Mommy Group

Updated on May 07, 2008
A.S. asks from Union City, CA
6 answers

HI Mommies,
My little guy is 8 months old right now and we currently belong to 2 mommy and baby groups. The problem is one group is for a little bit older babies who can walk and the other group is for new babies. wWhen i joined the group for new babies i asked the organizer if it would be problem that james was going to be about 3 months older than everyone else and if she would be willing to have play dates and meet ups that would be places where he could play on the ground and whatnot. After the last get togter she asked for feed back and then got mad at me for being honest with her that the place she picked was not good for older babies. She told me to reconsider if this was the group was me. I really like all the moms in this group and want to contune to to go but now i feel like i am not welcome. I am not the only mom who has an older baby. there are several others. What i guess i am mad about is that she said it would not be a problem and now it is. How do i talk her about this with out making her mad?
A.

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A.C.

answers from Sacramento on

At this age, 3 months is such a huge difference, but as the kids grow, that gap will become less and less apparent. Our play group had babies from January to June. Some were mobile while others couldn't get off their backs, and we made it work.

It sounds like this gal was offended and this is easy to fix. The next time you talk to her maybe just say something along the lines of...the last time we talked I got the feeling you were upset with my feedback - my intentions were not to hurt your feelings and I didn't mean to upset you. I'm really sorry. I'd really like to keep coming to this group and I came up with some suggestions for meeting places that might work for everyone.

If the group alternates places to meet that work well for you, then you can still continue to go by either compromising, or just attending the locations that work.

It just sounds like she put the meeting together and hearing that you didn't like it may have made her unintentionally feel bad, so if you apologize, offer some suggestions and if she's a reasonable person, it will be fine.

If you like the kids and the other moms, try to stay in it...it's good for you and good for your son.

If they continue to meet in places that don't work for you, or it turns out she's not a reasonable person, then maybe contact the moms with the older babies and see if they would be interested in getting together another time during the week.

Good luck!

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S.D.

answers from Sacramento on

I was wondering how I can get information about taking my son to this baby play group? My son is turning 14 months old on May 18th. Does it cost money? Can I have a contact number to this play group or a website? A play group would be a nice way for my son to meet other kids and for me to meet other moms.

My advice in regards to your situation. I think if you talk politely and honestly, this person SHOULD respond in the same matter. If not, maybe she's having a bad day and you need to talk to someone else (like one of the other leaders, for instance or the boss (head leader)).

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E.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Andrea is right on. Three months seems like a lot at your son's age but once a bunch of the babies are mobile, it's irrelevant. If you like the other parents in the group and would like to stick with them -- that's huge in my book. Before the next meeting, try to have an honest discussion with the mom who asked for feedback. Come with suggestions of your own as to places to meet up.

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T.T.

answers from Yuba City on

Hi A.. though I don't live close to you, google MOPS and Mom's In Motion. I absolutely love both. You will find a variety of ages, 0-5, moms from all walks of life. Another great place to look, iVillage.com, get on their chat rooms, and the other place is mommyandme.com or mommyandme.net. There they will help you locate groups. I hope this helps.

T.

C.C.

answers from Fresno on

If you like the moms and want to stay a part of the group, maybe you can suggest some good meeting places to the organizer that would be suitable for all of the babies. I have found that if I do some of the legwork first, people take constructive criticism better. She might have run out of ideas, and if her baby is not yet mobile, she really doesn't understand what it's like to have one who is - so you can help her out by giving her some ideas on places that would be better for all of you.

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A.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Sarah, go to meetup.com to find a moms group in you area. There will most likely be a few to choose from so you can check out more than one to find the right fit for you.

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