Mothers Day Nightmares

I am sorry. Hugs for you.Mmy in laws dont care for me much so when I am around the family, I just smile and pretend that I dont hear them. (I will cry about it later and remeber that I am a bigger person) Last year I went and bought myself some flowers and a neckless with my kids birthstones.This year I am buying a vacuum as I really need a new one. again Hugs for you and Happy Mother's day

That would be really hard and would make me depressed too. Have you tried talking with those members of your family that hurt you and told them how bad they made you feel. Some people dont realize how mean they are being until it is pointed out to them.

I am also a single mom with two great kids and it is really hard. I have a great family who is very supportive but the loneliness especially on holidays is pretty hard. Even though I hang out with my family it is still hard not having a significant other.

If you ever need to talk feel free to email me at ____@____.com or call me ###-###-####

A.

T.,
I am so sorry to read this. What stands out to me is that you come from a CHRISTIAN family.
I don't care if you are catholic, LDS, jewish, etc.
NO ONE, NO ONE is in a place to judge you. Your family should be ashamed of their behavior! That is not very CHRIST LIKE at all!
We all go through our own paths in life. We are SUPPOSED to do things a little of track, in order to learn from them. That is our whole purpose.
You go to this Mother's Day party, and hold your head up high! God chose you to be that little girls mother, and no one can take that from you!!!
Who cares if other people acknowledge you or not, the most important person in your life does, your daughter!

I have problems with people that call themselves "Christian", and then shun the people that Christ welcomed into his arms.

Anyway, this is YOUR mother's day. While it is nice of husbands/others to acknowledge it, it is really between you and your daughter. The father of your child, while it would be a nice gesture, and can "help" your daughter in the future, is not a part of that. Just like you don't have to be a part of father's day.

I am also expected to spend mother's day with my husband's family. Since this isn't my mom, and this is my first mother's day too, I really want to spend it with just my husband and son. My sister-in-law, while not openly hostile, just isn't a nice person and I don't want to spend MY day with her. But my husband feels that he needs to do something for/with his mom. (Mine is 600 miles away! Yes, I am a bit bitter that I have to be with his family most holidays). I agreed to a meal (they usually have all day sitting around watching TV time). I figure that I can handle a couple hours, but no more.

If you want to go be with your mom, set a time limit for yourself. If anyone is openly disrespectful to you, stand up for yourself and your daughter and tell them that it isn't appropriate behaviour in front of your daughter. If they aren't willing to alter their actions, then be prepared to leave. You should never have to stand for being belittled in front of your daughter, especially by your family.

If you would rather opt out of the "family" celebration, talk to your mom and let her know how you feel. You can arrange a special day for just the 2/3 of you on another day.

Sorry for rambling on a bit!

I am so sorry to hear that your family is so hurtful. My sister had an experience like you did I was young enough not to see it as a child and now as an adult I am appalled how bad she was treated. First of all you are not a bad person for having a child without being married. You have been given a gift in your daughter. I am glad your mom is supportive. I would suggest you make Mothers Day your day. Ask your mom to breakfast or lunch to celebrate her and then skip out on the family event. ( Truly your family now is you and your daughter, plus any good friends, families are who you love not who you are blood with) If your family feels slighted who cares, they dont respect you why should they have your respect. Spend the day with your daughter, go to a park, zoo, aquarium, shopping, do what you want to do. Make a gift to yourself of a handprint of your little girl ( these are such treasures as they get older) It not silly to be bummed, but it is in our power to change our attitude. Mother's day really is just another day, and our gifts are given daily from our kid, they are the smiles, laughter, hugs, and sweet things they say. As your daughter gets older Mothers day is more fun because of all the art they make at school. As for your daughter's dad dont be hurt about him not acknowledging, most guys dont realize how, far a word or card can go. Just make sure you send him a card for Fathers day, and perhaps in a few years :-) he will get the idea. Best of wishes to you and congratulations on your beautiful baby girl. Happy Mothers Day!

Hi T., I would like to wish you a Happy Mothers Day. You did not make a mistake nor should you regret having your daughter out of wedlock. Babys are a gift from god no matter if your married or not. Sometimes you have to choose what people you want to keep in your life and which ones you shouldnt. Keep the people around who are going to support you and not judge you. To that little girl you are better then anyone else in the whole world. I was a single mom and very young when I had my oldest. At 16 I was scared and sometimes a bit overwhelmed. But we made it. There are always going to be people who want to tear you down and pass judgment on you. Try not to let them get you down. That is just my 2 cents and I wish you all the luck in the world. You are a very special person. God picked you to be that beautiful little girls mommy. Agian Happy Mothers day and I wish you all the happiness you can stand.

this happened to me as well. my baby's father did not acknowledge my first mother's day in any way. my own family was very far away. his mother later that day gave me a tiny picture frame she had on her bureau, and a note. my baby is now 16. I still have that picture frame. I never put anything inside. it feels very bittersweet when I come across it, but part of me cherishes it.

