I think I was fine until my son was 9 or 10 months old. I was waiting for him to smile, roll over, sit etc and everything he learnt and did for the first time was amazing. He would walk with support and keep babbling. I enjoyed it a lot but I realized that in my mind I didn't want him to walk anytime soon , or for that first teeth to show anytime soon. Both didn't happen until he was a year old. And then he started 'not' looking like a little baby anymore and I was sad.
I realized my baby is not a baby anymore.. he was now a toddler.
After a couple months I was fine and loved everytime he did something new, started walking, his first words etc etc. And I thought it was just a phase where I felt so sad that he was growing up so fast. Until now. He is 20 months old now. As soon as he as hit the number 20 , I feel like he is almost a 2 year old now. He still babbles though he knows a lot of words. I have seen 2 - 2.5 year olds who talk very well, don't act like little babies anymore. They are little boys/girls not babies. My son is almost there. He is already running all around the house, has most of his teeth already, shows clear preference for his dad whenever dad is at home. he can tell M. what he wants to eat, how he wants it served or throw a tantrum if I do things any other way. Last year I was sad he was getting big so fast and this year I realize he has indeed grown big, he has a become a little person of his own. I have loved every phase, this phase is really nice too where he is trying to be independent etc but oh my gosh , where did my little baby go :(
So moms with older kids, can you please let M. know when(if ever) we moms will stop feeling sad about our babies growing up? Will every big milestone they reach, every birthday they celebrate make us sad and miss our little bundle we held in our arms?
I wonder if I am the only one to feel this way. My husband says he misses the little baby but he doesn't feel sad. He says he is waiting for him to grow some more so he can play with him. My husband loves sports , so no wonder he wants his son to grow up so he can teach him everything.
I on the other hand still keep thinking of the days we were discussing if we are ready to have a baby. And in a blink of an eye , our son is almost 2 years old. wow!
I am having a hard time accepting I will be a mom to a 2 year old very soon. Has anyone finally figured out how to stop time , I would like to do that ;)
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My kids are 8, 6, and 4...soon to be 9, 7, and 5.
I really don't like how fast it's all going. I think having my kids young I thought they'd always be little. Not so much. But I really do try and cherish every moment. If I stay sad all the time, I won't ever be happy and live for the great things going on today :).
I can relate to what you are saying....I can tell you it has been nothing but a pleasure to watch my 2 girls grow into the young lady's they are at age 13 and almost 9 yo. What makes M. sad is that I realize I only have a couple of years left with my 13 yo before she goes to college. My youngest daughter still often comes into our bed in the early morning and I know this will end shortly too. It seems to M. the older they are the faster time goes. I can't really say I miss the baby phase because we have replaced that with doing many fun family outings like going to the theatre, concerts and even dinner where we all enjoy great conversation etc. It was also great at our New Years Eve party that I wasn't chasing a 2 yo like my sister and SIL. Although I never minded when my kids were little I actually enjoy my self much more now that they are older. Vacations are actually vacations again if you know what I mean:)
The pride I feel in my girls has grown over time though and I did not think that was possible because I was very proud to show them off as babies too:).
I have 3 kids, ages 8, 6, and the 'baby' just turned 2. He's a holy terror; there will be no more kids.
On one hand, I LOOOOOOVE BABIES, and I'm sad he's 2.
On the other hand, as mentioned, he's a holy terror. I love him, but there has never been a worse child in the history of the world ;)
SO, I'm able to easily balance THAT out ;)
Also, my friends and siblings are still procreating, or will be in the near future. I squish on other people's babies for my baby fix... then give them back and be grateful for the 3 beautiful children I have!!
My husband and I feel like this. Although my husband is more like your husband. Pragmatic about the whole thing. My son just turned one right before Christmas. Talk about an 'omg, how the time flies' moment. You are aware of it but it hits you at different times and in different ways. I just remember to focus on enjoying my son in the moment but I also look forward to when I get my house back and to having adult children. I miss things like two hour dinners with my husband. It's all about life's stages and ages so make the best of it. I think bittersweet feelings are all part and parcel of being a parent.
Time for another!
I think my "sadness" about my first baby getting older lessened a) when I had my second baby and b) when I realized how absolutely wonderful it is to have someone who can dress themselves, feed themselves, wipe their own butt and entertain themselves. I am getting to focus on other things in addition to enjoying my kids, whereas before, the entire focus had to be on them, as they needed M. ALL the time (not bad, just reality!)
Start to renew your sense of happiness in other things, including yourself. Moms are so guilty (and we SHOULD do this) of throwing ourselves into our kids and forgetting about us and our husbands. Go get a pedicure, read a book, join a club, take a class!
You will relish those days of babyhood - but trust M., when you and your husband are sitting quietly at dinner with a glass of wine in hand, no baby yelling at you, you will think, hey, I could get used to this!
I had to stop nursing when my son was 13 months, and I was mortified. But, he must grow up, and no amount of sadness I feel will change that, so I must be happy!
- Mom to 7 year old and 14 month old, so I know how you feel!!!
