More Potty Training Help

You may need to keep asking her if she needs to go more often, and even say 'let's go and potty' for awhile yet. It's so easy for them to just go in the underwear. As far as throwing it out, that's up to you, but I had cloth diapers in the 'old days' when my first kids were little and we had to reuse them and wash them out so it can be done as messy as it is. I would just be calm and stick with asking her and taking her more often for awhile yet, and even just take her in if she says no maybe to see if she can go.

She's not even 3! Take a deep breath and step back mama. She doesn't sound like she's doing it to be defiant or because she is lazy-she's still very young and very young children have accidents. That's reality. You are right you can't punish her for having an accident.

But you have got to get over letting it "absolutely infuriates (you) to no end". She is young and young children get distracted very easily and it's easy for them to miss the signal their body gives them. And she is still learning to recognize those feelings and how quickly she needs to get to the potty. That's a lot for a little one. This is a huge milestone to get accomplished and it doesn't happen overnight or even in a few months sometimes. Make sure you have supplies in the car as well because she will very likely have an accident at one time or another while you are out and about.

And she may not be dry at night until age 5 or 6 so be ready for that as well.

Just look how much easier it will be with baby #2 since you've been there done that!

I trained my girl last summer at about the same age as yours and accidents for months is NORMAL! That's why they are called accidents. I noticed mine had more (two in a row) if something really exciting or engaging was happening and she just didn't want to stop whatever it was to go to the bathroom OR if I was engaged in something and wasn't consistent with reminding or reading her cues. I would say no to punishment BUT completely okay to have her help you clean up a mess. Not to shame her but like with any accidental mess (spilled drink, paint,etc) she should be taught to take responsiblity for cleaning it up. Good Luck. She will grow out of accidents, she hasn't been doing it for very long in the scheme of theings. Oh! Mine stopped having accidents about the time she could go all night with a dry pull up. Just an observation.

You've had so many good responses already. I want to encourage you. You're doing a great job. I don't think she's being defiant at all, she's just being a toddler. I would not punish her. Just continue to encourage her. When you put her to bed at night, after a day with no accidents, tell her how proud you are of her. When she tells you she has to go potty, be really excited about it. My daughter will be 3 in a few weeks and she's been potty-trained for a year. It took a good month before she was no longer a ticking timebomb in public, and three until I could really call her potty-trained. Only after six months or so did she consistently tell me she had to go. I cannot tell you how many accidents she had during those first six months. She still has accidents... there is a lot going on in a three-year-old's world and she's not paying attention until it's too late. You are still going to have to ask your girl if she has to go potty, pay attention to the last time she went and push it if you know she's due. My daughter is pretty "regular" so if she hasn't pooped by her normal time, I'm asking.

As far as wasting money, sometimes we threw the underwear away, sometimes not. When I think of all of the money we've saved on diapers, I don't mind a bit throwing away a pair of undies here or there.

Stick with it. Be patient. She'll be fine as long as you encourage her. You're doing great, seriously.

I feel your pain my number 5 child was 3 at the end of May and is dry at night and naps but for some reason unbeknown to me she refuses to wear underwear and has accidents a few times a week so I have resorted to pull ups that she can change herself if she pees in them she almost always poops on the potty. So for now she uses the cheap pull ups from WalMart and I don't throw away any undies. I have decided that when she wants ti wear her cool undies and keep them clean she will or when this pack of pull ups is gone and the store does not have any more she will be a real big kid and go on the potty. as side note my first took about 6 months to potty train number 2 2weeks and number 3 about 3 months number 4 about month so they are different. Good luck to you!
J. O

I wouldn't punish but you might try having her help you clean her poopy pants. My son was resistant to pooping in the toilet and had no problems with me cleaning his stinky pants in the toilet and eventually I decided I was going to have him start helping me clean them, we did it together and I told him he would he helping to clean up his mess next time too. Guess what after so much frustration it never happened again, apparently made an impression on him to have to get his hands dirty too. If I had known I would have done it long before I did. Not sure how helpful this is with other little ones but it worked for my oldest when nothing else would.

Hello L.,

When we began training our son, we went with a three-day training program. It worked wonders!! My advice to you is, do not let her drink anything after 7 PM, and make her go before bed. The program also suggested waking 'em up about 30 minutes after they go to sleep, (but of course, that's totally voluntarily...we didn't do that). Also, wake her up about 30 minutes before she normally wakes up to go. See if these help with her at night. For nap, do the same about making her go before she goes down.

If you'd like, I can send you the program so you can get more ideas. It should help you with all the other issues. All I need is your email address, (it's in PDF file). Just send me a message in my outbox.

I know it's not easy! Hang in there!! ls

My daughter will be 3 at the end of this month has been potty trained since February. She can stay dry overnight about 5 nights a week, but still has an accident during the day every once in awhile. I figure it's just something she will outgrow at this point. I don't like the mess, but I try not to get frustrated because I really don't think she's doing it to annoy me. The only time it bugs me is when we put her in a pull-up at bedtime (which we don't always do since she stays dry most of the time), and then I will tell her to go potty before we get in bed to read and snuggle, and then she will pee in her diaper and then tell me she went. I know she's using it as a stalling tactic for bedtime. Grrrr. Or sometimes because she's not wanting to get back out of bed. I usually remind her that she needs to tell me she has to go instead of going in the diaper and I sometimes do get frustrated with her in those instances. Hang in there!

I really think what you are describing is pretty normal behavior. My son has been potty trained for 8 months now (day and night) and does a great job, but he has had a day or two (very few and far between) where I think he is just too busy to worry about breaking for the potty. We just always have a calm conversation about how "next time you just need to tell me and we will go in the toilet, right?" He's only had 2 or 3 days like this since he has been truly trained, but it seems to happen several times in that day and then he is usually back on track the next day. It's all part of the deal...sorry I don't have better advice than to just hang in there and continue with your consistent routine. I definitely don't think you should punish her still. I doubt that her intent is malicious.

Don't worry Mom, two of mine were past their 4th birthday, I swear to God I thought I'd be slapping a diaper on the kid just before he walked across the stage to get his high school diploma! But guess what, he graduated Wednesday completely potty trained, and so was EVERY OTHER child in his class of 330! It''l happen, just follow her lead, I wish I had!

I definitely do not think she is being defiant. My son will be 3 in 2 weeks and he has been fully potty trained for a few months now. However, if he is very engrossed in an activity and having fun, he will occasionally have an accident. They're very young and sometimes they probably underestimate how bad they need to go because they're busy and having fun. I would not worry about it one bit. Just remind her she needs to let you know when she has to potty and remind her where her potty should go (IN the potty). I'd ask her on a fairly regular basis if she needs to go potty. Like every half an hour or so. She'll eventually stop having accidents. I really wouldn't stress about it. Good luck.

From my reading of your post, this is all entirely normal and exactly what most of us moms go through. My kids are 5 and 4 and have each had accidents at least a year after training. It happens. I think you all are doing well and should just keep encouraging her to go every couple of hours. Good luck!