Happy Mother's Day T.!!! I'm not a single mom, so I can't imagine how hard it is for you. I would suggest.....if you have to go to the party....go....it might not be as bad as you think. I don't think you're being silly at all for feeling bad about your family's reaction and treatment of you. Everyone wants to be acknowleged for something they are proud of and you have every right to be proud of your daughter and your decision to raise her as a single parent. If the party turns out to be a "nightmare" then go home and spend some special alone time with your daughter. Even though she can't say it, she appreciates and acknowledges your commitment and love for her more than anyone else in the world. I know it's hard to blow off hurtful treatment from others, especially family, but just know that you are doing the best thing for YOU and your daughter. Don't let them suck the joy out of YOUR DAY! Just look into her face and know that HER feelings for you are the only ones that matter. Good Luck and God Bless!

I am sorry they make you feel that way.

Happy Mother's Day. I can see you work so hard to be a good parent. Your daughter will make you cards when she is bigger.

I am not a single mother, and live far enough away that I will not be able to see my mother for mother's day. Maybe you could go to the party so that your mother gets to have her children with her. Even if it is just to say thank you for her support.

My husband is a full time student at BSU and works part time. He has asked me what I want for mothers day, and in the same breath reminded me that he has finals next week, and I will not see him much this week or weekend. (our budget is tight too)(lol) I told him just to make coupons for being able to sleep in or what ever. Our son Kai is 18 months and loves to wake up early.

One day your daughter will hopefully have a great daddy who takes care of you too. The Lords time is not our time.

Enjoy being a mother.

S. Broadbent
www.HomeWithKai.com

Hi T.,

Already great advice, but your post just compelled me to write!

Nothing can (or should) take away the hurt that you experienced when everyone knew you were pregnant. But for YOUR sake, it takes more energy to hang on to that than to let it go. What they did was wrong, but I would try to find a way to deal with your emotions over that and find some distance from that experience. Having said that, this year will be the test. If you still feel judged and hurt by them now, that's a different story, and then you need to find distance from THEM!! Just please don't start down the path of basing your opinion of anything on anyone else's say-so. You are a good mom, good Christian, good person because you know it, not because they say so.

I don't usually like Dr. Phil, but he has a saying that 'you teach people how to treat you'. I do believe that. If you allow people to get under your skin and let people say things about you, even subtly, they learn that you are an easy target. Confidence speaks volumes.

Finally, it's hard because your daughter obviously can't do anything for you for Mother's Day. I would suggest writing her a letter on Mother's Day morning. Just letting her know all the reasons why you love being her mom and why she is such a blessing. I think that will make you feel close to her and it's something special just for you two. Pack it away for when she's older. Then no matter how else the day goes, you had your special mother's day moment that no one can ruin.

Happy Mother's Day and best of luck!

I know how you feel. I am now a single mom of a 2 month old and have a side of the family that is so religious they still wear veils and ankle length skirts to 2 hour latin masses. I got the cold shoulder initially but when they saw her, they came around. It will take some time but I think that the world has adapted to a different time of different values and people stuck in their old ways are being forced to accept that. I'm preaching to the choir but enjoy your mother's day as a new mom. If things do get uncomfortable, have a plan B and skip out early for some R&R with your little ray of hope. Maybe the Aquarium?

I just wanted to tell you kudos for not marrying the dad when you found out he was an alcoholic!!! See how brilliant you are! Truly, sounds to me like you've been through so much, and the one place that you feel you shouldn't have to deal with rejection is your home. Sorry it isn't the safe haven it should be, but cheer up :D It could ALWAYS be worse! Look for the good, ignore all the rude and bad, and in the future years, your family will come to realize how you've turned a bad situation for your daughter into a blessing in all your lives! Remember, all you can do is your best. If it's not good enough, trust God will make up the difference. Keep up the good work, and if you're lucky, your daughter will sleep in Sunday as a gift to you! (it never happened for me, but maybe you'll be luckier)

Hey T.,

First off, I want to tell you that I'm a Christian, and I feel really apalled that your family would treat you that way! If anything, they should be the first to come alongside you and show you love. So, I'd like to congratulate you on your beautiful baby girl.

