Mom Heartbroken

Dear J., I can sympathize with you. That has happened with all of my kids.(we are a blended family of 6kids 18,14,13,12,8,4) It seems like just when you need them to look their best something happens and they get banged up at the worst possible moment. And, usually they do this right in front of you and you're right, there's nothing you can do about it except make it better. The guilt is horrible isn't it!! ;) But that's what moms do the best, feel guilty and then make it all better. Good luck with the walking!
M. B.

I know how you feel, my daughter got a black eye on my watch last week. She was reaching for a toy one of my daycare girls was playing with and the little girl grabbed it away from her and hit her in the eye. She got a cut and a bruise. Broke my heart, cause I was sitting nearby when it happened.

Hi J.,
Trust me, I know how you feel. (As does every other mother in the entire world.) My son is not yet two and he's taken more spills while in my care than I like to admit. It just happens and you can't possibly prevent every single accident. I know hurts to see your child with bumps and bruises, but babies are less breakable than we think. When my son had just begun to walk I turned my back on him when I was washing my car and let him stumble right off the front porch--on his head! He's also rolled off our bed (onto a hardwood floor) and recently pushed himself backwards while sitting on a tall chair in our house, his head narrowly missing the corner of a cabinet. I thought I'd die from the grief of hearing him cry and watching the bumps swell, but children do heal and life does go on. Trust me, this too shall pass.
I hardly ever respond to these postings, but I do know how you feel and thought you could use some encouragement. You're doing a great job and you wouldn't be the wonderful mommy that I'm sure you are if you didn't hurt when your child hurts. Take care, R. Kreisman

J., its okay and welcome to motherhood. Accidents happen even when we are right there and see it all. Just remember to try and not make a big production over your child getting hurt (unless seriously hurt). That way any future times of her getting hurt won't be so traumatic for her and not so much drama for you. I have 3 of my own and I lost count how many times they had accidents when they were infants/toddlers. My 2nd child broke his collar bone when he was 2 and there were several people watching him and though we have an idea how it happened, we don't know for sure. Don't stress, it'll be okay (you might want to take a picture of her fat lip, you can show her when she gets older and tell her the story). My baby girl fell and hit her eye on the corner of a footstool right before her 1st birthday ... so her First Birthday pictures show a pretty little girl with a big, ugly, black eye. She laughs at the picture these days (she's 8 now). Anyhow J. you are not alone! Enjoy your day.

J.,
I think all Mom's can understand what your going through. My oldest had an incident much like this and I felt guilty for days afterward. Just remember kids are gonna get hurt but all things heal.
Keep you head up and keep on being a great Mom.
B.

Poor little thing, and poor mom!! I know just how you feel, and be thankful that she didn't have to get stitches. When my daughter was 18 months she fell off my bed and hit her head. She had to get three stitches. The things they had to do to...uugh. They had to strap her to a board and covered her with a blue sheet. All i could do was rub her foot and tell her it was ok. I don't know who cried more that day her or me.

When my kids started walking the coffee table went into the basement to avoid any injuries!

I understand! I got rid of my coffee table after my first child hit herself on it twice. It will happen again so you might have to make the decision to deal with the bumps and bruises or get rid of it. However, if it's not the coffe table it could be something else. My daughter had stitches in her eye @ 2yoa, climbing in a chair and hit the corner.

Needless to say, I have a 13 month old boy and the coffee table is not coming back until he is real secure on his feet. He walks great, but still stumbles.

Welcome to mommyhood!!!!! It won't be the last boo-boo!! Just don't freak out when they happen, it makes the kid freak out even more!! Don't beat yourself up either, all kids hurt themselves, it's inevitable!

God Bless

You are not the only one!! Kids are kids and as much as we TRY to protect them things happen.

When my beautiful baby girl was just 14 months old (she's four now) I was nursing her and it hurt a bit. I looked down and HALF of her front tooth was missing. I went crazy. My friend had watched her that afternoon. I hope I wasn't too crazy asking her what happened, but she didn't know. Not that she wouldn't watch my child well. She does, but Hunter didn't cry or nothing out of the ordinary happened.

I was worrying about her starting kindergarten and being embarrassed. We were able to get it capped with a white cap, but after three (including the two replacements) we decided it added character to her. Also the tooth grew out some and it wasn't quite half any more.

