Mom's of 1St or 2Nd Graders - Questions

Updated on May 20, 2010
M.B. asks from Colorado Springs, CO
10 answers

I'm getting a little concerned. My son has been getting into trouble at school lately. I'm not sure if it's because it's the end of the year and he's gotten too comfortable, or what?? There haven't been any changes in our home life. He has two siblings and two parents who love each other and him. He has never had an issue with getting into trouble at school in the past, but recenlty (past couple mnths) it has become more and more frequent. I want to nip it before it gets to be the norm for him. He has also been crying at school, which I find very unusual. It is not in his character. He never cried at school in preschool or kindergarten. Today, the kids were playing a game and he wanted to do it one way and his teammates wanted to do it another way. He got so frustrated he cried. He has always been very sensitive and has a strong personality. He likes to be in charge. But I want to make sure he knows that you have to be a team player too. He has lots of friends so that's not an issue. He also does fine academically. Help!

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So What Happened?

SLEEP! That is probably the main cause of this behavior! He has not been sleeping enough lately. He woke up at 5:20 am today. Thank you for bringing that to my attention. And recently, he has been staying awake until 9:30 sometimes 10 pm. He gets 8 hours if he's lucky. He goes in his room and the light is off, but I can hear him toss and turn. I can't force him to sleep. I'm not sure what to do about it!
As for his behavior, no, it is not disrespect. I've asked the teacher and she says he's perfectly respectful, he just talks to much and sometimes gets too wound up with his friends.

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L.L.

answers from Hartford on

My first thought was, could he be overtired? We extended my son's bedtime by 30 min earlier in the year. We thought it may help with him getting up so darn early. Within a week there was a drastic change in his moods. We switched back and all is well. Hope it is something as simple as this. Best of Luck :)

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V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

What kind of trouble has he been getting into? Is he talking in class and being disruptive generally? Is he being disrespectful to the teacher? Picking at or arguing with other kids? Shooting spitballs? What is he doing that is getting him in trouble?

If he is finishing his work early and getting into trouble because he is playing around (out of boredom?) then perhaps he should be evaluated for giftedness. If he is not finishing his work and getting into trouble for daydreaming out the window or for constant distractions (up 15 times to sharpen his pencil and playing with erasers from his desk) then perhaps he might have an attention issue. Sometimes this can be a simple matter of him getting more sleep or a higher protein value in his breakfast and lunch to smooth out his blood sugar fluctuations throughout the day. It could be more than that.

You didn't really say in what manner he is in trouble, so it is hard to give very good quality advice. Sorry.

If he is crying... could there be a bully? That could also cause him to act out in ways that might get him into trouble.

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S.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

When my son was about that age (or he might have been as old as 10) he thought we were being way too restrictive with bedtime. It was summer, so we let him stay up about a 1/2 hr later for a couple weeks to try it. He got so grumpy and difficult to deal with and he didn't realize himself. Switching back solved the problem.
Our son has, at times, had difficulty going to sleep. To help our son sleep, we try to make sure he gets some exercise during the day (recess at school wasn't nearly enough for him, he needed to run around for a while). Also if he watched TV/movies within about an hour of bedtime he'd be awake for hours - not all kids react to TV that way, but something to look for. Bedtime routine and calm activities (reading?) before bed seemed to help a lot too. Perhaps watch the sugar and caffine intake in the afternoon and evening too.
Good luck!

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A.M.

answers from Santa Barbara on

My twins are 6 1/2. They sometimes cry more if they are over tired. But I also see it more in one than the other. It is usually out of frustration. I can understand where you son would have been frustrated with his teammates, and brought to tears. As for the trouble at school. Mine are also having a little "incidents" at school lately. It could totally be due to it being the end of the year, too comfy etc. I also have discovered there is another boy in the mix and it seems these 3 have a harder time doing the right thing sometimes when they are together. I also think (have heard) 6 is a rough age. I am agreeing with that lately ! Good luck!

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A.N.

answers from Grand Junction on

it sounds like the problem is at the school, whether its unfriendly kids in or outside of his class, i don't know. talk to his teacher to see if there has been a kid/kids/group of kids who regularly pick on your son. it may be that your son is trying to assert himself in one are of school life and becoming frustrated when others don't "cooperate" because there are other areas outside of his control, ie he's getting picked on, bullied, left out etc. hope this helps

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C.T.

answers from Pocatello on

My son was doing that too. It was mainly because of another boy that was his friend that was doing, so he went right along and did it too. His teacher told us about it and all we did was I asked his teacher to send home a note or an email to let me know how he acted each day for about a week or two and I told him that he was grounded from his video games until I go a full week of good reports from his teacher. And then if he went right back to acting the way he did before, he would have to do all again but had to have 2 weeks of good reports. And then added each week until he started behaving a little better each time. I'm not sure about the crying thing. My son does that too, but at home instead of at school. You can maybe just try talking to him about it. Let him know you love him and that he can tell you anything and you won't get upset. See if you can find out from him what's going on. Hope this helps.

Updated

I just read that thing about sleep. My son was also having problems sleeping. I asked my doctor about it, and she told me to give him a low dose of Benadryl(sp?). He made him just drowsy enough to help him sleep. I had told the doctor that I had thought of that, but was afraid of drugging my child. But she said it's totally harmless, and said no more than 1/2 a teaspoon.

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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

For the sleep - try melatonin. They have a liquid form, but it's a little hard to find in stores.

You can also ask for him to be seen by the school counselor. That might help if there are any bullying issues going on. My 8 yr old son had a drastic behavioral change after Christmas break. I had him seen by the school counselor and there was a boy causing problems for him - nothing big, but still tough for an 8 year old. The school counselor can also recommend further counseling with a private counselor to help him with impulse control, if needed.

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M.R.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Because you may have narrowed it down to a sleep
issue, have you noiced if he snores? My nephew had similar issues and they thought he was ADHD. Turns out his tonsils and adenoids were enlarged to the point where he was having apnea and waking up/rousing so many times at night that his body never got the rest it needed. As with almost all kids his age, sleep deprivation manifested itself not as drowsiness but as hyperactivity. Once he got his adenoids and tonsils removed he got back to his normal self again.

I do hope that all your son needs is help relaxing before bedtime and that he then gets the rest he needs for his behavior to come back around. But if what I wrote above sounds like a possibility, then I'm glad I could at least bring that alternate option of research to your attention. Best wishes.

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V.M.

answers from Erie on

I would but him to be earlier and see if that helps. you haven't added any extra sports or activities ahve you? maybe just the change in weather might be wearing him out.

talk to him and talk to the teacher, I hope this is resolved because it would be really nice to end the year on a good note making 2nd grade something to look forward too.
oh and one more thing, has the teacher upped the amount of work she expects from them? sometimes at teh end of the year they either push for alot or stop doing the work and then that gives them time to mess around.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My son is 7. While he is an awesome student academically, and he's not been "in trouble" in school, I know that mentally, the end of year bell has already rung in his head!

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