My brother and his now wife also had a baby girl out of wedlock and some of my family were positive and the others acted like your family. I wish that I could say that you can change people, but you can't. However you can tell them how it makes you feel and that it is not only important to you but also that it is important to your daughter's well being that they treat you with respect.

You already know how hard it is to raise a child alone - you don't need people treating you like you don't understand the circumstances.

Every ,single one of us makes mistakes, including your family, one of their's being that they aren't treating you right.

Even though I don't know you, my husband and I would love to have you and your daughter over for Mother's Day or to take you out for a special meal to celebrate the gift you are to your daughter.

I'm not sure if I've answered your question on how to deal with it, but I hope you know from one Christian to another that you are a special gift to your daughter, and even if your family doesn't get that, many other people do and you know it to! If nothing else, you should celebrate by taking your daughter to do something special with you!

Your friend and fellow mommy,
M.

OUCH! How nasty of them not to acknowledge you. It's nice that they acknowledge you now, but I'm sure the memories are still very fresh & that would make me not look forward to Mother's Day too. Is there a rule that you've got to go to the celebration? Why not spend the day w/your reason for being part of it-let her pick you out a gift (the first thing she grabs as you're walking past is your gift-hope she picks well lol), go have a picnic in the park.. and then go to your Mom's shindig? Yes, it's her day too, but now that you're a mom yourself, your family (you & your daughter) comes first & then everything falls in after that. Make your appearance at the family function, but there's no reason you need to stick around all day-spend some time w/your daughter too.
Maybe it sounds heartless, but if the dad's an alchoholic, you're never going to be his first priority. The sweet baby he gave you will have to be acknowledgement enough. Maybe in time he'll come around, but I wouldn't really hold your breath. You make your day special, & don't let anybody spoil it for you. My sister keeps telling me "nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent". Good point. Eleanor Roosevelt had something there. Nobody can make you feel bad/sad/unwelcome/etc without your consent either.
Happy first official Mother's Day!!

Hi T....I am sorry to hear that your family is treating you this way. It is too bad when people have to be so judgemental of others. Your family should be there to love and SUPPORT you no matter how you live your life. As for having a child out of wedlock...i hate that people refer to it as a "mistake" what a terrible word to associate a beautiful child with. how about we call it what it is...you made a decision that didn't correspond with the way you were raised or your families beliefs. it was a choice you made and now you have a wonderful gift. You are still a mother, no one can take that away from you. But I wouldn't be upset if your ex doesn't acknowledge it, he knows your the mother, but your not together anymore so why would you want anything from him? only expect him to do things like that for your daughter. Cheer up, if you don't like your extended family, don't go to your moms house. have some bonding time with just you and your baby, no tv, no phone, just snuggle with her and play... see your mom later, she will understand.

The only piece of advice that I can give is just to remember that you and your daughter are now 'Your family' Make a special day for you and her... it doesn't have to be on Mother's day and consider that your mother's day. Then if you still want to go to the family one you can, but regardless of how it goes you've had your special mother's day. That's what my husband and I do with our kids.
Anyway Happy Mother's Day from another mom and Congratulations on your precious daughter. My husband had a single mom and I just know you ladies who can do it are extremely strong... God bless you both!
Love in Christ,
S.

Hi, T..

Congratulations on your first mothers day! It is too bad that last year things were so hard for you. I have been married for 10+ years and I wanted to share with you something I learned the hard way.

You cant change the way people interact with you (ex. the way your family reacted to your pregnancy), you can only change your response to it. The only person you can change is you. Now, lets say that you wake up this Sunday morning, go to church with your daughter, then head over to your moms house. Everyone is there. You walk in and say Happy Mothers day to your mom, but no one says it to you, and they spend the rest of the day ignoring the fact that you qualify for the holiday. Yes, it is going to hurt. Yes, that response is not a christian attitude. But you can allow it to make you unhappy, or you can let it roll off your back, hold your head up, give your daughter a hug, and revel in the joy of being her mother, wheither your extended family acknowledges it or not. Choose to be happy! Say Happy Mothers day to yourself! You dont need anyone elses validation. Go get yourself something nice, ignore the people who dont treat you well, and love your daughter!

Recently I heard of a daughter that was angry with her mother for not making a bigger deal out of Mother's Day for her daughter, when she had a two month old. The mother had sent a card. It suddenly became clear to me...mother's day is about us honoring our monthers. Our children in turn will learn to honor us, by the example we set.

