Mother in Law CPR Certification

I have never asked that of a relative, but I also don't find it unreasonable and do not see why they would get so mad about it. It is not like the class is that hard, and it only lasts a couple of days. IMO MIL and aunt are acting childish.

Both.

I would wonder why she would "Insist" and not "suggest"

And why they would "refuse"!

Bigger issues?

Anyhoo--does the baby have heart problems? Then I can see insisting.
Otherwise, while helpful, can they dial 9-1-1?

Pretty ridiculous actually. Well if you are willing to pay for it & attend class with them what's the harm?

they are probably insulted because OBVIOUSLY they were able to raise children successfully without this certification.

quite honestly-I wouldn't want to watch your children either if I were them. I would be scared that my every little move would be under a microscope and nothing would ever measure up to the 'expert' -your wife. I guess you guys are not going to get out much.

So your wife told your relatives that they aren't capable of taking adequate care of your baby. They are upset about that.

Who here is being unreasonable...

I would be insulted... unless your baby has a serious medical condition that potentially requires CPR.

I would never even think to ask that of a relative. It's completely silly.

Not even remotely reasonable!

I got certified when I had my kids but that is my choice, I had the time and the money. I never thought to ask anyone else to do it, that would just be silly. My oldest is 23 and I have yet to need the knoweledge.

Not sure if anyone pointed this out but you are asking them to do you a favor, babysitting, and then making them jump through hoops to do it.

If my son married someone like your wife I would have told her to get back to me when she realizes her child just ate pea gravel and lived.

You are going to have one messed up, scared of his own shadow, child if your wife is this overprotective in all areas.

I mean all this with all the love and concern a mom can give. Sometimes you just have to let them live.

I don't think its a crazy request. Many teen babysitters are certified now. Daycare providers need to be. For you as a parent, its just an added peace of mind, not a mistrust issue. Maybe you need to make such a thing clear to them. Put the fear or whatever onto YOU, not a thing onto them.

Its easy to do, inexpensive usually (here for a daycare provider class on infant and child CPR its 4 hours and about $40 a person...if you are willing to do an 8 hour day for about $80 each, you add the 4 hours of basic first aid as well.) Anyone can attend child care provider trainings usually.

Worrying about the "what if" should not rule a parents thoughts...but if a few hours of their time can tamper some doubts...its totally worth it! So many people think new moms have this "crazy" factor to them...but really, it doesn't matter...its their baby and if this is what it takes, it really is not unreasonable.

Good luck!

This actually never crossed my mind when it came to family. His daycare providers and date night sitter are all CPR certified, as are my husband and myself (old lifeguards!).

Having said that, it seems a little extreme on both sides and personally I would bend on this one b/c I want my children to be surrounded by family and loving adults.

If your child has a medical condition, then by all means it's not unreasonable. If not... really consider whether or not this is a battle worth fighting. If it is- offer to pay for the classes (afterall, it's your "rule" not a law) and then make arrangements to go out the day after the course is completed!

I think it's a good idea for ANYONE who is going to care for little ones. Heck, it's good idea for anyone at all regardless if they are going to care for kids. You never know when you'll need it. I would think that the mil and aunt would be willing to do it in order to have the know how in case the unthinkable was to happen. Wouldn't they be kicking themselves if something was to happen and they didn't know what to do and as a result of their inability to act, the child died? They need to think of it as not doing it for your wife but for their grandbaby/niece or nephew. So yes I think it's a reasonable request and if they can't agree to take the course, then they don't get to watch the little one. Stand by your wife on this one. Nothing's more important than the life of your child.

Wow.
Wanting a full time nanny to be certified? Sure I get that.
But family members?
And your child is not medically fragile?
What will you do when your child goes to school? birthday parties? play dates and sleepovers? sports practice? scout meetings?
Will you require certification of every adult who ultimately will be responsible for him at some point in his life?
Since you asked I have to say, yes it is ridiculous, possibly one of the most bizarre and extreme parenting requests I've heard of in my over 18 years experience of being a mom!

First time parents? ;)

I have 2 kids from a previous relationship, then my husband and I have our son together. He was 'your wife' when the baby was still a newborn. I'm telling you this because: it will get better. First off, anyone who can dial 911 will receive instructions on how to perform CPR on an infant over the phone (because let's face it, even if you are CPR certified, most people freak out in an instant and forget). Second, I will be VERY surprise if anyone actually has to perform CPR on your daughter in her entire lifetime.

Hand your wife a glass of wine, take the baby, and let her chill out a bit. She's still hormonal; be sensitive to that and soothe her fears :)

PS... I'm a former EMT and the thought never crossed my mind that caregivers should be CPR certified. She's being a bit paranoid (understandable) but her fears are unrealistic.

It depends...does your son have a serious health issue that would warrant the training? If not - it's overkill and I too would think it's a ridiculous request...

If however, your son has health issues that would warrant knowing infant CPR, then justified and no one should be balking about how to notice any changes, if he has cords and wires attached - how to care for them...yes...totally acceptable.

