Moms of Older Teens/college Age Kids/young Adults

Budgeting!!!!

Compound interest (so he doesn't get sucked into credit cards)

Cooking simple meals (he'll only be in the dorms for 1-2 years)

My daughter is the same age and I ditto everything the other moms are saying.
If I could send you a flower for this question I would.
I am reading all the responses with great interest too.

First of all I made sure our daughter filled out all of the college forms and financial forms on her own. I was there to help and provide the info, but she was going to need to know, because every year the financial forms have to be updated usually in January. .. She knows all of our financial info and I share with her all of our incomes and tax info.

She also had a Bank account and a savings account. She dealt with them alone, once she could drive. She knew how to do a deposit, and how to keep a balance.

She had a cell phone so she knew how much it costs for the amount of minutes and texts.. Of course now we have unlimited, but if you have limits make sure he knows this. Also we had to change carriers, because the first carrier we had, she did not get good service up at her school. So we switched so her service was excellent. She knew how to contact the cell phone company with any problems.. Again she knew our passwords etc..

Laundry.. She had been doing laundry for years, but I began explaining a little more about different fabrics. I showed her how to read a label. I told her since we do not get that dirty, we do not need to use as much detergent and cold water will save the fabric. Also suggested things that some items should be line dried.

Cost of food vs. snacks and eating out. We knew she would be on a meal plan, but Sundays they only were provided breakfast. So we worked on different ideas for lunches and dinners, without her having to order out. Especially since she would be attending school up North with real 'Winter weather".. She learned how to cook in an electric rice maker.

I put together a first aid kit and told her what all of the things were for. We use a lot of herbal teas for different things, so I enlightened her to all of that.

I also gave her a Health Insurance card and had her make her own appts. for her physicals.. and her Dental cleanings and check ups. Also her own hair appointments, Thank goodness, because each fall she seemed to trip and injure herself.

We also explained that in college she needed to ask for help the moment she needed it. To make an appt, with the Professors or find out the best way to make an appt. To remember she is a consumer and they are there to make sure she gets a good education, but she needed to speak up for herself.

Totally "encouraged" her to keep in touch with her grandparents.. To always send a thank you or make a "thank you call" for EVERY gift she received while up at school.

Also to send at least an email thanking anyone on Campus that assists her. Professors, financial aid office, etc..

If she was a guest in anyone's home, to let us know so we could also thank them for hosting her. We always sent them some sort of gift from Austin. Each year she has been invited o someones home for Thanksgiving and this last year also for Spring Break.

We also taught her how to pack up he things for storage at the end of each school year. All clothing and bedding need to be washed. Boxes of baking soda in each plastic bucket. Her storage containers totally taped up with her name and cell phone number. in the tops and sides,

And of course taught her how to make her own travel arrangements for her flights and then her transportation to get to her campus from the airport.

He will do fine, just remind him to call you ANYTIME he needs assistance.

Great, although few, responses so far!

My first thought after reading your question/post is that it seems that you've done a great job already! I agree with all 3 posts! There really is so much we can 'teach' them. Their life experience will teach them the rest.

My son recently was the only guy with 3 female roommates. His life experiences/education cracked me up! Like when he came home and wanted paper plates because one of his roommates 'got a clean plate for everything and left it in the sink!" Or when HE actually called me for one of his favorite recipes, cooked and then no one was home to eat! Welcome to my world son! ;)

I think the learning to budget is HUGE! We actually started our son (and now soon to be 17 year old) on a monthly budget when they were 16 and started driving. Sadly, our son, now 21 still has problems. I really think some people get it and some don't. I could go into all the details but I won't for now.

The 'free' time is an adjustment. Having a free period or study hall is nothing compared to the extra time in college. Not to mention, some of these college classes may be taught by barely speaking english teachers assistants!

I also completely agree with Jo about changing their room. Just in the last few months, with our son's permission, I boxed up all of his stuff from his room. He did take some stuff with him, but let's be honest. . . there are many things the don't realize they want or need until later. So I boxed and labeled the things he left. Our daughter and I turned his old room into her 'sitting room' so she now has a 2 bedroom suite. ;) When he comes home and sleeps over he gets the couch in the lower level. Which is a very comfortable couch, but it also makes him appreciate his queen size bed in his apartment.

Let him go and know you've already done a great job!

I can't see anyone else's responses, but I would say safe sex and ways to deal with peer pressure about drugs and drinking. We teach abstinence in our home but realistically, I must have them prepared for all situations!

Hi jacqueline-

I just sent another one off to college this fall...He unexpectedly got an on campus apartment...so I feel he was a little un prepared for cooking...BUT...he does have a meal plan...so he won't starve.

As someone else mentioned, I have kind of been preparing 'all' of the kiddos right the way along for 'leaving home'...so overall I think he will be great (and I just got off the phone with him...and all is well).