I have four children, I love Mother's Day, my friends have joked that I would not be happy unless my husband built me a shrine to honor me. I am embarassed to say, that I too have had high expectations, only to be disappointed. I don't know why I just finally got it, but it is about our mothers and all that they have done for us. It is not up to our husbands, boyfriend, siblings or family to honor us. It is up to us to honor our mothers for all they have done.

This year it is everyone's job in our family to honor their mother. I just learned the Saturday before has is a day to acknowledge the mothers that have let others raise their children through adoption. We will be recognizing that day as well.

My heart goes out to you. I worked with single moms and have heard some incredible success stories. My own sister in law had a daughter and twin boys before she was nineteen, only to meet and marry my brother when the kids were 9 and 11. As a single mom, without a mom herself, she finished high school, enrolled in job training, through the state, worked sometimes more than two jobs, bought a condo, finished college, going at night over years and now is a stay at home mom with a daughter in college and two boys getting ready to graduate from H.S. Her faith came later, but she would say that it is what sustained her thorough hard times.

You love your daughter, that is a great thing. As she gets older show her and teach her what it is to honor her mother, by your example. Celebrate motherhood with just you and your daughter by doing something special and fun with her. Use the big party to honor your mom, and not look upon it as a nightmare.

There are several MOPS groups that meet at night and there are moms are welcome. Some cater specifically to teens or to single moms.

Just remember that your child is a blessing and a gift no matter how she came into this world. No matter how/if anybody else recognizes this Mother's Day, YOU recognize it as your special day because your baby is no less God's child than any other. You have been blessed and this is YOUR day. Don't let anyone take the joy of motherhood and your first Mother's Day away from you. And do your daughter the favor of enjoying it because you are celebrating being her mother.

I'm sorry that your first Mother's Day had to come with such mixed emotions. It'll all be worth it when your little one is old enough to show and tell you how special you are to her.

I am a Christian, also, but I can't UNDERSTAND how it's Christian to turn your back on someone you love because they made a "mistake." You got a beautiful little miracle out of that "mistake" and love and forgiveness are Christian values I hold dear to.

My biggest joy is my children. (ages 32,30,25,22,15) If they didn't acknowledge me on Mother's Day, I would be OK with that. They bring me joy every time I see them and I'm a mother every day, including Mother's Day.

If my husband ignored the day I would be OK with that, I'm NOT his mother. I find it interesting that we let the big hype of society's expectations on certain holidays dictate how we should act and feel...actually, I find it sad.

Every smile your young daughter gives you on Mother's Day will be a gift that you didn't ever have on any Mother's Day before this one. Every time you do something for her, you'll feel her love radiating back to you. I bet if you tried to count on that day how many times you feel her love or how many times she smiles back at you, you'll lose track. Those are the real gifts and the only attention you really need to know that you are a great mother to her.

Hmmm a bunch of hostile, judgmental and backbiting people are calling YOU a bad person?? Really???? Can't they leave the judgment for God and accept you as the human being that you are? Guess that's a stretch for some. It's not, however, silly to be upset by their behaviour no matter what day it is.

Personally, I'm not a big fan other Mother's Day since its a manufactured holiday that causes lots of heartache just like this. And the idea that anyone other my 2 kids would offer some 'mothers day' things for me just grates. I only have two kids, no more, no less. I don't expect anyone else to acknowledge that I'm mom.

If you're so inclined, get you mom a nice card. Wish her happy mothers day and then spend the day with your daughter. It's her day to celebrate you, let her. And let the "family" be, well, as they are and move on.

it's okay to protect your emotional health and if you aren't feeling up to facing mothers day with your whole family, you can skip it and spend the day with your daughter and invite your mom to go to lunch with you the day before or after. perhaps even get yourself a sitter and go get a massage to reward yourself for being such a great mom.
change the patterns for yourself so you don't resent the holidays. maybe next year or the year after the bitterness will have died down and you won't need the buffer but if you need it this year give it to yourself.

If I were in that situation, I think I'd take my daughter and do something special with her alone, and forget about the family party. Why would you want to participate if they are going to be negative and unsupportive with you? Make your day special for yourself. You can celebrate with your mom beforehand to do something for her.

This is sad, but understandable. To a large extent, the family members are horrified that the girl is growing up without a permanent dad, and probably aware of the long-term consequences. They're probably not joyous about that. (It's not about you having had sex; it's about the girl's future; and I'm sure you know from reading books about this and hearing the callers on Dr. Laura, the odds don't fall on her side.)

