My best friend's pregnancy terminated when she was just over 20 weeks, so she went thru labor and delivery in March. She has no other children, but I would like to send her "something" for Mother's Day, any suggestions to what would be appropriate?
I also miscarried but at 16 weeks it was Very hard.Especially on mothers day.my best friend gave me a small angel, that was the BEST presant that I ever recieved. It reminds me my baby is an angel in heaven watching over me. I would do something like that for her.
Coming from someone who has misscarried, I would not give her anything for Mother's Day - it will just remind her of the baby she should have but lost. You need to understand that even though it wasn't a child she held, she is still going through the stages of grieving. It took me almost 6 months to come to terms with my misscarriage, and I was only 7 weeks. I know many others that were in different stages when theirs happened and they all felt the same way. If you want to do something special for her - you can send her a plant or do something else special for her, but don't give her a Mother's Day card. I do understand you are being thoughtful - but I really do feel it would be more difficult on her if she received something that said mother or anything to that nature (believe me, I'm sure she has a lot around her reminding her of the baby she lost and of the fact that she was supossed to be a mother, so this day will be tough enough on her).
I wouldn't give her a gift either, altough it is nice and thoughtful you might think. As a mother of two, and two miscarriages, it would be a reminder of the mom she wanted to be and stir up negative emotions most likely. Maybe send her a boquet of flowers to send some sunshine, but not for mom's day.
I also have miscarried, and I think that anything given to her on Mother's Day would just compound the grief. I have a little gift I like to give to people going through tough times. It's a little statue (there are several sizes) of two people hugging and it's called "Hugs" appropriately and you can look at it at www.ibloom.com. It's made by Iowa artist Isabel Bloom. It's a great little piece to give to people who really need a hug. You could give your friend something like this, but I would do it either before or after Mother's Day. Maybe on Mother's Day just give her a call and let her know you're thinking about her.
I agree with all the other posts. Also having had a miscarriage I don't think that there is an appropriate gift out there other than outstretched arms and the openness of your friendship. Maybe going out with her would be nice, not so sure on Mother's Day would be the best though...maybe a few days before so she knows you are availiable if she needs a shoulder on that day. It is a genuine and nice thought to want to reach out and I agree that you should but maybe not with a gift. Though I will say that when I miscarried someone gave me both a plant as well as a small angel with her arms held out letting go as well as a small frame with a small heart in it. It was heartfelt but it took a long time before I was able to display it.
A music box would make a great gift. When ever she feels down, the music would help soothe her.
Also coming from someone who has miscarried - twice. Don't do anything. The first time, I was ok with it (as much to be expected), but my second was at 11/12 weeks and I was devastated. I was so tired of all the "I'm sorry's" and such. They were just a reminder. I know people were just being kind and thoughtful, but it was like opening the wound every single time.
So, although your thoughts are so sweet and caring. Maybe just offer to have a girls dinner/lunch that doesn't center around Mothers Day.
T.
I had a still born and I agree with the other posts. The only gift I received that was appropriate was a small angle pin. My sister said I could wear it whenever I was thinking of the baby. I knew she was in heaven looking down on me, so I thought it was appropriate. If you wanted something bigger, maybe an angle statue for the garden, but I wouldn't do much more. Listening ears and a shoulder are a great gift too.
I was thinking maybe you could arrange to be with her a few days before Mother's Day. Can you meet for lunch or dinner or shopping? Enjoy the day and sometime during that time just let her know you will be thinking of her on Mother's day. Ask her if there is anything you can do for her, but I am not sure there is any sort of gift that is appropriate really. But then again maybe some flowers with a simple card that just says you are thinking of her may be nice, just to let her know you have acknowledged how hard the day will be for her.
