Mommy the Pacifier

J., I feel that if you start to co-sleep with her, you are just asking for another problem for later when you want her in her own bed. I don't understand why all these moms do that, but you need to let her learn to self soothe so she will be a more independent and secure child. You should always let her know that you are there, but just to check on her and tell her she's alright. If she always needs mom to make her feel secure, when will you be able to leave her when you need to? My kids were great at going to bed when they were babies, but I did spend a lot of before time with them. If she still needs to suck, she will find her thumb eventually. As other training,it may take some time, but be consistant. She should be sleeping through the night and so should you. If she wakes up for awhile longer, give her something else, like drink from a cup or just pat her back for awhile. If she is getting solids in the evening then she shouldn't be hungry. Cereal will definately help her sleep through the night.

Just take her to bed with you and go to sleep yourself. You'll get rest, she'll be comforted, and nobody will have to get up and down at night.

If that is off limits to you for some reason, then just nurse her until she's asleep. It's not going to hurt anybody, and she'll probably nod off more quickly if you don't rouse her by trying to take her off the breast.

Children often need both comfort and to nurse more around that age. She is possibly hitting a growth spurt and thus a nursing marathon to increase your supply (remember, suckling after the true nursing will still provide the appropriate stimulation for this). Another possibility is that it is a reaction to new found independence. When babies learn that they can crawl/walk/climb they often realize that their world has gotten bigger and they need extra reassurance that you are there to comfort them even as they become more independent. Believe it or not, indulging the child, showing her that you are really always there for her, will produce a much more securely independent older child and adult in the future!

In short, don't fight it. It'll be ok in the end.

I can totally relate! My son is now 20 months old. We co-sleep and his sister sleeps in the same room as us. I've done everything a good attachment parent should do (within my own personal limits) and yet I am still tied down... often. He won't let me wander from him when he is sleeping for more than an hour, day or night. Especially mornings when I would love to get up, pee and get a drink. Sometimes I can, for about 5 minutes before he wakes up and we are back nursing again. Most of the time I can time it to a growth spurt, illness etc. But not always. He did find his thumb around 3 months but abandoned that at 6 months. I'd love to hear if you get any different responses besides crying it out.

I would take her into bed with you so you can both sleep. My girls sleep with me and I get much more sleep than I would if they were waking up somewhere else without me. I have friends who co-slept with their older children and the children always move out of the bed eventually. My older daughter is 2 and usually starts off the night in her own bed and then comes into our bed if she needs me in the middle of the night. The baby starts off with us and stays with us. Eventually she'll move into the other room/bed with her sister :)

Best wishes!

~B.

Hi J.,

She is old enough now that you can add rice formula to her diet. That will help her tummy feel more full and she should sleep better and longer. :) You may have already done this. Also, if she is teething, you can try a teething ring instead of a pacifier. This worked with our daughter. :) Oh, and another thing for teeth is herbal teething tablets!

Blessings,

K.S.

Start with naps so she doesn't wake everyone else, and refuse your breast when the meal is over. Try to move nursing earlier so it is not part of the bedtime and naptime routine. This way she will have to learn another way to sooth herself. It's not going to be easy, because babies are so stubborn and demand what they want furiously. Once you get daytime and bedtime figured out, midnight feedings will follow.