A little of column A, a little of column B. I understand her fears and am going to guess that she is a first time mom. However, you might point out to her that her/your mom did raise you guys and you are both still kicking. Besides it wouldn't matter if my mom was CPR trained or not, if something happened she would just panic and not know what to do anyway. I still let her watch the kids because if nothing else, she does know how to dial 911.

Here's a solution for you. Why doesn't your wife teach the mom and aunt some CPR? Then everyone is happy.

I'm a ER nurse and I wouldn't think of asking/insisting my family do that. However, if the child had problems at birth such as premie, respiratory issues, etc. I can see how, in my opinion, that would be a valid request. Also as a new mom, my kids are 15mo and 3yr, I can see how she is being protective of her young. I wouldn't allow my 3yr old to stay with my mother-in-law until she was about 1yr and come to think of it my mother either. LOL! Like I told my husband, its not that I don't trust her, but even in nature the momma dog, bird, etc. watches over her young until they can do for themself. Hope this helps!

Well taking a class is a lot different than getting certified. Getting certified is more extensive. A lot of hospitals offer CPR classes. You can learn great info without having to be certified.
Could everyone compromise and just take a class?
My mom and I took the class together. Maybe your wife could set it up and take the class with them, maybe go to lunch afterward and make a nice day of it?
Maybe the nature of the request came off a little bad, but no I dont think its unreasonable to want caregivers to know CPR.
I would lighten the request up a little like I mentioned.

i think it is reasonable. this is the health and welfare of your child, better safe than sorry!!!!! plus, many hospitals have cpr/first aid classes for little to no cost. it may just save your childs life.

I think it's a very reasonable request! At the very least, they could take the infant CPR classes that many hospitals offer; you don't get full certification but are taught many of the techniques and usually provided with a handout to post in the house (ours is taped behind a cabinet door). It only took 2 hours out of our lives for a greater chance to save our son's life.

Why are your mother and aunt upset? Is it a time issue, cost issue or do they simply feel like your wife doesn't trust them? Any child provider, even family, maybe especially family! should be ok with taking a simple course. Many teen babysitters are certified now; it's just a normal thing to do.

For the record, I even made my parents get their whooping cough shots (dTap) after my son was born. They were more than happy to.

Absolutely reasonable. My 3 year old son's life was SAVED by my father last summer when he choked on a piece of chicken. He knows CPR - thank god! I took the course right after that episode. Local Girl Scout chapters in my area offer the course for only $15 (open to anyone with kids). If that is too expensive to potentially save your child's life, then they are not worthy of babysitting in my opinion. Good luck!

Wow, I must say I'm rather taken aback at how many find your wife's very reasonable safety request, a matter of life and death I might add, unreasonable. You also don't say that you are the ones asking them to watch the child; the way that sentence is stated, it could be either you or them wanting them to watch your child. Quite frankly, I don't care who you are, if you can't be bothered to learn CPR, you won't be watching my child either. It's also really surprising to me that considering both of you are health professionals, that your relatives would be upset by the request, and that you don't totally agree with your wife's requirement. If this was to be for a daycare situation, I would strongly encourage you to find a home daycare or daycare center. I'm certain that most would require that certification before leaving their child there and obviously any daycare center is required by law to certify their employees.

Think about it - anyone can stop breathing for a multitude of reasons. Would you want your child watched by someone not CPR certified? Would you be able to forgive yourself if something did happen and that knowledge could have made a difference? We just had a baby last year, and both my teens learned CPR. It's simply something everyone should take the time to learn.

If your baby has a medical condition that would warrant CPR certification, reasonable. Otherwise, a bit ridiculous. They're family! I agree with Carrie - if your wife's going to require certification, she should pay for it.

I think they should be a little more understanding. They don't have to agree with it, but just understand your wife's position. First time mom probably, right? Most first time mom's are a little crazy about something. This is just your wifes "thing" she's going to be crazy about. I actually understand where she is coming from. There is no detriment to taking the class. only a benefit. who's to say taking this class wont end up saving someone else's life if needed. maybe there is a compromise though... if you go on the american red cross website, there are videos on how to do cpr. maybe if you all watch it together your wife will feel more comfortable with them watching the baby.

This is the kind of thing that really burns me up. I don't think that your wife is being unreasonable at all. The bottom line is that we all as parents want to raise our children by our own standards. If a mother wants whoever will be watching her infant to be CPR certified, then her wishes should be respected. I HATE when family thinks that the rules and boundaries apply to everyone exept for them. If anything, the MIL and aunt should be grateful to have the added training for their OWN piece of mind. Just think if anything happened while your baby was in their care and they didn't know CPR...I would never get over the guilt. I will always think that a child's safety and well being ALWAYS trumps someone's hurt feelings. There is no downside to taking the class. Your family is being obstinate and hateful for digging their heels in on this one. In the same position, I would just tell them that it makes me sad that they would not be able to watch my baby....

I suggest that the issue isn't the CPR class. It's hurt feelings. Try to listen to your mil and aunt and sympathize with their feelings. Focus on understanding them and their reasons. I even suggest that you let them watch the baby without the certification for now. Give them back some power. Recognize them as special people you want in your and your baby's lives.

Look for CPR classes, in the meantime, and let them know about them. Because it's your idea, you pay for them. Make it easy to take the class.

