My son misses the kindergarten deadline by two weeks so according to the state he has to be evaluated and those findings be sent to the school's principle for a final decision as to whether or not he can enroll. Sebastian has been in preschool for 3 years, is taking violin lessons and wants to learn to read and write. He, without any pressure, wants to do exercises in this pre-K workbook I bought him. I really feel he is ready and his evaluation results were all average or above.
The principle told me that the school psychiatrist and her denied his enrollment because his IQ (while average) is not in the 90th percentile which the district requires. They are concerned that down the road his social ability will be compromised severely if they let him into Kindergarten now. I told her that this was very unfair and didn't agree with the results. She said that she understands my disappointment and even gets children who do not know their colors! That was like a slap in the face! I couldn't believe at how high the standard is and refuse to take "no" for an answer. I went to the state and county board of educations who do not get involved; I went to the neighboring district and now am looking at private schools. One of my options is a Montessori school. What do you think of them? Is it too unstructured? I have a 1 year old daughter who I do not plan on enrolling into a private school since she makes the deadline. I also don't plan on keeping my son in private school because I do feel that public school is a good learning experience for any child. Should I just put him in preschool another year? I'm so afraid he will get bored with the same curriculum.
I think you should just continue what you are doing and teach him what he's willing to learn at home. No need to rush! If he wants to move ahead in some areas, let him. Kids learn so much better when they are doing it because they want to.
I don't have experience with Montessori or the decision about overriding the bday deadline. I will share that I am an early September bday baby, and some of my social struggles may have been due to my immaturity throughout school, compared to my peers. It was especially obvious during 8th and 9th grades. It can happen, no matter how academically gifted the child is. Correction: it can happen, especially how academically gifted the child is.
If you are interested in helping your son read, look up strategies for teaching him phonemic awareness and phonics at home. U.S. schools focus on these two areas for most early literacy programs. There are sight word lists available everywhere, too. When he understands the relationships between sounds and letters, writing will follow easily.
BTW, there is interesting research about teaching kids to read too early... the Swedes don't introduce letters until age 6 or so, and their literacy rate is well above the U.S.'s. It's worth checking out to set your mind at ease about following the deadline in the district and using reading strategies at home instead.
Good luck!
Just do what you can to keep him busy and enjoy another year with him at home before the craziness of school starts. I have a daughter that has a late August birthday and when it came time to enroll her in kindergarten I didn't know what to do everyone kept telling that she was smart and don't hold her back cause she'll do fine. So I enrolled her and have regreted it ever since although acdemically she is doing great she is in junior high school and is a honor roll student. Socially she is just not as mature as the other kids and struggles to fit in. It not that she's not outgoing, she very outgoing and friendly. To watch her go through this is heart breaking and if I had to do it all over again I would hold her back a year because holding her back 1 year is not going to make her any less smart.
I would let him stay in pre-school and get extra socializtion skills, because if he is showing a higher intelligence level the schools will, when he is in, rocognize this and put him in advanced placement areas. When this is the case alot of times if skills were not put in place to handle social aspects early on then they start to feel lonely and outcast by their peers. If they have strong social building blocks early on, it is easier even if they are smarter than the rest.
What's the hurry? It sounds like your son is doing great and I think the push to get him into Kindergarten so soon may do more harm than good down the line. I have been in education for over 10 years and have seen many parents struggle with the same dilemma. I can tell you that the ones who decided to wait were very happy with their decision and some of the ones that pushed for early enrollment have had regrets. Typically boys mature a bit slower than girls (I'm not implying at your son is behind at all). What I have found is that the boys who are on average "older" in Kindergarten seem to adjust much better and have much more success.
Just FYI, Kindergarten is not required in the state of Illinois. The reason for the age stipulation is because children do have to be 6 years old by the deadline to enter 1st grade. You may find many private schools that are willing to overlook the age requirement but if you are planning on transferring to the public school then my personal opinion is that you wait one more year so that you can avoid the transition to a new school down the line. Once your son is comfortable with his new friends and new environment you won't want to disrupt that with having to change schools.
All the best!
Besides the academics, there is the social part of school. I would not have pushed any of my boys ahead in school and one's bday is 9/17. Boys just mature socially slower than girls. Even a bright child can need that extra year for social reasons and there's nothing wrong with that. It's not going to hinder his development later in life, it will help.
More and more people are holding their boys back. Sometimes it's for social reasons and yes, sometimes it's for sport reasons. I have 2 with fall birthdays and they have kids in their class with spring and summer birthdays that were held back.
You've done everything you could to try and get him in early, I would just keep up the music lessons and enjoy having him home another year. I would not go to the added expense of enrolling him in a private school at this point. If he gets into the public school and you feel like he's not being challenged enough, that option will be available.