I've already told my daughters (Christian family) that if this happens to them, the child will be adopted out.

This is a VERY TOUGH SITUATION. People have a right to their feelings, as do you. I guess you might as well go right up to them, tell them that you regret your mistake, but you're making the best of it right now, and to please put the past behind them and be an important person in your daughter's life.

I will pray for you and them to heal together. God bless you.

sorry it is hard for you, I echo what the other moms have said however, mothers day was made up by the card companies to make money. Do something nice for your mother and don't expect anything. Don't give in to the common thing of women expecting so much and considering it 'their' day. You can't control what others will do for you and you don't have to be like so many women who get depressed on mothers day. I just consider it a Sunday in May when I want to make sure I do something nice for my mother and anything towards me is just a pleasant surprise. I know my husband and kids appreciate me, they dont have to be super doters on mothers day.

It's not silly for you to be hurt, it's understandable that you have conflicted feelings about the whole thing.

I am wondering though why you would think that it should just be you and your mom and not the whole family celebrating the day? Why wouldn't your mom want to be with her whole family? I am with the previous comment that mentioned how strange it is that we expect others, besides our children, to celebrate us on Mother's Day when we aren't their mothers.

I have often found that when I am down and thinking of how frustrated I am about something happening to me that the best way to remedy my feelings is to do something for someone else. Celebrate YOUR Mom on Mother's Day. Do something special for her. Not necessarily buying something, but find something that will be especially meaningful to her. Write her a letter and tell her how much you appreciate her acknowledgement of your impending motherhood last year. Think of those special moments you have had with her since the birth of your daughter and tell her of those things. Then take some time for yourself, reflecting on the wonderful blessings that come with being a mother to your little girl. If it will make you feel better, and because it is always fun, indulge yourself with something! But don't forget that your little girl truly is the greatest gift you will ever receive. Remember that everything else is just stuff!

Failing to love and accept your family members and honor a hard-working mother on mother's day is in my opinion NOT Christian at all. I am so sorry that your family is treating you poorly in this regard, hopefully this year will be better. Sometimes holidays are just so busy that we forget to do all those little things for everyone so it may not have been out of malice that you were forgotten, I hope it was not. Just remember that the most important person, your daughter, loves you and will be there to give you smiles and hugs and kisses (and lets face it, tantrums and troubles) for many mother's days to come.

I'm not a single mom, but have had instances where others have "bashed" my husband behind my back or made judgments about choices I have made. It has taken some time, but I have come to look more at myself and how I think I'm doing in my life, instead of how others view me. Being a mom is simply an amazing experience, and no matter what others believe, you are giving your daughter your love and care. If others around you must criticize, that's not productive for you. I'm not a confrontational person, but I've found it best to confront others about their damaging comments and clear the air. It's sometimes hard to know whether this will help or not.

It sounds like your ex has various issues to deal with, so take pride in how much you love and cherish your daughter. A Happy Mother's Day can be a self-celebration, too. Enjoy being a mom!

Let me be one that wishes you a wonderful mother's day! :) I'm so sorry to hear about your hardships with your family, just know that mothers day is something you can make wonderful for yourself! Regardless of how others treat you or if you get some gifts or not- You already have the most precious gift you can get- Your child. Be sure to just relish in the fact that you love her, she loves you, and you have each other. After she's in bed sunday night take some time for yourself- a nice bubble bath with candles or something. one more time- happy mothers day.

I know it's hard but ignore the people who ignore you. They will only bring you down. You can respect them and treat them kindly when you see them but you can't expect the same when you've gone agaist everything they believe. That's their choice to be narrow-minded, not yours. It's not their place to judge you so don't worry about what they say or think. I'm the "black sheep" in my family too and although they don't like that I have a potty mouth or that I wear tank tops I've decided that the only people I should care about their opinions are my husband and my children. The only person you should care about is your daughter and teaching her to not be narrow-minded. Maybe for mother's day you should stop off at your mom's, just for her, just for a minute to let her know how much you appreciate her acceptance then spend the rest of the day with your daughter. She loves you and she needs you and that's what matters, not the cards and not the verbal recognition...it's just being with her that you should be concerned about. You mistake has given you your daughter and has taught you to teach her everything you have learned from this. The way you handle others will be the way she handles others.

