Mothers of Relapsed Potty Trained Toddlers

Hi L.,

My daughter has gone through the same issues. She is in kindergarden and is 6 years old. I have been battling this problem for 4 years now. She was completely potty trained at age 2 and 1/2. Just every so often she regresses. I tried to pinpoint it to problems we were having in our home and could do that except there were a few times when it would happen when nothing was going on. I took her to the doctor to make sure there were not physical problems and there were not. I punished her, took away things, awarded her, I did it all. I even ignored it. Nothing seemed to work. Recently, my husband and I separated and the issue started again. I was able to directly relate it then. Since then, I have her in play therapy. The counselor says that it is because of the issues at home. She is back to being great again and I am hopeing and praying that the play therapy will resolve the issue forever.

I hope that helps. Feel free to contact me if need be. My email is ____@____.com.

J. Mathis

I have experienced this with both of my kids. The first had a relapse after my second was born. I felt like I was forever cleaning up accidents. I also noticed with my first that she would be caught up in activities and would wait until the last second to go and would have an accident. With the second I recently took the pacifier away and although he has been potty trained for at least six months the accidents started. I am not a doctor or a nurse but it seems to me that a change in life that seems big to a child can trigger this. I tried not to make a big deal of it when it happened. When it happened they would help clean up the mess and then wash themselves. I wouldn't go back to potty pants because then you would have to start from the beginning. Hang in there.

My son also had relapses and when I spoke to his doctor about it he said it is probably related to emotional stress since there was nothing physically wrong with him. We were able to pinpoint it to things going on at home. Hang in there and be patient.

My daughter did the same thing,I took her to the doctor and found she had a bladder infection, they treated it and she was fine till the next time. She continued to have these infections till they did surgery. The infections stopped and so did the accidents. To many parents take the side of their child just being lazy, there is always a reason for a child over the age 3 having these accidents. Parents need to re assure their child that everything is OK. Parents need to find out what the problem is, take her to the doctor, if there is no medical reason for it, then it's an emotional one. Treat it as such, no child should feel shame for this. Good Luck.

Kids this age are very sensitive to life changes, so it seems like you already know the reason for this last set back. I wouldn't address it with her as a potty issue. I would approach it as a security issue. Someone who was in her life has now left it. Maybe ramp up anything you can do to let her know that you guys are a "team" and she's an important part of it. If she's getting upset about seemingly small things, humor her and treat them as important things, etc.

I'm about to return to work full time and my 4 yr old is exhibiting all kinds of behavior issues. I've taken her on a mommy date, sat and played board games, etc. and it seems to help. I've also had to be firm with boundaries, really enforcing our routines, etc. Of course, you'll need to do similar things for your other child too, but it seems like she may make the adjustment better.