M.
I like the Montessori program my son is in very much. And, contrary to what you seem to understand, there is very much structure to the Montessori program.
I think it is wonderful that your son is so talented. But try to understand, there has to be a cut-off for enrollment somewhere. I think that sometimes waiting that extra time is very beneficial to the development of a child. Don't feel rushed or overwhelmed to get him into kindergarten.
What's wron with listening to the experts? They know by the tests if your child is ready or not. You, as the mom, are biased and could just don't understand how difficult it could be for him in school. Can you keep him in preschool another year? They should make an exception since the kindergarten turned him down. Don't take it as a negative, your child will be better off down the line being held back. If he then is doing well he can be retested at 1st or 2nd grade and moved up when he IS ready.
Relax, take a deep breath, and enroll him another year, you and he will be rewarded for it in the long run. Good luck!
My son (now in 2nd grade) has a Sept Bday. My husband and I went back and forth as to whether or not to test him. We enrolled him in a private Pre-K class that took him at 3yrs (instead of 4yrs) 1 year early, at the end of that year his teacher thought he was ready for K and that we should test him. We decided NOT to test. We kept him in Pre-K for the additional year. We thought about "down the road" - maturity levels- boys are slower than girls, puberity issues, going off to college before he is 18yrs old, etc. I have never regretted my decision. He is in the enrichment program at school - he is a happy 2nd grader!
Good luck!
Hi A.,
I won't repeat what the other posters have said, I'll just let you know what happened in our family. My brother was in a similar situation - he is probably the most intellectually advanced person I know (recently graduated a kineseology program and is off to a very selective, very prestegious grad program this fall) and was on the cusp of going into kindergarten early. My mom did decide to wait the extra year and let him be one of the older kids instead of one of the youngest. To this day, she swears it was one of the best decisions she ever made on his behalf. In his later grades it was such a boost to his confidence levels, the benefits far outweighed any waiting time. He never suffered from the delay or was "dumbed down" by waiting the extra year. There is so much you can do with your son educationally that doesn't have to be in a structured classroom, no need to rush things in this area.
MC
I wouldnt rush him just because you feel he is academically ready. Put him into a challenging preschool for one more year. There is a place called fast trac (not sure of spelling) that has an academically challenging preschool. My daughter bday is Aug 25th she will be 4 this year. So I am in a different scenario than you, I dont know if we should hold her back or let her go ahead, I kind of wish her bday was after the cut off so I didnt have to make such a tough decision. I am sure your son is very bright and maybe he will be a leader since he will be a bit older when he starts kindergarten. Dont forget there are enrichment classes in schools if he's flourishing in certain classes, so boredom shouldnt be an issue.
I've been there. My son has a September birthday, but extremely bright. I put him in a Montessori program at 1 and a half, then a 3Pre at 2, 4Pre at 3, and then made the decision to have him attend Kindergarten at 4. He was reading and writing at 3 years old. He turned 5 while in Kindergarten. For three years he built wonderful relationships with his friends and teachers in preschool and Kindergarten. He also grew so much academically and socially. I could not send him to another year of preschool. He was too advanced for it.
However, my husband and I noticed that his classmates were all a head taller and that the oldest kid in the class was the natural leader of the group. My son was also a leader due to academic abilities, but something was missing. He was the youngest and the other children did respond to that. The other kids seemed to run faster, throw farther, and just acted older.
It worked out for our family because a lot of the kids in the Kindergarten were transferring to other schools and only a few stayed to continue with the school It was a perfect time to make the move to a new school. We had our son repeat Kindergarten, not preschool. Yes, he was academically ahead, but we have seen him grow so confident and he is having a great time in school. His printing has gotten so neat and controlled. His reading has actually improved due to the extra skill practice. He is one of the tallest, he throws the ball far, and he is more mature.
I don't think he would of loved sitting in a desk this year. He still got to be his age, but continue learning.
Consider two years of Kindergarten instead of preschool for your son. The one piece of advice I was given was to make sure the Kindergartens are in different schools, so his friends in the first Kindergarten don't move up and he is still repeating. Our son was told he was in Sr. Kindergarten this year. His best friend from his old Kindergarten is being homeschooled this year, so there is no confusion for my son. What a difference one year made.
A., if you want to talk, email me at ____@____.com I know how difficult this is. I had great support from both schools before we made the decision. I actually talked to both Kindergarten teachers at both schools before deciding.
Look at great Kindergarten programs in the area, not preschools. Private school will accept him and then in a year, enroll him in the public school in Kindergarten. My son had half day Kindergarten the first year and then went all day this year.
Good luck!
