More like "Terrible 3S??"

Wow! I'm so glad you posted this. My mother-in-law and neighbor both keep acting like my daughter is "abnormal" because of her tantrums. Funny thing is, they are actually beginning to get a lot better. I keep saying, she is three and it's perfectly normal. She just turned three at that. Obviously I do not condone the behavior but I am so tired of feeling like I'm having to stick up for her when so many other kids are the same way. Things do seem like they are getting better though. The tantrums are mostly when she is overly tired so we try to make sure she doesn't miss her nap but sometimes we cannot control it. Anyway, I'm glad to know I am not alone.

You didn't know that there are terrible two's & three's.

Sometime's I think the threes are the worst. They are trying harder & harder to become independent little people, and they can only accomplish so much.

Just keep working with him. Try your best to help him communicate what it is he wants.

We tell our daughter we don't listen to wines. To talk in a big girl voice if she wants something. She takes a moment to compose herself and everything is fine.

Good luck.

It's a challenging age for sure, for both of my kids it was worse than two. There's a book in the Gesell Institute series called "Your Three Year Old: Friend or Enemy?" I think that says it all right there! That book was my bible for the entire year my older son was three. Hang in there....

MY daughter just turned 3 at the beginning of the month adn we are going through the same things. I am so fustrated, for months people have been warning me about the terrible 3's (because my daughter is always so well behaived) and ohhhh were they right. I don't even feel like my daughter is the same person! She has always been very independant, and very vocal. But now she has become rude, uncooperitive and flat out a handful. I wish this year would end! I really don't have any advise for you, but know that your not alone! The only thing that I have done was be sure that i enforce what I say. I tell her "if you do THAT again were going home" even though it ruins my afternoon too, I really have to take her home. Shes learning, but its hard. Good Luck!

Dear Robyn,

Hang on there, he is probably a slow maturer, is that a word? The best thing that you can do is not to make a big thing out of the tantrums. Maybe he suddenly doesn't like all the activity and lighting and people in Target. I don't go into a certain grocery store because the lighting is too bright and I have a hard time concentrating in there. ...and I am a grown up. Maybe it is just too much stimulation. He is a little kid, he won't have tantrums all of his life, we hope, that is. Have you noticed that some adults have them regularly? Yikes.

For a while, warn him when something that you think might upset him is going to happen, then just as it is getting started, warn him again. Ask if he would like to stay home, or go to Target, I don't know. But, just try to get into his baby mindset. He is learning, teach him. Sincerely, C. N.

I hate to say it, but my daughter was the same way. She'll be 4 next month and she still has tantrum's, but what child doesn't. Just give it some time and they will become less frequent. I know it's embarassing. If they do it in public, you or your husband can take them out to the car until they calm down. When my daughter saw she wasn't going to get extra attention and she started losing out on doing things she let up a bit. Good luck!

Your description sounds like my son, even up to my husband taking things to work (he's also a teacher). We have to sneak things out of the house if he won't give his permission, then sneak it back in. Anyways, he also skipped 2's for 3. I think what is going on is he is trying to exert some independence and trying to find out how far his limits will be. Sometimes my son's fits will be daily for a week or so, sometimes a day or 2. The relief in it all is that if you stay consistent, although tiring, he is likely to go back to "normal". I also find that my son brings home behaviors from daycare to try out that don't fly with us. Again I think he is just exploring and developing his personality more. What is good to know is that these fits are usually saved for my husband and I, and sometimes daycare. With grandparents and babysitters he is loving and well mannered. My mom tells me every stage has its challenges, and laughingly (lovingly?) tells me to just wait until the "fearsome fours!" Good luck.

D. B.

Holy COW...I honestly thought I was reading a request I posted earlier in the month. I had to check the name. It's amazing how they can make our blood boil. We too try to stay consistant and it's one of the hardest things I've had to do. Same as the last comment, I don't know that I have advice, but (too bad for all us parents), it's nice to know we're not alone though. I can tell you what a friend said the other night. Her six year old daughter did it and then was pretty good at 4 and 5 and now...she's back to wanting independence. Same thing all over again. Aren't we lucky. I have sunk to soap in the mouth with my son. He thinks he is the parent and tells US what to do. He seems better this week, but we still have 7 months left until he turns 4. Plus I started working this year which has been really really hard for him. He will start school in the fall. Not only will that help him socially, but now I can go to the teacher and find out what is normal and what is out of control.
We have a time out rug. We are taking away so many privileges and leaving stores, resaurants, and homes of friends and families. I suppose one of the best things we can do is stay calm, don't make threats we won't follow through with and REALLY mean what we say. It's so hard and though it's rough, it's great to hear our children are normal. I really hope things smooth out for you and your household. Keep us posted on any new ideas. Obviously there's a world of three year olds out there whose parents could use any advice.

A friend of mine has a plaque that says "anyone who says the 2s are terrible, never had a 3 year old"

Three is a hard age for me, my youngest of 3 just turned 2 a week ago and I'm already dreading his third birthday. It's tough and it's completely NORMAL. Just be consistant with rules and discipline. Also be sure to pay attention to him and catch him being "good". Encourage the good behavior...I'd say praise it, but sometimes that goes too far.

Good luck - 4 is a little better, but I've found that I really like 6! :)

You are not alone! My son turned 3 last August and behaves the same way. I am not sure what causes it but I know it is just a phase. I do not give in to his fits and they are finally starting to mellow, it just depends on how tired he is. Hang in there, it won't last forever.