Mood Swings

This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me at all. If you don't mind me asking, why did he want you to get pregnant right away? If he has two boys, he should know that a pregnant woman is going to have mood swings. What happened to the mother of his first two children? Did he break up with her too? I would evaluate this relationship and see if it's worth saving to you. Just from the information in this request, he sounds like he is controlling and may not be the right guy for you. If you think he is, I would just have an honest conversation with him and ask him to be patient. After all, you won't be pregnant forever. Ask him to point out (in a nice way) when he thinks you are having an attitude and help you work it out or just remove yourself from the situation. I don't know the whole story, but be completely honest with yourself to see if this is a situation you want to continue to be in. If not, get out now before it gets worse.

Mood swings are par for the course. It sounds to me like he's had it very easy in the relationship area and is controlling as well. The ultimatum he gave you is beyond immature, is this really the kind of person you want to raise your children with?

This guy seems a tad controlling. TRUST ME you don't want that relationship anyway. Seriously consider what you want out of an ideal relationship and think about how much work it would be to make this an ideal relationship. In My Opinion a guy who's not supportive of you when you are pregnant with his child won't be supportive of you (God Forbid) if you ever got sick or were in some kind of accident (I hope neither of those ever happens to you.)
I would tell him all of this as well. It's not a relationship if you can't be honest with each other. The mood swings will go away when the pregnancy hormones are out of your system. They will come back for menopause, and you should be your wonderful self for the rest of your life. See what he says about that. Good luck and Happy Wishes!

Mood swings are a major part of pregnancy, the body is getting use to all the changes and one way of coping with those is through mood swings. This guy should know that since he already has two boys. What worries me is the fact that he thinks it is appropriate to threaten your relationship. My advice is that the both of you should seek counseling together if you really want this relationship to work.

I don't think there is anything you can do about normal hormonal mood swings during pregnancy. They are to be expected and your fiance needs to accept that. If he is threatening to end your relationship because you are experiencing one of many pregncacy-related 'symptoms', then it sounds like this is his problem. Remind him that he wanted this pregnancy too. Just don't let him take away the joy of carrying a life inside you!
I had more mood swings when I was pregnant with my son (my second child) and my hubby got irritated with me and told me I was mean sometimes, but he never threatened to leave me. He just had to remind himself that I was pregnant with his first son and some thing were out of my control.

you have to realize that from the little bit of info you have given, it sounds like he says jump and you say how high. He wanted to get pregnant, so you did.....he says change attitude or he's gone.....this is not a partnership it is a dictatorship. Not to be harsh, but you have made things more complicated than they needed to be. I am a firm believer in Marriage, then sex, then children.... If the world would follow this example first they would have less complicated relationships. Don't get me wrong they cna still be complicated, but less.... I suggest premarital counseling. You are probably cursing at me or laughing at me. That is fine, but if you both commit to pre marital counseling it can only benefit, not hurt. If you don't go, it will only get worse. Communication is the key. marriage and family is about grace, mercy, give and take. My definition of love is putting the needs of the other person first. If you and he live by this you meet each others needs. I do not say this is judgement, I feel for you and so many others out there....I just hope that you do try to take this with an open heart and mind.
prayerfully
tommieanne

I think it is time to reevaluate your relationship. He doesn't sound very supportive. Remember the only important things in your life are yourself and your children, everything else is optional! I don't think I would be planning a wedding anytime soon,if at all. Try to get to know him a little better and if there is a bit of a doubt, get out! I spent years in a miserable marriage, raising 4 kids on my own is a hell of a lot easier than putting up with an abusive and controling jerk. You might try some counseling for the both of you considering no matter what you are now tied to this man for the rest of your life. If you have one doubt please don't postpone the inevitable, it only gets harder the longer you stay and the more kids you have. I hope I haven't offended you and I do wish you happiness and wellness for you and your family!

No offense, but tell him to grow up! When women are pregnant they are moody, it's just the way life is.
By the time I was into my last two months of pregnancy, I couldnt even stand to hear myself breathe let alone trying to deal with someone else!
Your hormones are changing and quickly, you have a child growing inside you.
For him to say something like that when you are carrying the child he asked you to have "right away" is extremely selfish. At least that's my opinion!
E

L. if he isn't understanding enough to realize that the mood swings are from you being pregnant you need to tell him to get out and don't let the door hit him in the butt. He sounds like a real jerk and you'd be better off without him. He should be helping you get through the mood swings by correcting whatever is causing them at a certain time. He should be treating you like the mother of his child with respect understanding love and awe. You are providing him with something he really wants that he can't achieve on his own. Instead, he is acting like a jackass.
If he is threatening to leave when you are pregnant with his child that he wanted, what will he be like in the future? He needs to grow up and act like a man and father instead of a selfish little boy that runs away when things aren't perfect for him.

Good Luck Hun. You need it.