That sounds hard. I think that would make me depressed too if my family wasn't very accepting. I say you should just try and love your family anyways, in time they will come around. You made a mistake, everyone makes mistakes. They are making mistakes for judging you. So honestly what does everyone want when they make mistakes they want people to love them anyways and move on. I think that you could just do your best because singe and married that's all you can ask of moms. We don't always know what we are doing, but we do the best that we know how and try to improve when we can. When I have a rough,bad day I just remind myself that tomorrow will be better. And it almost always is. I also keep in mind that no matter what anyone else says about me that God knows the truth, and he will always love me. He knows that I love my little ones more then anything and try to do whatever I can to make them feel loved, safe. Educate and guide them. And that is what really matters. I don't know how I would make it through parenthood without his help. I love my Heavenly Father and as long as I keep him close everything doesn't seem so bad.

Leaving religion aside, I think you are being a tiny bit silly to expect your whole family to accept what you have done even though they accept you and your daughter. You made a huge mistake and disrespected your parents by dismissing the values they raised you on. So for that, of course there are consequences. Of course people are disappointed in you, but that doesn't mean eventually it won't get better. (Just a little side note...it's not just because of religion that women shouldn't have babies until they are married. It has A LOT to do with what is in the best interest for the babies. You and your daughter are experiencing those consequences, so I won't get into them. I just wanted to point out that it isn't all about religion). So, I have a couple of suggestions. First one...you can go to your mom's with your daughter in one arm and flowers in the other and keep your head held high for the day and enjoy being a mom. Second one...you can pack a nice pic-nic lunch and take your daughter to a park with a big field and nice views. Bring a big blanket and a few toys and just enjoy lying there peacefully with your daughter before you go to your mom's house. This way you clear your head and enjoy Mother's Day before you go to the party. I personally would go with the second option. One thing to keep in mind...it's not all about you. Take care.

I haven't read all the replies, so maybe this is a repeat. I would suggest instead of you worrying about whether others are celebrating your motherhood, you make the effort to celebrate others' motherhood. Start with your mother especially but be excited for others, too. Your enthusiasm will rub off positively and they will respond positively to you even if they hadn't planned on it. You will also feel the joy you share with others and it will bless your life. It is the whole "lose your life to find it" principle. If you focus on others rather than yourself, this will be the greatest Mother's Day you have ever had.

T.,

Hopefully you found joy last week during Mother's Day.
Please find it in your heart to forgive yourself for the circumstances that you became a mother. Being a mother is one of the most a beautiful gifts you can give yourself. As long as you feel shame about how your daughter was conceived it will not only affect your relationhsip with your family. It will affect your relationship with your daughter and her own self-esteem.

We can not change the past. All we can do is learn from it and take those lessons to make us more charitible to others. Enjoy the beautiful family that you have created and celebrate being a mother.

With my whole heart, C.
Owner of Loving Connections LLC

Good luck, its so hard to be a single Mom. Last mothers day I was in the middle of a divorce and it was awful, this year will hopefully be better. Stand up for yourself and for your daughter. I hope this year is better, but dont count on anyone else to make it that way. do it yourself, treat yourself to a great day. Good luck

My bet is that the family will react differently this year. Your daughter is actually here now and you are "officially" a mother.

As for the father of your little girl, I know a lot of folks believe any father should acknowlege mother's day for the mothers of their child/children and perhaps that thought is correct. However, I never expected that. My first husband (father of my two children) did always get me a gift, but again, this wasn't something I particularly expected. My second husband doesn't even tell me "Happy Mother's Day," and that doesn't bother me. My children are adults and I very much appreciate having recognition from them. However, I'm sure my son can do nothing for the date this year because he is at basic training for the Army. If it's something he's even able to take note of, I'll consider that a real bonus.

Over the years, I've seen a lot of moms really work themselves into hurt feelings over Mother's Day issues. It makes me sad to see that happen. After all, it truly is only an artificial holiday. There is no religious or spiritual significance to it. It's a one-day nod to the incredible and important things you do 365 days per year. What is a meal at a restaurant or a bouquet of flowers in comparison to that, anyway?

My very best Mother's Day I was in Baltimore, MD, for a conference and took an afternoon ferry ride across the inner harbor. My kids were back at home. They phoned me to wish me a happy Mother's Day, which was nice, and every stranger I met, the ferry operators, waiters, etc., all said, "Happy Mother's Day." It made me smile every time.

But really, why not do something nice for yourself for Mother's Day? You deserve it. I remember years ago asking my sister (about what I had done), "What kind of a mother hires a babysitter and goes to a movie on Mother's Day?" Her answer was, "A mom who needs and deserves a little special break for herself."