Monster Problem

Updated on August 12, 2008
M.C. asks from Glendale, CA
11 answers

Hi Moms,

Please help me with this issue. I am sure that I am not the only one with this problem. My almost 4 year-old daughter started to be afraid of monsters a few months ago. It is so severe now, that she does not want to go to other parts of the house by herself. Not even daytime. We always need to go with her, which is tough when I have a 6 month-old hanging on my breast while breast-feeding. Can you picture that? :) I thought it would go away, but now my 2 year-old son is starting to act like that. So I desperately want to solve this problem. They used to be so brave. They walked into dark rooms and did not bother them. Now it is completely the opposite. How did you solve this problem? Any ideas?
Thanks:
M.

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G.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

One word, props. It's so hard because their imaginations are so vivid! When my daughters got into the monster/fear thing we created swords out of cardboard that they then decorated (mind you, this is 4 years apart from each other). Of course, I checked to make sure everything was all clear before bed too. Maybe if you guys did a check first thing in the morning and them they had a prop to be brave it would help?
All my best, G.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Wow, we just started the same problem with our 3 year old daughter. A month ago she started telling us she didn't like her room and made us take down all her art that was hung on the walls. Then she started telling us about the monsters in the room. Hers are confined to her room and only at night. We tried everything-a night light, not bright enough; one of those punch on globe lights hung right above her pillow, didn't shine light on the other side of the room; a flashlight, helps some. Finally we made monster repellant. We "looked up" the "recipe" online. I actually typed it on my computer in advance and then opened it while we "searched" for a recipe. We then combined water and lemon juice (because we "read" online monsters don't like lemon juice) in a spray bottle and we now spritz the parts of her room where the monsters are every night as part of the bedtime routine. It took a few nights but the repellant with a small lamp lit in her room at night have her sleeping through the night again.

Good luck!
K.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi, I think your kids are old enough for "weapons." Give them a flashlight and a "sword" or a spray bottle with magic potion in it or a bracelet with a magic shield or something you think they'll believe in. Or put one of those clapper lights in so they can turn on the lights easily. We had to sleep with the lights on for a few weeks but now she's on to different things. It's a phase, but a difficult one. It helps to give them the power to defend themselves, especially since they don't really believe you when you say ther's no such thing. Good Luck!

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N.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

When my son started believing that a monster lived in the closet I decided to take a direct approach. I said that if we could draw what the monster looked like, then it wouldn't be so scary. We ended up adding things that cracked us up, like big polka dot boxers. This was before Disney's "Monsters, Inc" movie and when I look back at the picture, it is almost identical to the character in the movie. By drawing the picture, it let him know that I wasn't discounting his fears, but was in an off handed way showing how ridiculous it really was that such a big fuzzy thing could actually live in the house without any of us seeing it. We hung the picture up in his room and turned him into a friendly thing instead of a scarry thing. It also gave us a chance for one on one time creating the picture. I also had an older boy and a baby.

Good luck!

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W.Z.

answers from Los Angeles on

Monica,
I have two thoughts. First of all, I don't think it's a coincidence that your daughter needs you when you are nursing. Might help to give her "special time" and talk about how she feels when you need to sit down and nurse the baby.

We had our kids make "monster catchers" They drew a "power animal" and hung it in their room before bed to chase the monsters away.

Good luck!!

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S.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son's only 2.5 year old; but, I've always found turning something into a game for him always works. You may want to plan it out (i.e. have someone watch over your 6 month old, come up with key phrases to repeat to them and have them repeat back that accomplish your intended outcome, etc). This kind of a game should probably have some empowering actions/statement (in a powerful voice) being made, maybe a search through your home, and an ending that sums up that there aren't any monsters anywhere in your house. When one of them gets scared you can remind them of the 'no monsters' game (or whatever you call it) then have your 4 year old and 2 year old play the game together. Then later, you can take it on the road with you where ever you go.

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B.B.

answers from New York on

Monster spray is the answer. Any spray will work, let it be a smell you like so they can spray it a lot. Sounds like she is trying to get your attention.

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P.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

get a spray can of something that smells good and put a label on that says monster spray and let her spray where she needs to get rid of the monsters. give her the power to get rid of those pesky monsters

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T.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have not had this problem myself but I have heard several moms talk about Monster Spray or Monster Repellant. I found this link for one such product called Boo-Be-Gone. It is also made with a lavender fragrance which smells good and has a calming aromatherapy effect. If the link doesn't work just cut and paste the URL into your search window. It could be worth a try.
Good Luck!

T. N

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

i used "Monster Spray" with my son when he did that. I took a trip to the 99cent store, bought a few scented room sprays & decorated them w/construction paper....ex : Monster Spray for the Bathroom, Monster Spray for the living room, etc.... i kept one in each room of the house RIGHT BY THE ENTRANCE to the room. everytime he wanted to walk in a room, he would just grab it, spray it, then enter the room. worked like a charm! (and your house smells nice, too!) p.s. when you buy the spray/decorate it, do it when they are in bed, so they don't catch on to the trick 8^)

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A.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

With my daughter watching, I wrote a note to all ghosts (monsters, in your case) telling them that they were not allowed in her room, and I signed it "Mommy and Daddy." We posted it on her door. She doesn't recognize all the words, but it worked. I just took it down after months of it being up and so far she hasn't noticed. When I first put it up, it was amazing how that tangible act immediately helped her to feel in control and I think she liked that we acknowledged her fear rather than dismissing it (which we had been doing before the day I wrote the note). Good luck, but in the meantime, at least she has a health imagination!

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