Hi L.,
I am sorry that you rush into relationships, it is so much better to take your time.....
I have been married for 17 years now with my only and first partner, just because I did not get involved with the first one that wanted me pregnant.
Now, I know, you can't go back, so let him know that when you are pregnant, hormons make you change moods, tel him to go to the docor with you and let the doc, explain him, or ask your doctor for those booklets for daddys, they explain the father how to take care of you when you are pregnant and also why this happens, it is NOT YOUR FAULT!!!! You are pregnant and it is normal to change moods and to be sensible, very sensible, he should take good care of you!
I hope everything ends up well for you and your baby, enjoy the preganancy and relax, it not good for the baby if you are nervous or unhappy. Let him know that too! He should know some having 2 boys already.
Best wishes your way....
Mariana

L.:

"Recently met someone" and "he wants me to get pregnant right away", don't go well together. Did you not have a say in the matter, as you are the one carrying the baby? It sounds like, from what little you have described, this man has some control issues. Think twice before walking down the aisle, a third time!
A. L

Not to sound like a BI#*H, but what kind of person would tell you he wants you pregnant right away, and what kind of person would actually fulfill that order......especially when you "recently got together with a guy". I'm just thnking for one, why would you do that for someone you just go together with and not even know where the relationship is going.....I feel sorry for your unborn child, not for you......Sorry, that's how I feel. You should have thought twice before you got yourself into this one.

Well let's see here you have children already he has kid's you just recently met this guy and he wanted to get you pregnant RIGHT AWAY and now your getting married a 3rd time.I think it's time you take care of yourself and kid's. So what if you have mood swing's your pregnant,and if this relationship is as immature as it sound's then he's fooling ya.Take Care

I doubt this is going to get better any time soon. I'd seriously consider leaving him on your own terms. And go after him for child support. I wish you the best of luck.

Umm tell him it's not that you have an attitude you are pregngnt! You are not doing it on purpose that it's hormones and it is not something you can control, and as you get older the pregnancy is harder and the hormomes get more crazy. Just becasue you didn't have these symtoms before doesn't mean you won't have them this time, every pregnancy is different and he needs to grow up, it sound like to me he's more scared of making a commitment and is just using excuses, no offence.

L.,
I don't know this man and what you said was very limited, but he sounds like a jerk. I guess you could talk to your OB about what to do about mood swings, but if this man of yours had to create, nurish, care for, and give birth to another living human being he would keep his mouth shut. I hope you aren't prone to baby blues either, b/c you are going to need a different support system than he can offer. I wish you the best, but remember that all things happen for a reason. If he does end the relationship b/c of "mood swings" I believe he truly has other motives b/c he would wait out a pregnancy knowing that the end result is more precious than any other gift you could give him. I was a holy terror pregnant and my husband stayed around. We now have two beautiful children and he survived me. That man could too if he wanted to. If you need anyone to talk to, you can always contact me and I will listen. Sometimes it just helps to vent it out.

Try a little reverse psychology. It's normal for you to be moody, as you well know, esp. taking care of 4 boys already. Make an appt. to see your OB, and tell him that you want him to go and describe what he has observed. I'd call ahead and give them a heads up, if poss., but even if you don't you know that the doc is going to say you are perfectly normal. Sure doesn't sound like a very healthy, nurturing relationship - he is obviously not very committed to making this work. Do you really want your sons to believe that's how you should treat women?

One word Therapy. I was reading your request and you are 31 and talking like an immature 15 year old girl who's afraid her friends will talk about her behind her back. I would tell you to grow up emotionally you're 31 quit letting men walk on you and get yourself some therapy.

That sounds like a very unfortunate situation. Sit down with him and talk with him about how youre feeling. Remind him that this pregnancy is what he wanted and tell him that you cant help your mood swings, its a part of pregnancy, just like you cant help your tummy getting large. Tell him that you need his love and support right now. When you have a mood swing tell him to inform you that you are having one and try to talk it out. It will make you feel better and will help him be more supportive to your needs. Remind him that pregnancies are a crazy and emotional time for a woman and he should try to be more sensitive to your feelings. Also remind him that the pregnancy wont last forever and having occasional mood swings over the duration of your pregnancy is no reason to end a relationship. Communication is the key. Tell him how you feel. Good luck!
--S.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_mood-swings-during-pregnancy_...
You can have him read this.

My husband told me the same thing. We got together in May, I was pregnant and married by October so he really didn't know the real me cause my hormones were always in the way. I always told him that it was the pregnancy and the hormones that come along with that. They should understand, they did have a part in the whole pregnancy process. Good luck:)

My response is that if you find yourself getting online and asking other moms what to do, then he is not the guy for you. Tho I'm not sure if you're asking if you should stay with him or what to do about the mood swings. Personally, I believe every woman has mood swings, especially while pregnant. If he doesn't like it, maybe he should "switch sides" LOL.

Also, since you're putting yourself out there, I'd take a minute to ask yourself why you would get pregnant just b/c a guy told you to. Perhaps that is the bigger issue.

And one piece of advice I was told, when I kept going through boyfriends in college was this: If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten. You've been married twice already and your only 31. Just some input from another gal.

Good luck.

hi L.! i don't know if i really have any advice, but i was the EXACT same way when i was pregnant. i was never sick, hardly tired, just worn out and had an attitude from hell. everything bothered me and i let my husband know about it. along with everyone else. i don't know the way to "cure" it, but my husband would tell me the same thing about leaving if i didn't change the attitude. it didn't last the whole pregnancy, but during my 5,6, and part of the 7th month it was the worst. just relax and make sure you get plenty of rest and aren't too hot! i know that even when i'm not pregnant if i'm too hot, then i get anxious and somewhat bitchy! sorry i don't have much more advice...just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone cuz i was the same way! keep your head up and things will be ok with your pregnancy!
as for the control-freak boyfriend...good luck! did you want to get pregnant "right away" also...or just him?? please do what makes you happy and not other people! you have other children to worry about!