Mom/Grandma Trying to Get Advise for Daughter

I can only offer advice on the breastfeeding. I was new to it last year, too and found breastfeeding in public (in the beginning) more difficult. I was outraged at how difficult it was to find a comfortable place. I fed the baby in the car before going in to a store (which I hated in the freezing cold winter) at the beginning and then realized the untapped potential of the fitting rooms. Although not the most comfortable, it was a place to sit in privacy. All she has to say to the clerk at the fitting rooms is that she is going to feed the baby. They shouldn't say one thing about it (at least at Wal-mart or Target).
I did call Target and suggested that they make one of the fitting rooms a lactation room and how it would be beneficial to their business. I think if more people called, it would help push the issue. (Hint, hint mamas)

Bless you for trying to help your daughter. Good luck to her.

You should encourage her to talk to her dr about the first issue. There are a variety of creams or medications available to help with this.

For nursing look for a nursing cover called Hooter HIder. I always just used a blanket, but my friend has one and it seems to work really well. It hangs around the mom's neck, but it has something stiff in the top seam that helps keep the fabric off the baby although it's completely covering. You would have to be standing right up over the mom in order to see anything.

I'm not sure about the first issue, but as far as the nursing goes. I've never covered my children, it is perfectly feasible to nurse your child without exposing an entire breast. I've nursed everywhere from a part, airport, restaurant. Most of the times people don't notice, I think it makes it more obvious when someone has a big blanket drapped over yourself. If she really feels uncomfortable then find a family bathroom or lounge.

I can't reply to the first part, but I do believe children will learn what mom wants them to. I never covered up my children with a blanket, but I nursed them in public without it. When they were still learning to nurse, very young, and they needed the whole breast exposed to be able to find the nipple, I took them to someplace more private, or where I knew nobody would mind. Once they knew what they were doing (2 weeks to a month), it was very easy to be discreet. Once they got older and preferred to "play" while they nursed, they started lifting my shirt (10 months or so?), I started nursing in more private places (the church nursery, rather than in the sanctuary during service). Anyway--it seems if you start using a blanket, and do it consistently, baby learns this is what you do.

Hi D.

I have not had low estrogen but I had that lovely rash all over my body . And ended up with a c-section after a long labor . I nuresed my son and he did not like to be covered . So I used a sling . The baby would be in the sling and while he was nursing know one knew . Some times I could get a blanket over my shoulder so it covered up with out covering the baby .

The vaginal dryness was normal for me, once the postpartum bleeding stopped. Hormones are all over the place after being pregnant, and breastfeeding seems to bring on the dryness for several months. I breastfed my first daughter for a year, and the dryness lingered until she weaned. With the second, it went away at about 6 months, even though I am still breastfeeding her exclusively.

For the nursing in public, some babies just won't tolerate being covered up (and trying will only result in drawing attention to the activity you are trying to be discreet about). If she is self-conscious about her belly showing, a Bella Band (similar to a tube top) can be worn under her shirt. I have never covered my babies when nursing in public, but I also don't care what anyone else might see or think about it. I can only suggest either totally focusing on the baby so she won't notice any looks she might get, or practicing in front of a mirror so she knows that she isn't letting anything show, and then start talking to people, watching the world go by and in general acting as she would if she were just holding a sleeping baby.

Congratulations on the new granddaughter!

I had the dryness issue after my second baby (born 12/07). I thought it would just go away after awhile, but it didn't so I went back to my midwife when my son was 10 weeks old. She recommended using over-the-counter RepHresh (to help with ph balance) and also gave me a prescription of Premarin, a vaginal cream with estrogen in it. I think I had to use the cream every other day and use the RepHresh every 3rd day or so. It did help quite a bit as the dryness was pretty uncomfortable for me, and I felt much better after a couple of weeks. I breastfed my 2nd son for 8 months during which I think I used the prescription for a couple of months and it didn't affect my milk supply at all.

If she hasn't already seen her doctor or midwife I would suggest she make an appointment because they will check how low her estrogen level is and will prescribe an effective amount estrogen to help her. I can tell you from experience she'll feel much better once she gets the prescription.

Good luck!

I was fairly nonchalant about nursing in public. However, I also had some great nursing tanks from Glamour Mom. I think they're pricey, but a couple will do. Only your nipple gets exposed and that gets covered by the baby so it is hard to tell without a close look.

http://www.glamourmom.com/ you can see the tops in action :)

I didn't have this issue until I had #5. She was my first girl and something about girl hormones is different. It is a hormone thing and will correct itself in time.

