"Morning Delight"

Updated on July 18, 2008
S.S. asks from Cleveland, OH
10 answers

Hi Mommas

I have written a couple of requests in the past, and got a lot of great responses, Now I have a new one, I really could use some tips on how to potty train a 3 year old that is not able to talk. He had severe behavior problems in the past year, but now he is on medication and that problem is solved, but I still have the potty training problem. He can find other ways of telling me what he needs, and can understand some of what I say, but potty training isn't going so well. He does not like to wear a dirty diaper and will take it off right away if it is soiled, thats why I'm afraid to open his bedroom door in the morning because I never know what I'm going to find! Sometimes it's clean, sometimes there's just one pee puddle, and sometimes it looks like the chimp exhibit at the zoo! I have tried to sit him on the potty chair, we have also tried sitting him on the toilet, but I just can't get him to stay still long enough to do anything on it! It was so much easier with my daughter, all I had to do, was keep her busy with reading her stories while she was sitting on the potty, and give her lots to drink, and once she did her first tinkle and I cheered, she grabbed the concept. But that tecneke is not working for my son, any ideas that maybe I have not thought of would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for the advice, it is greatly appreciated! Unfortunately, we have already tried having my husband take him into the bathroom with him in the past, but he didn't grab the concept, but we will keep trying it as he gets older. Maybe I will also look into the books that were suggested by a couple of the moms. He starts preschool in the fall, and being that he is considered a "special needs child", they do not expect him to be PT, when he starts, and they will work with him on it, which is great!

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S.E.

answers from Cleveland on

Toilet Training in Less Than A Day (Mass Market Paperback)
by Nathan Azrin

http://www.amazon.com/Toilet-Training-Less-Than-Day/dp/06...

Worked for my 3 year old son. The authors developed the method for severely mentally retarded adults who still did not use the potty. Then they realized that it worked for kids too.

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S.K.

answers from South Bend on

WOw.. took my words... My son is 4 and is autistic but he is very smart but cannot speak we are also having that same problem.. he wears pull ups and as soon as he goes he wants me to change him, (walking me to the chaning table or getting another pullup) but I have come to find he WILL NOT go if he doesn't have his pull up on (we recently discovered this b/c of swimming and taking off the pull ups for it) he won't pee in the pool, he will whine till we take him out and he will end up peeing in the grass but it has helped some b/c he won't pee in the new underwear I bought him, problem is he won't pee on the toliet either.. when he has to go.. he grabs a pull up and cries till I put it on him so he can go to the bathroom.. I am very curious to see your respones b/c I hope they can help me also

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T.M.

answers from Terre Haute on

Don't have much in the way of advice for the training but thought of an idea for the mess. Put his pj's on backwards at night. Then hopefully, you can get there before the uh, poop hits the fan! haha Good luck, Shannon G.

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C.F.

answers from Indianapolis on

My husband showed him how he does it over and over again. We also have a sticker chart up in the bathroom which is a great motivator for going potty. If he can understand what YOU are saying that actually may help!!

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E.W.

answers from Cleveland on

There is no rule that says that every child has to be potty trained by 3. My youngest son (out of 4) was different and had speech delay issues. I did not push him until he was ready. I tried to start a couple of times but could tell he wasn't ready. This is a great thing for Dad to help out with for obvious reasons. He was not trained until 4 and it was easy. I just waited for him to be ready. If you have already had challenges with your son I would guess he is not ready. He will let you know. ANd girls are different than boys. Most girls are developmentally ready for most things at an early age. Psychologists are now saying that boys are not ready to start school until 6 -7 years of age. A good book to read for moms who have boys is Boys Adrift by Leonard Sax and TheMind of Boys by Michael Gurian.Us mothers need to learn more about our boys psychologically and physiologically. A lot of women don't realize how to connect with their boys and the lasting effect it has on them going into adulthood. I have 3 boys (25,15, and 10) and one girl age 13. I made many mistakes with them and wish I could change the way I did things in the past. I have learned so much and am still being "tested" every day with new challenges but these books have helped me a lot. ALso Dr James DObson has a book about Bringing up our Boys. Good luck to you.

