib because that is where babies sleep, and big girls sleep in beds. She got curious about the toddler bed and wanted to take naps in it so we let her, and would give her a sticker on a chart if she stayed in the bed the whole nap. After 5 stickers she got to pick out a new book at the library. After about 2 months of this, she was ready to try sleeping in the bed at night. Meanwhile, new sister arrived and we put her in a bassinet in our room until the older one was ready to give up her crib on her own timeline. It took about another month of encouragement and stickers. As for staying in the bed, we did have a few weeks of her wandering out, but we put a baby gate in the bedroom doorway so that if she got up she couldn't get hurt, and we would just put her back in bed without talking or interacting and then she lost interest in getting up. We didn't verbally acknowledge if she got out of bed or punish her, but if she stayed in bed all night then the next morning we would make a big deal about it and give lots of praise and a sticker. It's not like we were sleeping through the night at that point anyway so getting up wasn't really creating more of a sleep interruption for us :) She was very reward oriented though so stickers have been a good technique for everything with her - potty training, etc. Good luck!

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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M.C.

answers from Nashville on

That's about the age I transitioned both my kids to their big beds. We actually opted to skip the toddler bed and went straight from crib to twin beds. We placed their bed in a corner and then used a safety rail for the one side that was open. This worked great! At first, I put all thier crib toys on their new bed and even used the same color bottom sheet and just their small blankets from their cribs. I kept it the exact same as their crib as much as I could. No pillow or big comforter set or anything like that. =0) Then, I made sure their rooms were perfectly safe (safety cords on blinds, outlet covers, etc.) They had minimal toys in thier room b/c I knew that would be an issue with staying in bed. Basically, I made their rooms pretty boring at first. =0) We then placed a good, sturdy baby gate at the door. I kept everything the same at night, even down to carrying them into their room and laying them in their new beds. We actually had many, many discussions about the new bed coming and how exciting it is and oh my you're getting so big, etc. etc. LOTS of talking it up! =0) For the first week or so, we would hear them rummaging around in there. It was just so exciting to them...being able to get up all by themselves. It takes a while for that new excitement to wear off. My son would empty all his dresser drawers out. LOL Eventually, I had a spell where I kept them empty so that he would get bored and maybe stay in bed instead! =0) And, it worked. It only took about two weeks from start to finish. It's just one of the many transitions you go through with your kids. Just make it very exciting for him. And try to keep everything the same as you possibly can. What an exciting time for your little man! Good luck! =0)

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L.C.

answers from Raleigh on

Keep him in the crib as long as you can:) Our oldest was 23 months when his brother was born. He loved his crib and slept wonderfully, but climbed out at 21 months so we thought it was time.It was hard, he was not ready.He is 4 now and still will not go to sleep by himself, and bed time is all over the place.With our second we tried regular bed at 24 months and after a week of 11pm bed time and waking up at 5 we were done. Got the crib tent. All is well:)No bed time problems, no screaming. If your son is happy in the crib KEEP HIM THERE(baby sleeps by mommy in the begining anyways)

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K.G.

answers from Raleigh on

#1 - relax!
#2 - Don't anticipate problems. Your son will pick up on your anxiety
#3 - Go with the flow. If he does go in your room or get upset will that change the course of events? No, you'll still have your new baby.
#4 - Remember you probably didn't get a lot of sleep with the first one so you may be up anyway with baby #2.

Start off with telling your son he's getting so big and getting him to buy into the big boy bed idea.
I never had a baby monitor (I'm a super light sleeper) but if you use one, close your door at night so he has to knock to get your attention and it's not o.k. to just waltz in, whenever.
Try to make special time for just your son, when putting him to bed. I found that spending some special time (and I tell him 5 or 2 minutes or however long you want to give) saves 3 trips up and down the stairs.
Each child is different. With my daughter, even when she was an only, I kissed her goodnite and walked out the door. My son (now 10) likes his nightlight on, music or "white noise" playing, back rubbed, etc. We talk then and SO much comes out.

You're lucky they are close in age. Enjoy your precious babies -- they grow up so fast!

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D.D.

answers from Knoxville on

When our oldest daughter was two we moved her to a big girl bed. I used bed rails (so it doesn't feel wide open) and we placed a baby gate in her door way. The door stayed open, but she couldn't get out and "visit" us in the middle of the night. The gate was mainly used to keep her safe in case she woke before us. She was a good sleeper anyways, so I don't think she would have visited us. She was an early riser though and this helped keep her safe. The change didn't seem to bother her one bit. (She could climb out of her crib when she wanted so I think she was ready.)

As far as the transition, she loved the idea of going to a "big girl" bed. I think if you sound positive and excited about it your child will like the idea too. You may want to talk it up for a few days before you make the change. I've found that kids usually transition better with notification. Good luck and Congratulations on your new addition!

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T.K.

answers from Fayetteville on

If you can, go ahead and set his big boy bed up in the room with his crib, my 3 essentially moved themselves into their big boy beds when we did that. Our answer to keeping him in his room was child gate across the bedroom door. We purchased one of the more expensive, sturdy walk-thru gates that the boys were not able to manipulate.

Good Luck!
T.

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S.R.

answers from Greensboro on

My children are 37 months apart. Right after the oldest turned 2, we moved him into a toddler bed with a rail. He started coming into our room in the night. My husband would get up in the night and move to our spare bedroom because I had leg cramps and needed the space in the bed. So my little one would get in the bed with me. We should've put him back in his bed from the get-go because now he STILL comes into our room and the baby is 18 months old! My advice to you is get your little one transitioned into the bed (this may take a few weeks of going between crib and bed), but don't let him sleep with you at night ( unless you already do).

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E.T.

answers from Memphis on

If you have the space in his bedroom, I would put the bed in there with the crib. We had a twin bed in my second son's room the whole time. A few months before he turned 2, we would let him take his naps in it with a bed rail to get comfortable with the idea of it. Then one day he switched to sleeping in it at night. We talked to him about it first and asked him if he wanted to try it out. He was all for it and slept great in it...until he and his big brother decided to share a room and sleep in the bunk beds.

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S.B.

answers from Charlotte on

I was able to keep mine in a crib until they were at least 3. Have you considered getting a second crib? It might be worth the cost if it helps your son keep being a good sleeper.

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