Mom's Purse: Sacred Space or Family-accessible?

Updated on August 06, 2014
H.W. asks from Portland, OR
26 answers

This is sort of a just for fun question, and I am curious to see what sort of answers this brings...

Growing up, the women of our family had very certain 'spaces'. You didn't get in the way when mom was cooking, you didn't go into either grandmothers' rooms without being invited, and you NEVER went into her purse. Purses were considered more or less sacrosanct. Occasionally we were asked to get something for her out of her purse, but that was the only reason you were to be in there, period.

Even as a teen, when I was 'borrowing' Mom's sweaters or perfume or makeup, I never ever took anything from her purse. Somehow it had a magical hedge of protection around it, I guess.

Now, as a mom myself, I am noticing that when Kiddo was younger and we used a diaper bag, I didn't care who got into it. They were usually doing something of a favor for me if they were in there. Now he's older, I have a backpack with which I don't mind if he gets in, but my two smaller purses? NOPE. Stay out. I don't even like my husband to get into my purse, and we honor each other's 'territory' by asking before we get into each other's wallets, etc.

So, what's your story?

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Featured Answers

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L.Z.

answers from Seattle on

I'm not too hung up about it. My kids usually dig in there for gum, but that's about it. They also usually ask first. My husband is welcome to dig around if necessary too, but he usually stays out. I don't look in his wallet, phone or computer either. We respect each other's privacy.

I don't remember my mom being too worried about her bag either. I would just ask if I needed something or ask if I could look for something I needed. If you touch her computer though, that's another story. It makes me wonder what she is up to! ;)

2 moms found this helpful
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T.R.

answers from Orlando on

Haha sort of both. I don't mind my daughter going through it, if she asks first! If she doesn't ask and starts digging away, I'll say "get out of there!" ;)

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

My kids don't get into my purse, and my husband always asks me for items I carry in my purse, but like Julie I've noticed that my purse seems to be a carry-all for everything and the kitchen sink. My husband is always asking if I can put "this" in my purse. :-)

8 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

My handbag is my life sometimes. I keep it organized in certain ways for a reason. I need each thing that is in there, even if it may look like a scrap of paper to anyone else, it could be that the paper has a note, a number, a company name, the SKU number.. I have placed it in there for a reason.

The money in my wallet may not be mine. It could belong to a client as a payment to a vendor.

We ask each other if we need to get something out of a backpack, camera bag, handbag and even each others cars!

You can look in the car for something, but you need to ask for permission to borrow it or take items somewhere. Again because we work out of our cars on all sorts of things.

6 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

It would bug me if the kids got into my purse but apparently my husband thinks it has a room for rent. Ya know, hun, hold this, do you have room for that, here hold this knowing full well I am going to cram it in...

6 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Nope. You don't go into my purse without my permission.

Just like you don't go into Daddy's briefcase without HIS permission.

They don't want ME going through their wallets, right? It's personal space.

6 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

No one goes in my pocketbook unless they ask me where something is and I say "It's in my purse", or I say "bring me my wallet". Not sure why it's like that, not like I ripped someone's face off for it once.

I dunno, it's just respect. Or something.

:)

ETA: See, now you've got me thinking. Makes me wonder whether maybe they DID go into my pocketbook once and came across something that freaked them out, bahawaha. And then just felt it'd be better to ask next time.

5 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

ha! i'd never thought about this!
my purse too has always had the magical hedge of protection (love that.) even my dh always asks before going in there.
and truly, none of the men ever like going in there. which makes sense. it is sort of wilderland, to which i have the only map.
:) khairete
S.

4 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I didn't like kids in my purse. I always trusted them, they wouldn't have stolen from me, but the stuff in my purse is too important to have people fiddling around in it.

So if they needed something from my purse, they had to ask. Even then, I would usually get it myself.

4 moms found this helpful

K.A.

answers from San Diego on

My kids don't want to go into my purse. They can never ever find anything in it! If they want something that is in my purse they bring it to me and I get it for them. They do like to help themselves to the camera that is always in there. I wouldn't mind if they would zip it back up and not let everything fall out. I don't like when they get into my purse because it never fails, something falls out or they forget to put something in that they took out and I don't realize it until I'm somewhere and need it. They never seem to zip it back up.
It's not really because I don't want them in there, it's just not practical and is faster and easier for me to get whatever it is.

4 moms found this helpful

V.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

Pretty similar to you. And my phone is similar territory. Actually, unless I am using it, it is typically in my purse... so off limits. LOL

I taught them from a young age... women's purses are not toys or public property. Not just mine---ANY woman's. I don't need little kids pulling private things out of my purse, ya know? Or someone else's purse, either. I have never understood the women who don't seem to care if their kids riffle through their purse. I have both private AND important things in there that I don't want lost, damaged, or sometimes even seen (and questioned about as kids are known to do). I didn't have to put my lipstick out of reach (to avoid walls drawn on in lipstick by 3 yr olds) because it was in my purse. They were not allowed in my purse.
If they want a piece of gum, they ask. If they want dental floss (when we are out somewhere), they ask. Or chapstick. Or a quarter for a vending machine. Whatever... they don't just dig in my purse.
My husband will go in my purse if he asks for something and I tell him it's in my purse (implying to go get it yourself).. but he doesn't like to. He'd rather I got it out for him. He was brought up the same as we brought up our kids.

