Hi L.,
I understand what you're going through. It's so hard. When my oldest was small he had severe colic & NEVER EVER slept - from about 2 months until 8 or 9 months old. I saw the sunrise & set every stinkin' day & looked like a zombie most of the time. It was horrible. I cried more than he did at times. We ended up letting my son 'cry it out'. But If he cried more than 20 minutes or so I'd go in & soothe him. I don't believe in letting a child cry for any longer than that if necessary. Does he have a lovey? (stuffed animal, blanket??) Have you tried playing lullabyes to get him to sleep? What about reading to him while he's laying in bed or come up with a special bed time routine - bath, story in bed, rub his back with music playing & make sure he has his lovey.
There's obviously something wrong for him to be crying that long about going to bed. Is there a special night light you can get? Maybe even try keeping him up a bit longer - why not? he's staying up crying all night, why not keep him up & make him more tired to sleep through?
We've put up glow in the dark stars on my boys' ceiling, they have a special night light, and a small fish tank w/a VERY low light on it that i leave on as well. My little one prefers stories & someone rubbing his back til he's off to sleep, while my oldest not only likes stories, but nice calming music. What about a glow worm? He can squeeze it & it lights up for him?
You need to be firm & set limits. Make sure you try to find out what's going on. I know he's still so small but you need to look for triggers for his actions. Is it the dark? Are there noises he may hear that frightens him? It's so hard at this age. I completely understand.
Does he climb out of his crib? I didn't understand that part ... I'd lower his mattress if that's the case! What about the crib accessories? There's the light/sound ocean thing that straps to the crib, so if he wakes up, he can push it, it plays nice music & the fish move & stuff & he's old enough to push a big button to keep himself busy w/o calling you. It may take a few times until he gets it but he will.
sometimes they just need a distraction. I'd still get some type of light up sound object that even if you run in to press it (some come with a remote so youdon't even have to go into the room) & still let him cry it out, maybe the lights in the dark & the soothing sounds will eventually stop him from crying.
The other option I can come up with is talk to his Pediatrician. Explain exactly what's going on & ask for their opinion as well. I LOVE my kids pedi! He's the best & I ask him questions about EVERYTHING!!! And he's very sympathetic & understanding, which is nice.
Good luck & God bless
Remember that you're doing your best & that this is ONLY a phase. You'll get through it, I promise.
- C. B.