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M.H.

answers from Cincinnati on

If you are familiar with the cataloge "Leaps and Bounds" or "One Step Ahead" you might check out the "potty watch". I have a little girl with down syndrome and her biggest delay is speech. The potty watch really jumpstarted the potty training process. We also just recently started using a "potty pager", which is meant to stop bedwetting. A little more expensive, but seems to be working for me and is highly recommended by MDs and therapists.

God Bless!

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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

Sometimes boys need more "fun and games" than the little party after they go. Sitting and reading doesn't interest him but it did your daughter. Watching Daddy will help--if your not already doing it have him follow dad into the bathroom and watch him pee. Other things that I have heard help little men: Putting a can in the potty (like a coffee can) this will make noise when he pees and make him want to pee again. (I personally did not try this one). We used cheerios as targets. I gave my son a step stool and he liked to aim at the cheerios. (Daddy showed him how and he wanted to be as good as daddy!) There are, or use to be, "sink targets" you could buy. My mom used them with my brothers. You drop them in, they are like paper, when you pee on them, they sink. You have to put them in right before they go though b/c they eventually sink on their own. Make it a consistent trip to the bathroom, and don't fight or force him to go. Explain to him that poopy goes in the potty not everywhere else, and so does pee.
A special reward if he goes might work for him, though it did not work with my son---he quickly figured out that if he wanted his reward he had to go on the potty, if he didn't want it he wouldn't go.
Another technique I used with my son, that may or may not work, is that I had him clean up his own messes. This sounds mean but it kind of helped. If he pooped his pants he had to take his diaper off, throw it away and get a new one out. When he was in underwear I showed him how to rise them out and walk them to the laundry room. He then had to redress himself. (Which he HATED to do.)
HOpe something here helps :) Best of luck...I hate potty training ;)

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B.S.

answers from Dayton on

It sounds like you have multiple issues here. The best advice I can give you here (especially about potty training) and on just about any topic concerning the proper raising of children can be found on the website www.rosemond.com . I have four children ranging in age from 5 to 20 and I can tell you, his advice is priceless. Subscribe to the website and I promise that your life will be amazingly easier and your whole family will be happier. I PROMISE.

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S.F.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Is there something that he is really excited about or attached to?

My three year old comes and goes with potty training. He is candy crazy. I never let him have sweets (or rarely I should say). He gets a huge sugar rush and becomes very excited and uncontrollable. He knows he gets sugar very rarely. Thus, I promised him a sucker anytime he goes poo on the potty. My girlfriend would give her son three M&M's everytime her son went to the potty. She started giving M&M's when he would sit down. She would reward additional M&M's anytime he pee'd and poo'd. As he became more consistent, he would only get candy if he did something on the potty. Then he became very successful and sitting and pee'ing, and poo'ing was harder to train. Then she only rewarded candy for poo on the potty.

My four year old has a cognitive and speech delay, so I understand part of what you are explaining with the difficulty in getting your point across and keeping his attention with you and others. My 4 year old has been partly trained and then reverts. The last time really helped. I've tried candy, ice cream, movies, take out food, toys, cake, etc. What worked this last time is letting him wear big boy underwear. He got to pick out his favorite characters. I would only let him where Power Rangers, Transformers or Baseball undies when he did what he was supposed to on the potty.

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A.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

I have 3 boys and potty training hasn't been easy with any of them. My 11 year old is autistic and started potty training at the age of 6 in school. My almost three year old doesn't talk and I am going to start potty training him when he is closer to 3. You can use pec's (picture exchange cards). Try taking a picture of the potty or toilet you want him to use. You also are going to have to get to him before he gets up. I tried the new pull ups that let the child feel when he is going. My son didn't like them because of the cool sensation. I think he will do better with them once he hits closer to 3. I also got him to pee in the toilet once before his bath. He doesn't like to sit on the big toilet, it scares him. I was told to try sitting him backwards facing the back of the toilet to hold on better. Hope some of these Ideas works. Good luck.

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