My advice is to "baby" that part of your body. Give it lots of air (by going with out unders for a while every day), and to wait. It may take 3-4 months before it starts to feel normal again. Meanwhile have her just relax and enjoy her little bundle.

As far as nursing in public with a kid who hates to cover up- been there several times. And with a little bit of careful timing (nursing right before you go out) and some just plain "I don't care what others think, I am doing the best for my baby", they'll both get through it.

And if she ever has to deal with pupps again- use dandelion root tea (several times per day). It tastes awful (add honey) but really works. I had that with my last kid too.

Have a wonderful day!
R.- mom to 5 beautiful, special, children

I don't have any advice on the low estrogen other than it is normal for nursing mothers. As far as the nursing in public goes - my advice is going to be very different than anything else you've gotten so far! I have nursed both of my children and I am not comfortable nursing in public. period. I just don't do it. Don't get me wrong, I do not have a problem with others that want to and I support their decision. For me, it just isn't something I am going to do. So, I spent the money on a good pump from Medella (she'll need it if she is going back to work) and I pump about once per day. I keep a few bottles in the fridge for when we go somewhere and I freeze the rest for daycare. It has worked very well for us. This also allows me the freedom to get out for awhile for some mommy free time and let Daddy take care of feeding the baby.

If she goes this route - don't waste your money on a cheap pump. Spend the money on a Medella pump in style - it will be the best money you've spent on a "baby product" and the folks at Medella are the best with tips, support, and their customer service rocks!

It is normal for a nursing woman to have low estrogen and vaginal dryness. I had pretty bad vaginal dryness until my DD was about 18 months and my cycles were trying to return. Every woman gets their period back at different times but she should notice a huge difference in dryness when her cycles come back. My DD nursed a lot and still does so she seems to have a bigger impact on my cycles.

For the nursing, have her try wearing layers and of course a nursing bra/tank. That way when she pulls up her shirt, there will be another shirt underneath to cover her tummy, the top shirt will act to cover the top of the breast, and the baby should be able to nurse without much skin showing. Honestly though, nursing moms should be able to nurse wherever they want and they shouldn't have to suffocate the baby with a blanket for fear that someone may catch a glimpse of her breast. Our society really needs to relax about this as for some reason it is ok for women to dress with their breasts almost exposed, but people get offended if a woman is trying to feed her baby (their intended purpose!), kind of irks me. But I'm getting off topic now. With practice your daughter should get the hang of nursing in public and like PP have said, no one will even notice.

A good place to practice nursing in public is at a Le Leche League meeting. If you daughter is interested have her go to www.llli.org
It's also a great place to get breastfeeding advice and meet other women.

Low estrogen levels can cause a whole host of problems, "rawness" being one of them. A low-dose estrogen birth control pill or hormone replacement therapy pill or patch could theoretically help bring her estrogen levels back up. But I don't know what caused her low estrogen levels. Mine were caused by the Depo-Provera birth control shot, which is progesterone-based. Have her talk to her doctor about what caused the low estrogen levels and what can be done to fix it. Living long-term with low estrogen is NO FUN.

As to nursing, I was pretty casual about it, partly because I HAD to be. My son HATED to be covered up. When I was in public and felt I needed to be more discreet than was really possible, I usually found a corner to sit in, and faced away from the crowds. In stores, they will often let you use the fitting room or another private area if you request it. I hated nursing in bathrooms, so I often just tried to face in a direction that would expose the least people to an eyeful. But really, nursing is so natural, there's no reason to have to hide it!

Have her try some nursing shirts. They will cover everything that needs to be covered...tummy, chest and breast... just enough opening the part needed. Then she can have a blanket on hand to cover if needed. There are also places everywhere where moms can nurse with some privacy. But if she is ok with doing it where ever she land, as I was, then she will get the hang of it and no one will be able to see a thing. And like I always said if they see something and got offended.... then they shouldn't have been looking!!! I hope that all of her other issues work out and that she enjoys breast feeding for a long time to come!

1. As far as the dryness, it will probably get better once her hormones get back to normal levels. If it is a big problem she could talk to the doc about an estrogen vaginal cream (not sure if it is ok to use since she is breastfeeding)

2. I was always self-conscience about breastfeeding in public. I would use dressing rooms a lot. Some of the newer dept. stores have sitting area in the women's restroom too. I was still covered up and I would still get rude looks from women sometimes, but that is something you just have to get over.

