I'm sorry but I have a very difficult time understanding his money, my money. When your married you are a unit, a team, and all the money gets put together and together you make decisions on how to spend that money. In our 17 year marraige my husband and I have only had two disagreements about money. 15 years ago when we had our first child and money was tight, we agreed that neither of us would spend more than $25 without the others knowledge. It works for us.
On the other hand, a few of our friends have a his money/her money relationship and it seems like there are constant agruements, fights, and stress over financial matters. A close friend spent lots of money (on what most would consider unnecessary items) behind her husband's back and it was the major reason for their divorce.
In my opinion maxing out credit cards behind your spouses back is irresponsible and deceitful. This not only destroys your credit, but also damages his. It sounds like you've personally made the decision to file for bankruptcy. Yes, everyone makes mistakes, but what you need to focus on is fixing the mistake and taking steps that will prevent it from occuring again. What you need to go is sit down with your husband and discuss the best way for both of you to handle this situation, there may be a better way than bankruptcy.
Good luck to you and hubby. I hope you can work this out.