My daughter just turned 2 and now she thinks she knows it all. She thinks that saying NO is the majical word. If I tell her to stop doing something so tells me No and does it anyway. She even will hit me if I remove her from doing something that I don't want her to. When I try to put her on a time out she screams so loud I am afaid that someone is going to think that I am hurting her. I need some adivce on what kind of methods I can use to get her to start listening to me and to stop with the temper tantrums that are so uncontrolable. I am willing to try anything at this point. Watching Nanny 911 and Super Nanny have not been affective for me.
Well I am sticking to my guns and just letting her scream out. For the most part she is starting to get the hint that she is not going to get a rise out of me and there are some times where she still tries. We are getting through it and I hoping that in the future to come she will grow out of it but we will see. Thank you all for you help and advice so far and I am more than willing to hear some more advice. You never had too little of it let me tell you.
Where do you live?? I am Imperial Beach. My son is about to be 2 in August and acts the same way!!! Maybe we can get together for a playdate!!
Be strong. Don't give in. Above all, be consistant. If you punish her one day for hitting and not the next time, she will do it longer. She wants to know what you are willing to put up with and what you are not. Good luck, you will get through this.
you know at that age its really hard, but this is what i suggest. REWARDS - REWARDS - REWARDS. I would take her to Toys R Us and tell her that you are playing a game and that she gets to pick a toy to EARN. Let her pick it and you buy it. Then tell her that if she gets 10 stars on a chart you create, she can have to toy. PLay with it...it worked well with my kids and they love the positive attention
Huggs to you
D. in Canyon Country
This is normal for her age. She is just testing her boundaries. Just keep being consistent, continue putting her on "time out", and tell her "we don't hit, it hurts, owie" and make a sad face. If she starts to scream when she is put in "time out", let her scream. Don't worry about what other people think! You know that you are not hurting her, and that is what matters. By letting her scream and ignoring the "bad behavior" will give her the message that that behavior is not acceptable. When she is calmed down, then it is time for the hugs and a discussion of why her behavior is not acceptable. Also, be sure to praise her for "good" behavior to encourage her to act in a "good" way for attention. Even if you get upset or yell, or any type of emotion when she is acting "bad" gives her the attention that she wants. Just ignore the bad behavior, put her on time out, and after the screaming, then give the talk and attention. This has always worked for me, and I hope it helps you and your daughter. One more thing, try to not to use the word “no” as much. Try different ways of saying it so that she does not hear it as often. For example, if she tries to climb on something that she shouldn’t say something like, “We don’t climb on ___________ we might fall and get hurt”. Or “That is not a toy, let’s keep it where it belongs”, ect…..
Good Luck!
M. *~
A.,
I know what you are going through. My son was the same way. I think they all are. Another mom had posted a website that helped lots. http://www.umext.maine.edu/onlinepubs/htmpubs/4140.htm
They talk about things like not giving your child the chance to say no. Don't ask, just do. If you move fast enough, they just don't have time to object with things like getting dressed. I was giving my son choices, like I thought I was supposed to. At this stage, however, you have to not do that. I had no idea. Anyway, the website helped so much that I bookmarked it on my pc. I hope it helps you, too.
D. D.
Well, I have two of those! What seemed to work for my 6 year old daughter when she was two was to get a spray bottle, fill it with ice cold water and whatever you do don't let her see it, and every time she starts to throw a tantrum or scream....mine was a screamer....spray her real quick in the face with the water bottle and say NO! That way every time she is told no she will start to think twice knowing that a water spray to the face was coming soon after the no. I was told to do that by a doctor and it worked for her. For a while anyway.
As for my son who is 3 and a big tantrum thrower, the spray bottle just make it worse. He has a blanket that I will take from him until he can calm down and act right. That seems to work. So maybe try to find the one thing that your daughter cares about the most and take it away every time she tests you.
Hi A.,
I think you are right in putting her on a timeout. As long as you continue in that pattern every time she does something naughty, she will eventually "get it". CONSISTENCY is the key!!! Keep on doing what you are doing, even if she DOES yell and scream. You can tell her that she is NOT allowed to carry on like that and that she can be OFF timeout if she calms down and stops. Also, I found that the LOUDER my son got/gets (he's now 10), the SOFTER MY voice became. SOMEtimes, I would even "whisper" to him. If you "buy into" a screaming match with your toddler - they have already won. Try the whispering thing - they usually calm down to hear what you are saying! :o) Whatever you do - remain CONSISTENT! She needs to know that you mean BUSINESS!!!
Sincerely,
K.
well she's testing her boundary with you and she's gonna keep doing it to see your response. I often use planned ignoring and redirection. I'm not a big fan of time outs but I do use them occassionally. Don't worry about her screaming, she doing it to see if you will cave in and let her get her way. I'm sure your neighbors have had to disapline their children so they should understand. I read an awesome book called Love and Logic Parenting, you should see if your library has a copy. You can see them online too http://www.loveandlogic.com/
J.
