My 3.4 y.o. son has been using the potty for BM since he was 18 months with very few accidents. Peeing in the potty came along slower, but now he regularly tells me he has to go. Unfortunately, he usually goes a little bit (a tablespoon or two) before he gets to the potty. I tried taking away pull-ups "cold turkey", but was changing his underwear as much as I changed his diaper as a newborn!! I finally decided to just go back to pull-ups until he had better bladder control. However he is stillllll doing the pre-pee pee. It seems like he is not physiologically ready, yet, but I am just wondering if anyone has had this issue and can offer any advice.
Thanks everyone! I tried a lot of what everyone mentioned prior to posting here. He always changed his own underwear and took the wet underwear to the laundry. He took it in stride and didn't mind the interruptions to his activity. I tried taking him potty every half hour even; he still often peed in between. He does have a lot of daddy training and has always peed standing up. I went back to pull-ups out of a desire to save him (and me) the frustration and shame of never quite getting it right. I personally agree with Gail and decided that his potty training should NOT affect his self-esteem in a negative way and stopped "discipline" and negative feedback with regard to potty. I am happy to report that he actually had a breakthrough this week and CHOSE to wear underwear. He did great all day...only one pre-pee and he was already in the bathroom, but had trouble with his pants. Yay! I am glad to know many mamas deal with the same issue and feel the same about letting some time pass before making it an issue :-) Thanks again.
My friend's son did the same thing. It was basically just in issue of him not quite realizing he needed to go until he'd already started. I think it's just another aspect of training that takes time, unfortunately.
The problem with pull ups is that he won't feel wet, so it might not help solve the problem.
Mom of a 4 yr old girl - who occasionally (specially if she has friends over) is too busy to remember to go and "pre-pee pee" or totally wet her pants. I must remind her when she is busy, and sometimes challenge her on a race to the bathroom to see who gets there first. Anything, just to get her to go before she really has to and can't get there in time. Worth a try.
Hi C.,
Glad to hear your son's doing better. I have 3 boys and they all got potty trained in their own time. I wasn't concerned that they had to be potty trained by 2 or 3 yrs old. They were all potty trained (night time too) by the time they were 5 yrs old - day time is usually sooner than night time training. Unless money is really tight that you can't afford to buy diapers (or pull-ups), then let them get ready in their own timing. I would definitely be concerned if they weren't trained by they time they're 5 yrs old.
My four year old has this issue. For him it is merely not wanting to stop his current activity to go to the potty so he is waiting until the absolute last minute. I went back to setting a potty timer and he has to go every 45 min regardless. It has helped alot. I still here the "but I don't have to go" but I make him try anyways and he always pees a little.
HTH. :o)
Hi C., he's physiologically ready, here's a couple mistakes I feel you made if I can share with you. Number one you never ever go back to diapers or pullups (Which are basically diapers) once their out, second mistake YOU changing him, you should be making him change himself, especialy since he's going on four, the last thing, I think there is a lack of discipline when he does pee on himself. Children wait till the last minute to go pee, they don't want to stop playing long enough to go pee, so they wait till they can no longer hold it, that's what you need to discipline. With him being a boy, dad needs to be real involved, by 2 1/2 my husband was teaching our boys how to stand up and go. But they were completly trained at 21 and 19 months. Hope this helps. J.
Hi C.,
One thing we did with our boys was make it their responsibility to change their clothes when they peed in them.
They had to take off the wet ones, go put them in the washing machine and get themselves dressed in dry clothes. Of course we were right there beside them being supportive and happy, this was not punishment, so we didn't want to make them feel bad. But, having them change their own clothes and take responsiblity for putting the dirty ones in the wash took a long time out of their playtime. They both chose pretty quickly to head for the bathroom a little quicker/earlier. It took less time to get all the pee in the toilet that to change clothes.
Just a suggestion, it worked wonders for us! Good luck.
G.
Hi,
I had that problem before... but I ended it. Instead of waiting for him to tell me he has to pee, I would ask him every hour or two and bring him to the bathroom to pee whether he said yes or no. If he says no... then just try to make him... after a minute of nothing coming out... then he really didn't have to pee.... and phrase him as he goes pee. And always make sure you ask him before you leave the house or anyplace before going to your next destination.
Hope that helps,
M.
Sounds like he only has conscious control (not unconscious control). When he feels himself start to pee, he closes the sphincter, & tells you he has to go, but he has to feel himself start to pee first.
The unconscious control will come with time... nothing to be done to speed it up, since it's the nerves rewiring.
Boys do tend to have harder time with this and the littler they are the harder it is to get it right every time-or even anytime.
It sounds like his brain is just not getting the message until "right before" or else he is too busy to stop if he does get the message early. Both are a symptom of his age and will clear up over time. At this stage you don't want a battle over the bathroom.
Switch back to pull ups if it makes your life easier it won't make a difference unless he cares.
But start a reminder service for him-every hour or so just check in with him-see if it helps.
If he does go when you remind him and it stops then you know he was too interested to stop and go-there are much more important things in his life than the bathroom even if you don't think so.
If it doesn't help then it's probably an under developed trigger feeling that should fix itself as he grows. If you're still having this problem at age 5 bring it up with his doctor.
Welcome to the wonderful world of boys, for some reason hygene is a boy battle until their like 95.
Good Luck.
Hi there, this is pretty common as I understand it. I thought I'd add a couple of different ideas to those great suggestions already made.
I wonder if there is a food intolerance at work? Seems at first an odd thing to mention, but it can be a sign of an irritant in their system when this sort of thing happens.
Consider his diet - are there any additives, colours etc that could be removed or minimized, and see how he goes then? "Blame" the potential culprit and see what happens!
Another thing is to go on a confidence building exercise - it is amazing how little accidents can be from a spot of stress in their system generally. My son had a spate of wetting after his baby brother was born (at nights) -it vanished entirely when I told him it was due to a certain cause, and not his fault at all. That was the end of it.
It'll pass. You know, it is actually a myth that boys 'train' slower than girls.
C.
My 3 yr old has that problem. It's gotten a lot better and we only change his undies twice, maybe 3 times on a bad day. I've kept him in undies. He feels it. Since it's not a lot, I don't make a big deal about it. He goes quite a few days dry now. I don't think it's necessarily physiological. He's busy. He's doing stuff and waiting until last minute to go. A little bit comes out and he really knows he can't wait any longer. It'll all fall into place.
My 4-year old daughter still has a similar issue. Not as regularly anymore, but she still leaks before she gets to the bathroom if she waits too long. She is also still unable to make it through the night. I think that the muscles just develop at different rates for different kids.
I just bought a lot of underwear and didn't make a big deal of it. I gave her the responsibility to change if she got a little wet so that she would be more aware of it. I figure kids clothes and underwear are pretty small, so even if she changes a few times a day, it's not that much more laundry.
And, if it continues to concern you, it never hurts to run it past your pediatrician.
Good luck!