Looking at it from the perspective of an aunty, if my SIL or sister requested that I learn CPR before I can babysit my nephew or niece, I'd be first in line at the Red Cross office the next day. Isn't it like a ONE day course?

Your wife *may* be a little...overprotective, but I think the MIL and aunt are in the middle of a power trip.

As a pediatric medical provider, you have no doubt come to realize that a mother's intuition can be very power and most accurate. If your wife feels strongly about everyone being CPR certified, then everyone needs to be CPR certified...end of discussion. If your mom and sister don't want to take the class, then so be it, but your wife is right. I am a former EMT / ER Tech and my husband is a paramedic and we both agree with her.
When my first daughter was a baby she was too young to get the flu shot, so we made everyone in the family who wanted to be around her get a flu shot, and they did. :)

is your wife going to pay for the certification? that would be my question.

I am CPR certified and have been for 10 years. I update my certification every 2 years. Frankly, I was glad to have that training before I had children. I felt a lot more prepared for an emergency when I had my first, and then second child. I have to say that between CPR classes, I only remember the basics so I am thankful for the refresher every couple of years. Even if your family took the class and got certified, they are not going to remember everything. I would suggest just asking them if they know what to do if your child chokes or stops breathing. If not, you can show them what they need to know... it's all they are going to remember anyway. I agree there is a lot of value in having someone care for your child who knows what to do in an emergency. My sons are 1 and 3. I ask my babysitters if they know how to handle an emergency before I leave, but I do not require that they be CPR certified.

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I think its a great idea! Everyone who cares for a child should know CPR

It depends on whether you two are offering to pay for the course. If you and your wife are paying for the course, then it's definitely a reasonable request. If you guys are expecting them to pay for the course, then it's a little ridiculous because some of those courses can be a few hundred dollars (Though where I live, I was able to take a course for about $12 through the high school).

Totally reasonable! We asked my MIL to take a course with us when we recertified. If it's a money issue, offer to pay for the course. You can often find less expensive courses through your fire department or local hospital. If they are simply refusing because they take the request as a commentary on their ability to competently care for a child, then they need to get over themselves. If they want to watch the baby, they must take the course. Good luck!

I think your wife's request is silly. I understand that this may be your first child, and it is quite possible that she will eventually relax but another poster hit the nail on the head when she said she wouldn't care for your child as God forbid, the child fall and get a bump or scratch! They would never live it down!

As someone who has taken the certification class 21 times (I am a childcare provider and it is required of me) I am here to tell you that unless you are using CPR on a regular basis, chances are you will not remember how to do it. When you are on the phone with a 911 operator, they will give you very specific instructions, in terms that are easily understood, and things will be just fine.

In 21 years, with countless children, I have never had to use CPR (thank goodness!) I believe your wife is creating a wedge between your child and his/her family. Back up, take a breath and understand that this request teeters on silly.

The mother in law and aunt need to grow up. So do a lot of people who responded here! If asking someone to become CPR certified at no expense to them is offensive, then people don't have enough in their lives to worry about.

I am CPR certified, but if a family member asked me to become certified before watching their child, I would GLADLY go through the time, expense and trouble to be certified. I value safety and family more than my own petty offenses or my pride. I hope your baby's family members also start to feel that way.

Thank you for supporting your wife even though you don't fully agree with her stance. You sound like a huge blessing to your family!

I think it is reasonable. I am 36 years old and I have maintained my CPR certification since I was 16 years old. I have a 5 year old and I have never let her be in anyone's care that did not have CPR certification, including family and friends. It is not a big deal for me to request it. I will also ask other parents for play dates if they are CPR certified, and if they have a gun in the home. So far, all the parents could already meet these conditions. I would have no problem politely turning down an invitation, or hosting it myself or at a park if the family owned a gun or were not CPR certified. And we have a large group of friends and social activities:)

I think it is interesting how many people said that unless there is a medical condition that it is not necessary. Usually, respiratory distress is not forewarned by a medical condition, especially in an infant. There are so many environmental factors in place that I would not be offended if someone asked me to be certified. And frankly, I could not imagine trying to learn while on the phone with the 911 operator, to me that seems really hard. It really does help to take the class and practice the techniques first.

I'm assuming you're first time parents :) Totally reasonable request on her part - first time parents are SUPER nervous. My husband and I both took the baby CPR class - it was very helpful and interesting. We didn't have to use the info, but it makes you feel better to know it. And it's not a super long class - a few hours, perhaps.

They didn't have these classes "back in the day", so I get that they don't understand all the fuss, but I'm willing to bet they would have taken the classes when they had their first babies if they had been available.

My MIL voluntarily took the class when her first grandbabies were born. It doesn't make sense to require a nanny to take a class but not a family member - the caretaker is a caretaker, and blood doesn't make you more capable.

I think that mother in law and aunt are the ones being ridiculous. I am CPR certified, and I pray to God I don't ever have to use it, but I know how if it ever happens. I would want anyone who watched my children to be certified as well. The fact that they aren't willing to learn how to potentially save your child's life in a four hour course is nuts.

Ridiculous.

I'm guessing this is your first child.