Mother-In-Law - Folsom,CA

OMG N.! I don't even know where to start. I thought my MIL was bad when it comes to food, I now see it could be worse. I won't let my daughter eat much at Grandma's house and she doesn't watch her because she can't follow OUR rules. Have you tried showing her info on the internet about food storage and spoilage? It sounds like there is more going on with her. Has she always been this way? If it were me, I would send her to the movies (or something) and then empty the fridge, freezer and pantry. When she came home I would inform her that food goes stale even in the freezer and you only want everyone to eat the very best. I'm a Christian and I've never heard of throwing things away to be a sin. I feel for you.
Sincerely,
L.

This is tough. I also like the idea of talking to her about food safety. I would suggest googling Food Poisoning and give her hard facts of what causes it and how it is prevented. Then talk about a time when she has been sick how did she feel. Then talk about how we know now what makes people sick and it is things that you cannot see. The older generation do not always understand about bacteria, and that is what makes food go bad and affect how food taste. Do some science experiements where you have good food and some of her same bad food? Let the kids help look at it side by side, smell it, feel it, then if she still want to taste it and see if she can tell the difference. Do this with stuff that you know tastes bad or different like stale crackers, or dairy products. As for getting rid of the food if she will not let you just throw it out. Maybe you could do a little at a time. Or make a list of some of the things on top of freezer or in front of shelves then go out and by good ones to replace the bad ones. Or maybe you could talk her into "giving it away" to those less fortunate then seeing that it goes to the trash not at her house instead but buying some of the same food that is good and help her give it to a local food closet. If she sees that it helps others then maybe she will be able to give them other things that are around that she is not using. Depending on her age and mental ability to remember you may be able to do this with out her getting upset or staying upset for long.

Hi N.,

It sounds like you have a good relationship with your MIL, except where food is concerned. Personally, I think if you just empty her fridge and pantry, she is going to freak out on you. I recommend you AND YOUR HUSBAND sit her down TOGETHER and talk to her. Let her know that she either lets you help her clean out her food supply or your children (and your entire family) are NOT allowed to eat at her house. Period. Let her know that the safety and health is your family is your priority. You mentioned that she thinks throwing alway stuff is a sin. If she is religious, then approach it from the angle that the Lord would not want her or her family eating bad or expired food. Just a thought. I think if you and your husband share with her the health risks and that no one in your family will be eating at her house (no more dinners there either) she may listen to you. Family dinners are important and if she realizes that you and husband mean business, hopefully she will cooperate. But remember, you have to stick to what you say. Good luck.

I'm a little fuzzy with your description above as to whether or not you are living with her or not. If you moved into her place and she is living someplace else, but still has things in this house that she wants to keep, I'd probably do my best to honor her wishes. However, I'd box everything in the pantry up and put it in the garage. And since you need to use the fridge, then maybe ask her to move what she wants to keep to her place and toss the rest. If she's living with you, then ask for a couple shelves in the fridge for just your stuff and make sure you make and dish up all the meals for you and your family.

If she lives elsewhere, I'd just make sure you pack food/snacks/drinks for your kids if she is to watch them. If you don't trust that she'll use only your food, then I wouldn't bring the kids over w/out parental supervision.

I don't think having a talk will fix this and just throwing things away, since they don't really belong to you doesn't work either. I have somebody in my family who hoards things and saves way old food. I know it's a generational thing. If you didn't grow up with much and you didn't ever waste a thing, it's a hard thing to shake...throwing away graham crackers was probably unheard of. As a parent, your job is to make it clear how things go with your kids, if she can't do that for your kids, then she doesn't get to be alone with them.

The person in my family who is this way... well, I don't like that the fridge is filled with sour cream that is 3 years old, but it's their fridge and their choice, but when I visit I just don't eat at their house. And I pack food for the kids.

Good luck!