I think the hardest thing for ANY college student to be prepared for is the deceptive feeling of 'free' time! Classes are 'spread' out over the course of a week...and it 'feels' so different than typical high school classes. Often freshmen get a 'wake up call' around mid term that maybe they should have been studying more during 'free' time! lol

Not sure it is something they can really understand until they live it...

He is the 4th to go off to college...eldest just graduated and was commissioned in may...next is a senior and graduates next may...next a junior...and now my freshman. They all had part time jobs in college as well...helps them feel a sense of 'ownership' for expenses...and keeps them busy and more focused....IMO

Best Luck!
Michele/cat

My daughter got a phone call her freshman year from "her bank" telling her there was a problem with her account and asking for her PIN number. As a naive 18 yr old she gave them her PIN number and then thought better about it and called me in a panic. Make sure he knows Never to give this personal information, the bank will never call and ask for his PIN, talk about other scams, getting emails from a friend's email account who say they are overseas and in trouble and can you wire some money is a popular scam.

Oh dang I was hoping you were going to offer to buy one.:( Maybe just take over payments...

I started teaching them to be on their own when they were born. This is not meant as an affront to you but at this point there is little you can do. I can't really say what all they learned before I kicked them to the curb I do know I didn't miss a thing. That is more luck than anything I suppose.

I think the biggest thing is they need to believe they are ready. I know of their friends the ones that didn't think they were ready but went anyway made a mess of things. One did about $8,000 in damage to my son's one month old car. Ha, there is some advice tell your kids never lend their car to anyone no matter what your fraternity tells you!!!!!

I would say to make sure he knows to call you if he needs you but then if you say that he won't call you because you said to so don't do it!!!! They will call you when they need money and then calling you just becomes a habit so don't sweat it.

Oh after his junior year of college make his bedroom into a guest room or something. That way he thinks he is not welcome back and will find a place of his own. Knock on wood two have left, none have come back. I have a guest room again!!!! :)

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I got my son a divided folder and labeled the pockets with things like "car info" (for copies of registration, school parking permit info, maintenance records, etc); "W-2 and W-4 forms"; "apartment lease" (or you could put things related to dorm situation); "medical receipts", "warranties and major purchase receipts", "important school info" (like his SAT results and applications and records that need to be kept), etc. Having the folder helped him keep track of these things.

One thing I tried to teach my son: it is my opinion that when traveling or flying or out in public, more losses occur due to carelessness, forgetfulness or disorganization rather than theft. For example, I think people lose track of their boarding passes at the airport because instead of putting it in the proper pocket of their backpack they casually stick it in the magazine they're reading. And kids lose their Ipods because they set them down or stick them somewhere that is out of the ordinary, and then walk away. So I tried to teach him to stop, think, and take the extra 2 seconds to put that ticket in his wallet or in the same backpack pocket every time, or to put the Ipod in his shirt pocket or to put his wallet away. Yes, it might mean standing at the ATM for an extra few seconds and there might be a line of kids waiting behind him, but that's ok. Take the time to put the ATM card back in his wallet and the money where it goes, rather than dashing away from the ATM with a loose hold of his card and a bunch of cash, jamming the card in whatever he's holding and then forgetting what happened to it.

Also, make sure to get your son the meningoccocal vaccine. I don't know if I spelled that right, but it's the meningitis vaccine that they recommend at about 18 years old for kids who will be in a college situation with lots of other kids. Your doctor will know what it is. It's so easy to get the vaccine, and the disease can have such deadly or tragic consequences.

Teach your son the value of keeping records of his belongings. He should record the serial numbers and model numbers of important things like laptops, computers, etc, and he should get in the habit of doing that for every major purchase he makes. It's amazing how they buy things like headphones that cost an amazing amount of money, and they need to learn to properly record their purchases, fill out the registration and warranty forms and keep an inventory. I'm not talking about every video game controller, but those pieces of equipment that cost a couple hundred dollars or more. My son complained: "I'm not going to write all those numbers down" but I told him to just take a picture of the serial number with his phone and email it to me and I kept it in a folder (both on the computer and printed out in a paper folder). Sure enough, he did have a minor theft and the information was readily accessible.

And go over your homeowner's insurance with your agent, and then with your son. Make sure your son's expensive items are covered, first of all, and make sure your son knows about insurance. He should know what you pay, and he should inform the insurer of where he will be a student, and he should have contact information in case of a theft or damage. He should know how to contact the insurer directly in case of an emergency. And he should have the numbers for the bank in case of loss or damage to his ATM card.

Those are my additions to the great suggestions here.

Wow, you've done a great job already since he can do laundry, shop, sew, etc. I'd just add the importance of living within his means & not to use a credit card unless it's a true emergency; how to balance a checkbook; knowing the importance of remembering family on important dates like siblings, grandparents, & parents birthdays; understanding that while away at school he'll meet people with various upbringing, different values etc. and not to form an opinion on people to quickly. Good luck!

