Mother Seeking Advice on Giving My Teenager Pepperspray.

I think that is a VERY good idea and maybe some self defense classes. anything that will keep her safe.

The pepperspray is not a bad idea, but from what I understand about the perpatrator, he doesn't give his victims much time to pull it out. However, the number one reason that serial rapist pick the targets that they do is vulnerabilty/accessability. Tell your daughter to always be aware of her surroundings. Never chat on the cellphone as she walks. Avoid walking in front of alleys or hidden spaces. Be aware of people sitting in parked cars. If she is about to walk up to a space where someone could be hiding, like a large van, cross the street. Tell her to keep her head up, know what is going on around her, and walk purposefully and confidently. There can be strength in numbers so if you absolutely can not drive her, see if you can organize a walking group. Other local parents probably have the same concerns you do. Same ideas apply though, always be aware. Research with serial rapists show that these things do matter. Most people don't know this so pass it on!

If it's not possible for you to drive her to school I would absolutely buy her the pepperspray, at least it's something-you know? Anyway, I would buy her the pepperspray for sure!

My advice to you is to have her walk to the bus stop with other kids. I must say I disagree about her not talking on the cell phone. We have a garage that is located in an alley and come in early in the morning when it's pitch black outside. I am always on the phone with one of my girlfriends and I always tell them if they hear me screamming to call the police and send them to my house. (In this case she can be on the phone with you.) For times when I do not have the option of having some one on the phone I press 911 and have my finger over the talk button, in case I need to press it. I am also aware of everything around me at all times, and let her know to trust her intuition and if something doesn't feel right to go in the house and lock the door and call you right away. The self defense classes help as well. If you do get her the pepper spray make sure she doesn't put it down at school and have another kid take it and use it on other kids. Hope this helps.

I truly feel for you. I can only imagine how high your anxiety level must be. But you have received excellent advice from others and I would definitely listen to them all. Self defense courses are a must in my opinion, they would help her learn the basics at least. Being aware of her surroundings and as one Mother advised, never talk on her cell phone while walking alone are very important.

I wish you both the very best.

I would definetely give her the pepper spray. I would also explain to her that it is only to be used in case of emergencies. Also, you may want to talk to the school and see what their policy is on pepper spray. She may have to leave it in the office or something when she gets there and then pick it up after school. Im sure that the school wouldnt let her carry it around with her all day. That rapist issue is scary and I would definetely not be walking around in St. Paul without some kind of protection.

What a scary thing!!

Have you spoken to your daughter about it? A lot might depend upon how comfortable she is carrying pepperspray- if she isn't comfortable with it, it won't be much help to her, and could also be a danger to her.

Maybe if you called the police department and asked them for tips about how best to protect her? Perhaps they'll have some ideas that would make you feel better about the situation. Also, maybe they can let you know if they've stepped up the patrols in your neighborhood, or maybe (I'm not sure about this) they could tell you when the patrols are in the area your daughter has to walk in, so that you can time her walks to coincide with the patrols.

If you aren't able to walk with her or drive her, maybe she could buddy up with some of the other kids in the area, that way she isn't walking alone. I'm guessing that a girl alone is more of a target than a group of kids. Of course, these are all guesses...Wishing you and your daughter the best of luck!!

M.

I would not consider anything else but to drive your child anywhere she needs to go. The phone will not prevent her from being raped and some people are immune to the spray. A Zapper thing may or may not work. I would be worried sick about my kid. My husband suggests martial arts. That will work only after she's learned it though. I would consider nothing but driving her. If you can't drive then I'd consider funding for a cab ride or have another mother drive her. I'd be worried about the male drives in cabs as well just because that's how I am. If you can drive her, do it.

Pepper Spray is always a safe alternative for your daughter. It's a non-lethel way for her to product herself. It would allow her time to get away in an uncomfortable situation. My husband and I run an online self defense product company at http://www.laneselfdefense.com. You should check out the website for a lot of great products for yourself and your daughter. Hope this helps.