My kids are older now (16 and 13) so I no longer have to worry about a 4 yr old pulling a tampon out and waving it around in public asking about what it is while opening the wrapper. But then.. I didn't have to worry then, either, b/c they didn't go in my purse.

I also keep money, credit cards, and a checkbook in my purse. And my purse is organized and I have a "spot" where everything is and everything is in its place. Then I can reach in and find what I need without even looking.

4 moms found this helpful

V.S.

answers from Reading on

Yes, my mother's purse was off limit, but nobody talked about feminine products and she secretly smoked. I don't like people going in my purse, because that's what I was taught, but when they need something and I don't feel like getting up, I tell them to go in my purse for it.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Austin on

Slightly different story, but my hubby learned early on not to criticize what was in my purse...

We were engaged, and he was commenting on what all I carried in my purse. He was trying to point out that I didn't NEED all that stuff in there.....

He reached into my purse, and pulled out a plastic case about 6 inches long, commenting "What is this? You don't need THAT in your purse.." Then he opened it up, and realized it was my tampon container!

He kept his mouth shut about my purse for a LONG time after that!

4 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Boston on

My purse, laptop bag, tutoring bag, laptop, phone and tablet are sacred spaces. My electronics are PW protected anyway but they know that those are not toys.

3 moms found this helpful
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G.T.

answers from Rochester on

I don't have anything in my purse that I can't share/show to any one. But it is "my private space" so no one else should go in it without my permission. Dad would never let anyone go thru his pockets because they are "his private space".

3 moms found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

About the same. My purse is as private as my husband's wallet. I would never go into his wallet (or even his pant pockets) to get anything, and he doesn't go in my purse. He might bring it to me, but I'll dig the whatsit out for him.

I don't know for sure how he feels about it, but he may be apprehensive that, if he stuck his hand down into that dark space inside my purse, he might never see his fingers again.

Diaper bag? That's different! It wasn't mine - it was the baby's. I was just the pack horse, so to speak.

3 moms found this helpful
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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

The stuff in my purse is MINE. MY wallet, MY lip balm, MY keys, MY smokes. There is no reason for anyone else to go into MY purse unless I specifically ask them to bring me one of MY belongings from it.
For example, yesterday, I was helping a friend change a tire, and I asked his son to get my keys out of my purse, use them to open my trunk, and bring me my lug wrench, which was better than the one my friend had.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

No one touches my purse unless I specifically tell them to get something. Even then, my husband always seems super reluctant. I don't know if he thinks a shark lives in there or what. :-)

3 moms found this helpful
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R..

answers from San Antonio on

My husband and I always ask before we go into either his wallet or my purse.

Actually I think he is scared of my purse...lol.

But it is my personal space, my kids know to ask before venturing into my purse.

3 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

Nobody should go into my purse without asking or being asked. I don't keep anything "secret" in there, but I do keep many valuable things...

I can reach into my overfilled Lug bag without looking an pull out whatever I need whenever I need it! I don't want anyone messing with my system!

3 moms found this helpful
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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't really care.
Sometimes my youngest will get in there to get a car or lollipop.
For the most part, I remember staying out of my mom's purse.
It's not a big deal. I just don't want things falling out.

2 moms found this helpful
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I.O.

answers from McAllen on

Lol, my purse has never been that. When I was 14, I gave my boyfriend (who was also my best friend) a go-to section for gum. Or a pen.

I have to force my husband to stick his hand in there. My toddler is pretty comfortable pulling stuff out of there. I've had to teach him to stay out of the zippered parts or to leave certain specific things alone, but, otherwise, I don't mind.

To me, it's always been just a stylish sack used to carry my stuff. I carry a lot of stuff, for all the what-ifs.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from New York on

No one is allowed in my purse. When I catch my daughter trying to get into it, I remind her (harshly) to stay out of mommy's bag. It's probably the one thing I have that is 100% my own. My hubby can go into if he wants to, but he doesn't. And can't bother to.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.O.

answers from Detroit on

I don't carry one. Nor a diaper bag. Even with the babies. I guess we just...were lucky. I had spares in the car if needed. Never had extra hands to carry it or wanted to worry about a bag.

My credit card and driver ID, etc. are usually in a pocket. Always trying not to lose them, lol. But at least I can't lose all at once, like in a purse.

1 mom found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

It's a personal preference. I don't mind anyone going in to my purse as long as I know they're getting in to it.

My mom didn't like anyone going in to hers for any reason.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.N.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I don't mind anyone going in my purse. I've found that I have no sacred space whatsoever! Which is why I get up before everyone in the mornings to have my time... That is my sacred thing! Lol

1 mom found this helpful
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