All of these answers are great! I would add to put him on the AAA card whether he has a car or not. AAA will come and tow the car even it the member is not the one driving it or owns it. Once my son was old enough that he might be out with friends, he got his card so if the car he was in ever broke down, they would have emergency road service. I also tried to work on teaching him that people are different, our famiy may be different than someone else's, and you don't have to agree with someone on everything to be their friend. Watching Wife Swap together was a good way to do that. He has Asperger's so I also had to work with him on being his own advocate. I made him fill out all the forms for college. He is now a freshman, lives at home as we are close to his chosen college.

I tried to instill the values I wanted them to have like turning to God for everything, praying for direction, tithing, and knowing they can count on us too. We can not force them to do anything other than what they will. The best thing we can do at this point is pray. Pray always, without ceasing!

What a great question, Jacqueline. You have done a good job preparing him already. I like all these answers and I would add one more-COMMUNICATION and CONFILICT RESOLUTION SKILLS.

Congrats to you and your family. He sounds like a son to be proud of.

If your son is living on campus with a meal plan then he doesn't need to do much as far as food prep. If he's living in a dorm and is cooking then you'll need to make sure he can meal plan, shop, and cook everything. One of my daughters use to cook in large quantities and throw stuff in the freezer in single servings so she'd just microwave and have a meal all ready.

Figure out your medical insurance and find doctors and pharmacies in the area in case he's ill. If your plan has a designated pcp make sure you make that change when he leaves for college.

I picked up a cheap replacement cellphone and sent it off to college, That way if something happened to the cellphone they could take out the sim card and have a working phone without a hassle. I also only texted my kids because with their school schedule it was easier to text and say hi than to call and disturb them while studying.

Start a couple weeks before hand and have your son keep track of the things he uses all the time so you'll know what you need to send to school with him. Cleaning supplies are a must but little things like q tips and hand lotion are important too. Toilet paper. Lots of toilet paper.

the one thing I did with my son I am very glad I did it paid off emmensly is making him make decisions on his own without help. Here is how I did it. I madehim pay my bills and stuff with my money I have x for electric, x for car insurance, then I need groceries and gas and etc. I would deliberately not give him enough so he would have to figure out how to manage his money. He would actually have enough just it was real tight and I made sure of it. I had more stashed he didn't know about.

We would go to the grocery store and I would make him buy groceries. I would deliberatly ask him why are you buying that and why. if he run short at the registar I would ask him now whatare you going to do. He had to decide what our weeks groceries were going to be. If I run into a problem (use descretion on this they don't need to know everything) I would tell him I have x problem. What do I do? He would consider it and come up with ideas. I would respond that won't work cause of this reason. Or that will work but what about this? Or if he came up with a very good Idea that I couldn't blow holes through I would tell him excellent idea.

This made him think about other things that you have to consider. He is very good about thinking things through before acting. I would never tell him what to do I would make him decide with guidnance. He would have x problem at work. I would ask him so how are you going to handle this. He actually is better than me about thinking things through before acting. He still lives with me for another month since he is in school and he offers me very good advice a lot on things that don't involve him. Sometimes he does better than me deciding. :) If he decides to do this even when he was right I would ask why are you going to do it that way? I would always make him explain his decision to me. I think that is the best thing I could have done for him. He wound up with 2 supervisory postions at work since then. IF I had to do it again that is the one thing I would do again. I also make him responsible for his own actions. no escape goats no excuses you must admit I did wrong if you are wrong. My answer is always you messed up(if he messed up ) how are you going to fix this?

They need to know how to schedule their own appts, like for doctors, dentists and such.
They need to know how to balance a check book.
They need to know that it's totally okay to call home and ask for advice when they come across something and not sure what to do.

I only have an 11 and 14 year old, but gained some insights and advice about what to start teaching them beyond the simple chores they do now. Thanks for the question!

Cooking, knowing how to properly do laundry (even if he doesn't), how to balance a checkbook and manage an account, what credit cards really mean, make an appointment and a reservation, how to read a map, how to book transportation (if he'll ever need a bus, train or taxi). Get him renter's insurance. Get some version of AAA if he's taking his car. Getting places ON TIME if that's a problem and prioritizing. If you're going to be hanging out til 1 AM, when are you going to do your homework? Even if he has a meal plan, how to grocery shop and compare prices. There are fridges and microwaves to rent and he might want a 3AM microwaved something.

I also agree with making him do things on his own and see how he does. Like making a dr's appointment for all the booster shots he'll need. Or getting all his books.

It sounds like you did a great job getting him ready. Probably more than most kids know, and college has a lot of safety nets to help them get on their feet.

One thing - help him open his first bank account. BOTH my kids were taken in by the "student" accounts, which became inexplicably not-free part way through. Also, talk to him about credit card usage. If he can get a card and use it responsibly (not buy anything he can't already pay for), he will go a long way to establishing good credit. But too many kids get sucked in by the credit card offers (and random gifts for applying) and end up leaving school thousands of dollars in debt.

Other than that, it sounds like you've gotten him ready. So much is stuff you have to learn by doing.