I had something similar when my 3rd child was born. Doctor said it was from the hormones. Well she is 6 months old and I no longer have that problem. I have the opposite. LOL. Sorry. didn't know how to say it any other way. LOL. My daughter also HATES to be covered even still at 6 months. She has to be able to see my face. We have worked with this in public by putting a blanket over her but I make a little hole so she can see me. I kinda form a little wall with the blanket that sits behind her head and covers her enough. Most people don't see anything unless they happen to stand RIGHT over top of me. I LOVE the idea that otehrs had of getting a nursing tank top. I want one!!!! LOL. that would make life SO much easier for me mostly because I am out in public alot and around teenagers. hope this helps

Mine daughter in particular did not like being covered when she was nursing either. Who can blame her? I just pulled my shirt down enough so that nothing was showing. I would try to shield us during the latch on process. I think our culture needs to become more accepting of nursing in public, so I was not worried about what others thought. It was much more comfortable for both of us that way.

I can only give advice on nursing, so I will leave it up to the other moms to help with the other questions. BUt if baby doesn't like to be covered up during nursing-- it does get pretty warm-- your granddaughter could try to purchase a few nursing tanks or tops to help baby nurse discreetly. Now that is not to say that she will be covered up-- but it may help ease her into nursing. I liked Motherwear because they have some very nice working outfits and casual wear that I used throughout nursing... but there are others out there. I have also seen Glamourmom advertised in magazines.

None of my kids liked being (covered up either. By the time #3 came along I was more than fearless about nursing in public. Your daughter will get more comfortable too.

As for PUPPS, if that hasn't gone away (it usually does wright after delivery), she should talk to her ob-gyn and ask for the steroid cream to help alleviate her symptoms.

Best of luck,

E.

WOW! Lot's of issues here. First of all, none of them are way out of the ordinary so don't worry.

1. Dryness. I had bad dryness until I stopped breastfeeding my first baby (14 months!). It was better with the second. Good ole' KY jelly works great.

2. PUPP, this is very annoying but harmless. With my 2nd I got it really bad all over and the bumps were itchy and the size of dimes! This took a while to go away - probably 4-6 weeks post partum. Nothing really worked for me on this so I just left them alone and tried not to scratch.

3. Nursing in public. As she gets more comfortable with nursing, she'll be able to do it anywhere. My babies used to get too hot if I covered them up so I would just wear a nursing camisol under every outfit so I could pull up my outer shirt and then pull down the camisol and then you're always covered.

Good luck to her and congrats on your new Grandbaby!

For the nursing issue, the nursing tank underneath a top layer such as a button down shirt works great to cover skin. Once the baby is latched on she will be almost totally covered. Also, the slings work great for nursing on the go. I could shop, walk around the mall, grocery store with baby in a sling and nursing the whole time and no one had a clue.

As far as nursing goes, your DIL can wear a tank top with another looser blouse over it, and then lift up the tank top from the bottom up. By lifting up her shirt, versus pulling it down or undoing top buttons, she will be more discreet. Also, has she tried a nursing cover? They are like big aprons that fasten around the mamas neck, and sort of tent out over the baby. They are loose enough that the baby and mama will be covered, but the baby won't necessarily have fabric tightly against her.

This is easy for me to say, but I would say, for the most part, don't go in public, or do so sparingly! I hate shopping anyway, I had my groceries delivered when I was breastfeeding. I ate out a few times and I went into the bathrooms to nurse. I did the same at church. I know women *have the right* to nurse in public, but I was never comfortable with it. If I was visiting family or friends, I went to an unoccupied room.

Ok, so maybe not everyone wants to be at home like I was... At church or other similar events, your DIL can sit in the back. At restaurants, she can sit facing a wall.

Have your DIL "practice" breastfeeding in front of you. You could advise her how to hold the baby and adjust her blouse so that she is discreet. I just saw a mom breastfeeding at the library. She didn't use a blanket and wasn't exposing herself. She did have 2 tops on, and was lifting them up from the bottom to nurse.

As far as dryness goes, I was dry the entire time I was nursing--this is totally normally. They do sell vaginal suppositories if she gets uncomfortable. Also, Evening Primrose Oil is a great vaginal lubricant. I used it when I was pregnant for perineal massage to prevent tearing during delivery. (It worked!) You can buy the gel capsules and break them open to get the oil out, or you can just buy a bottle of the oil, but that is harder to find.

Good luck.