Anyway, sorry for rambling, but that's my sad story. And Hunter hasn't even seemed to notice. No Worries!!

Here's a good one! My 15 month old son swallowed my wedding band last month and had to have surgey to remove it. Of course he did it right in front of me too. We were out of town and completely out of routine and I had put my jewelry in the side pocket of my bag at night. It was zipped up and safe so I thought. We were packing to come home and I put brushes, toothbrushes, etc... in the bag and turned around to get the rest of my stuff and with lightening speed he dove in the pocket and got a hold of whatever he could grab which happened to be the band. He ate it faster than you could know. The xray (which I will save forever) showed it to be high up in the tummy which would be easy to get with a scope the doctor told me. The surgeon he sent us to said that the scope had to be small enough to get down the pipes but would probably be too small to grasp the ring (which it was). Of course we did it the hard way and had to have abdominal surgey and he now has a 1 1/2 inch scar across his belly...a constant reminder of how stupid I was. After 2 kids, the guilt is definitely still there, but I'm learning to cope with the fact that no matter how careful I am, they will still figure out a way to hurt themselves.

If you are looking for "I can't believe this happened on my watch!" stories to ease your guilt, I have two:

1. Oldest daughter about eight months old was laying on the floor of the bathroom while I was standing in front of the mirror putting on make-up. She reaches up, grabs the cord of the curling iron and pulls - YUP! Hot iron fell (HOW STUPID COULD I HAVE BEEN???) and I swooped in to catch it, but the hot tip touched her cheek for a split second before I grabbed it and burned her. She is 23 now and you can't see the scar and she doesn't remember it! I'm almost done feeling guilty.

2. Next daughter in the bath tub, suddenly stands up and slips, before I can even react, hitting her chin on the sharp edge of a round shampoo bottle cap, necessitating stitches. After that, I buy only shampoo with nice rounded caps. She's 21 now and doesn't remember either, but has a scar on the underside of her chin. No guilt relief where where a scar exists.

Feel better now?

J.,

Sweetheart you aren't this first to have something like that happen to you nor will you be the last. Your daughter is getting to that stage where she wants to be independent and yet we as mother don't want them too. Just realize that they will fall and get scrapes and bruises and get hurt. As long as mommy or daddy is there to make it all better then they are fine. Whatever you do don't make a real big deal of her falls. Just tell her to get up and try again. If ya need anyother advice don't hesitate to e-mail me at ____@____.com

I know it's hard to see their bumps and bruises. And there's not a lot you can do about some of these. You've already seen how easy it is to happen even when your right there. I do have one suggestion though. Maybe you could put the coffee table away until the little one is more sure on her feet? Because I do daycare, I got rid of mine years ago. We don't have end tables either. We don't have lamps or anything sitting round that may be tripped on or fallen into. It's just easier.

Suzi

J., hon, don't worry about this. It's part of growing up and part of learning to walk. And she'll have several more tumbles before her feet get steady. Rest assured that little ones tend to heal quickly, and you might want to snap a quick picture, because by the time Daddy gets home, it may look so good that he'll doubt it ever happened.
I know it's the scariest thing EVER for your child to be bleeding or have a fever shoot sky high. Generally with the bleeding, unless it's a head (skull) wound, it's not too serious, especially if it's "self induced". In other words, at her age, she's not going to fall hard or fast enough to seriously hurt herself (provided that she doesn't fall on a sharp object).
The cold wet washcloth was the right thing today, and maybe if you can get her to suck on some popsicles today, that will help also.

Relax and enjoy her!

I feel your pain. I have a 6 mo old and he is just starting to crawl and bumped his head at his grandma's on her entertainment center last weekend. Things can happen so fast. It's not your fault, you are a good mommy and she knows that. Take care~
J.

As soon as they start to move, the danger of injury in never far behind. My oldest is 2 1/2 and we have been to the emergency twice for stitches. He fell in the tub, while I was resting (pregnant with his sister) and Daddy was in charge. This resulted in a cut near his eye. He fell again while I was home alone with both of them and he missed a step while he was walking up to the kitchen from the family room. Both times were awful, but he was fine in no time. (Mommy took a little longer.) My daughter will be one later this month and is walking all over, more successfully at some times than others. I hope we avoid any major injuries with her, but I know that may be more wishful thinking than anything. Give your daughter a hug and know that no matter how closely you are watching them, sometimes things just happen. You are a great Mom! Keep enjoying your time with her. I know I am enjoying mine.

