Mom Wanting a Third Child and Husband Very Much 'On the Fence'

I don't know what to tell you about this one, as my hubby and I go back and forth about things like this all the time. lol
I am currently pregnant with baby #4, our first girl. We always said we would have 4 children, but since this pregnancy began, I find myself really wanting a 5th child. He goes back and forth about it for some of the same reasons your hubby does, yet he knows I will always feel that I am missing a piece of the puzzle if we don't.

What about talking with your hubby about just letting things happen? You can decide on a time frame together, and if you get pregnant, great!

Good Luck!

I really, really wanted another baby after my second son was born. He was so easy compared to my first. Your description reminded me of myself at that time, which is why I'm responding. Not that I know what you should do, but it reminded me. I was about 37 when he was your baby's age.

We didn't have another baby - it just wasn't practical for a lot of reasons. And now that my "baby" is going to K in the fall, I'm actually really happy that door has closed. It was hard at the time. I still wish I had started earlier and had a lot more money :-).

Anyway, I'm only posting to say that, a few years down the road, I'm happy with my own family of two kids. But my best friend, same age, had a baby the year after that, also her third, and she is thrilled with her family of three! So I guess, be open to the idea that you may be happy in the long run either way.

Also, if you stop pushing, your husband may stop pushing back, and find that in his heart when he's not busy resisting you, he wants a third too.

However it works out, I wish you all the best!

M.,

We waivered for awhile too. I wanted one, then he didn't. Then he wanted to, and I'd cooled off. All I can say is be sure that you want to go down that path again - what if you do get another one like your daughter. A real spirited child or what if you got a handicapped child (something to consider since you are getting older.) We can't predict what we will get, so are you prepared for whatever you might get? I think all of these are very real considerations.

I'd give it a 3 month rest. Then approach your husband again if you still feel you're not done.

I have to laugh a bit because when my husband was saying he was done, I said, "then go get fixed because I'm not going back on birth control again. Been there, done that. So if you're so set on NOT having kids, then get taken care of." The permanence of THAT decision weighed heavily with him. After our second child I did not go back on birth control...I was done with it, his turn. The idea of him getting "fixed" and never being able to have kids again really set him back on the fence. Then he "came back around" and said, let's do it.

I have still been clear. I've done the birth control thing, the pregnancy and nursing thing. I think I've put in my time. He knows that it's HIS turn.

Maybe that will change your husband's mind or at least get him to REALLY think about it.

Best of luck,

Sara

I went through this about 2 years ago. The only difference is I didn't have a time issue. I had two boys and really wanted a third. He threw every reason at me not to. We finally decided that we would not try, but not prevent it and if it happened it happened. We set a date that we thought was reasonable that if it didn't happen by then we would close the door. We both didn't want huge gaps between the kids. On our last month of letting things be we ended up getting pregnant and having our little girl. Things have gotten a little tighter financially since then, but we've been making it work.