As a mom to a daughter aged 8 and a son aged 5, watching them grow up and go of to school has been bittersweet. My 8 year old is a foot shorter than I am and is no longer a little girl. Yes, technically by age she is but by size and maturity alone she is not, completely. :( My 5 year old son, well he's autistic & nonverbal so he still has a few babyish things about him. However, he is going to be in kindergarten this fall and is emerging with a few more words added to his vocabulary. He is also very independent, so much so that he can get onto his school bus on his own, get into his car seat and start putting the straps on himself. I realize that is not huge to most moms that a 5 year old can do that but in our case it is a gigantic milestone.
Whilst it is bittersweet and very hard to watch our little ones grow up it is also fun and engaging for us as parents to see just how far they've come and how much they learn as time passes. I realize my .02 may not amount to helping out but I figured it's nice to hear another mom who feels she is also having difficulty.
I know what you mean. It hit M. a little hard too, esp since we are done having kids. I gave a good part of my baby stuff away to Goodwill this past weekend. I have a 15 mo old now, and it almost ripped my heart out to give away the swing that both my kids used. Same for the travel system. And the mobile. I have to stop thinking about it now or I will get teary. lol
You aren't alone!! My baby turned 5 last month, and I about lost it! Hubby blamed it on the pregnancy hormones, but I think it's more than that. I love watching him develop and go through each new stage in life, but at the same time, I'm sad to not see my baby any more. It's hard for M. to remember what a little cuddle bug he was before he bacame mobile.
I completely understand what you're going through. My son is almost 14 months and all I say lately to my husband is: "look how BIG he is" or "when did he become a little boy and no longer a baby" - it's sad. I miss the days when he was a baby, now he's a toddler and is so much more independent. The hardest thing for M. is every 3 months or so when I have to pack up all the stuff that doesn't fit him anymore. I cry every time. Everyone tells you how fast kids/babies grow up, but it is scary. I just try to be happy for each day, and each new thing he discovers and each new milestone. I had a REALLY hard time with it at about 10 months when he just abruptly decided he was done breastfeeding, I really miss that bond and closeness. sigh....
I feel the same way. My oldest will be three in about two weeks. He just started Moms day out this week. The first day I walked him to his classroom and he ripped off his coat, ran in and started to play. He looked up at M. and said " bye mom, have a good day!". I was glad that he felt secure enough to be a big boy and not cry but I didn't expect it to be so easy for him to see M. leave. It was a little bittersweet. He is getting to be such a big boy. Our second son is due next month so I get to do it all over again.
My son just turned 10...years old. I almost started bawling when my mom pointed out that he might be getting a little old for the whole Santa thing. Good grief, where did the time go??
I think all of us go through moments when we realize that our little ones aren't so little, that somehow they have blossomed from that tiny, helpless newborn who slept all the time (or not) to full-fledged human beings who walk, talk, and have their own opinions, likes, dislikes, etc.. But there is so much to enjoy along the way, and you have to remember to appreciate each stage of that little life while he's there with you because I have a feeling before we know it, they'll be grown and gone.
ahhh honey it doesnt get easier. My youngest is now 6. She is a first grader and on new years day lost her first tooth. Although all these things made M. happy (and sad) and I LOVE the young lady she is growing into I hate that she is getting big. Unfortunately I have instilled that in her as well so be careful. She was sad on her6th birthday because she wanted to stay 5 forever. She didn't want that 1st tooth to come out because that meant she was growing up. Although she has never been "a baby" -she has always worked very hard at being independant and able to do all the things her sister who is 2 years older than she is could do....yes this child did every single thing early,eat food,hold bottle, walk, talk, potty train, read,write,play sports, take ballet, you name it- it was done early including starting school.....she has always just been "little".Not in size either she is actually tall for her age but.... its hard to explain. She is still mommas girl (and daddys and everyone else for that matter)- loves to snuggle and hugs and kisses are given and recieved several times a day. My oldest will be 13 next month (gulp!) and I told him at 10- ok no more birthdays...you are now going backward so next birthday you will be 9 then 8 all the way back to 3 because that was my favorite age. Oh how I wish that were possible! I am a proud momma and adore my children and the teens then adults I am sure they will become but i to wish they could just stay little ;)
It never really stops. Part of you will always be excited for the new things, and part of you will always miss the baby. I have 3. My oldest will be 10 in may. THAT seems like a bg deal, I mean DOUBLE DIGITS?! My daughter is 6, reads writes and gives teenage attitude. My "baby" is 3 but will be 4! in march. There is alot to like about older kids though. We are much more "portable" now, everyone can walk and use the bathroom. Oh and we get to sleep in some on Saturdays because they are old enough to entertain themselves for a bit. YAY SLEEP! I agree though that perhaps it is time to have another ;)
I think you are very normal and I think this is why so many have more than one, or two.... :-) I have one and feel happy and amazed by him every day....but still I am sometimes sad he is my little boy not my tiny baby anymore.
I am so hanging on to the baby-ness of my youngest of 3 (now 4 years old)! She still wants to crawl up on my lap after baths and have M. bundle her in a towel & sing "Rock-a-bye Baby" ~sigh~ It goes by too, too fast! I now have an appreciation of why grandparents get so excited when there's a new generation to raise!