Oh gosh no, you are not alone, all crawlers and toddlers, well, ALL kids, go through these things at all ages....falling into things, running into things and just being clumsey as they adjust to their growth at every stage. Don't feel bad Hon, it happens. If you are worried about the table being a hazzard, remove it or put it against a wall out of the way and give her that space to play in...or you can tape some padding to it, it's not pretty, but it's safe! lol. Some thing that helps with a fat lip is popsicles, it will help the swelling go down and numb the area And they taste good and will take their mind off of what happened. Good luck and I hope she feels better real soon! :)

You are definetly not the only one. My daughter was about 10 months old and was playing peek-a-boo with my husband IN THE WASHING MACHINE!! Everything was fine, she was having fun, and we were all laughing, until she poked her little head up and caught her two bottom teeth on the rim. We had to take her to the ER, and they pulled them the rest of the way out. I cried for DAYS, anytime I would look at her with those two little teeth gone. She is five now, and her lastest thing is to stick her tongue out between her bottom teeth. I can't imagine her smile without that little gap in the bottom row.
Keep smiling,
J.

I think it must be the protective instinct of being a mother that we feel we can protect our children from all harm and when we don't we feel like we have failed. Then having a little ones fat lip to look at is a reminder of our failure. I say this having the same thing happen to me. My son, who was two at the time, was on the couch and I sat in the chair maybe two feet away. He was playing around and somehow come down on the arm of the couch and I guess bit his lip. Well, it bleed and bleed even after putting a wash cloth on it. Then the very next morning, this one I didn't see, he was playing on the small slide that is on his bed and somehow, I think with "help" from his sister, hit the window sill. It was his lip again! It was horrible, we ended up taking him to the doctor. No stitches were needed but he had the biggest, red fattest lips. I hated to take him out, I didn't want people to see his lips, I guess because I was afraid of what they'd think. All this to say, NO you are not the only one!!! This has happend to I would image almost every mom. I'm sure you will get many more stories like yours and mine. Take comfort in knowing that even the very best moms can't protect their children from every bump and scrap. Don't worry about dad, you know he loves your little china doll, fat lip and all!

All 3 of my sons have scars over their right eyebrows from bumps at the age of 2. When my oldest son was 6 months old we were getting ready to go get our picture taken. He was sitting up in the living all dressed ready to go, and I went back into my room to put my clothes on. No sooner did I get back into my room I heard a thud (we have hard wood floors) and a cry. I ran back into the living room and he was still seated in the exact same position, but his lip was bleeding everywhere and he was crying. Needless to say we had to reschedule our picture appointment. All of my kids had teeth at 4 months old. Teeth, Hardwood floors, and beginning to crawl...this is the perfect recipe for busted lips!

J.,
I have two children of my own, a daughter (5) and a son (3).
When my daughter was around 1, she busted her lip open on the hearth. It was early in the morning, and my husband was sleeping in, but of course, I was hysterical, and ran up the stairs, my shirt covered in blood from my little baby girl. It was very traumatic, and I felt like a horrible mom since I was right there and could not prevent it! My son, when he was around the same age, was intrigued with water and liked to play in the sinks. He fell off the toilet where he was precariously perched, and split his lip open so bad that even my husband thought it would be a good idea to go the the ER.
I'm happy to report that both children are alive and well, and have since become much more adroit at avoiding such disasters. There are times, though that they get hurt and bleed, and it never ceases to amaze me the depth of my wretchedness at the sight of it! I bet every single child has had similar situations, but they sure are hard to stomach!

My darling son fell and konked his head on our dining room table leg when he was about 15 months old and had to get stitches in his eyebrow! Kids fall down. Don't beat yourself up over it. She'll be good as new soon.

M. G

My 2 year old (now almost 5) pulled her head away from me while we were brushing her teeth. I don't know why, because she never seemed to mind getting them brushed. Anyway, when she did it, her mouth hit the countertop and chipped her two front teeth. We had to go to the dentist and get them sanded down because they were so sharp. It makes for an interesting smile :-) At least they were not permanent teeth!