Miscarriage - Westbury, NY

I miscarried my 2nd pregnancy at 9 wks. The baby stopped developing at 5 weeks, and I started to bleed at 8 weeks. They pathology showed that a under-developed egg became fertilized (this shouldn't happen, but it does from time to time). The midwives recommended different things. One said that I should wait 3 mos and the other told me I could start as soon as I was ready, but to wait one cycle so that they would be more easily able to date the pregnancy. I did wait the one cycle and got pregnant just 6 weeks after the miscarriage. The doctors office didn't treat me any more differently then any other pregnancy, because miscarriage is so common. But I did request an ultrasound early on to see that the baby was developing as it should be. I did have a difficult pregnancy. I had bleeding problems (unrelated to the pregnancy) and it made it very stressful for me. But I made it through and delivered a healthy, happy baby girl just 10-11 mos after the miscarriage. You need to remember this. Miscarriage is very hard on women. Morn the lose of this child, cry, scream, yell, rant and rave. But give yourself time. Don't start until you are mentally ready to start again. With the miscarriage, I didn't even have sore breasts. I had nothing. With my son I got sore boobs and tired (I could have gone to be at 9 in the 1st trimester). But I never really felt pregnant with him. My pregnancy was cake. So don't go by what your feeling. It will happen, just give it time.

Hi... I was 13 wks when I had my M/C. They did a sonogram and there was no heartbeat. I had the D&C 4 days later. They told me the baby died at 10 wks. I felt the same way.. I didn't feel poregnant anymore and everyone told me I was crazy for thinking that so when it happened, it validated what I was feeling. I did get pregnant within 6 months. We weren't really "trying" bc I was so distraught over the whole thing but then it happened. When we did decide to try again, it happened within 2-3 months. We got the results back from the lab that the baby was triploid. (69 xxy) That means it was tripled chromosomes. (you're only supposed to have 46) It would've been a boy, BC of the y chromosome in there.(69 xxx would be a girl.)but they told me the baby had no chance at living. It was a heart with a bunch of cells around it. No one in my family ever had a M/C so it was hard. My second pregnancy they did sonograms more, mainly bc I was paranoid and called for EVERY LITTLE THING! And that's okay to do. My dr's understood and were great. And 15 months after I had my daughter, I got pregnant again, with a boy, and I was better with that pregnancy, not as scared. You will get through it, I know how you feel and its so hard. There were no precautions, bc the m/c wasn't bc of anything I did. They'll tell you what to do. Hope things work out for you and take it easy. It's still new.

One thing I do have to say is I hated when people tried to justify the M/C by saying, "it usually happens with the 1st one." That just made me so angry bc thats not what was supposed to happen to me. (at least that's what I thought.) I blamed myself for a long time until I got the results. You may never know what happened but it will happen again for you.

Take care... I hope I helped in some way.
C.

I am so sorry for your loss. This is my story. I have 3 healthy children and have had 3 losses. The first was diagnosed at the 11th week and was found to be a blighted ovum. I agreed to a D&C and got pregnant 2 cycles later with a healthy baby. I was monitored a bit more closely, had bloodwork done right away and an earlier than usual ultrasound.

My second loss occured this past June and was lost in my 17th week, having passed away around the 15th week. We chose to induce labor and deliver our baby whole. It was very healing to be able to see, hold, and bury our baby. We were anxious to try again as sson as I was healed. I conceived 2 cycles later, this one being lost in my 8th week, measuring 6. We again, chose to deliver our baby whole, at home and I got to hold, see and will bury my baby yet again. I never made it to my first prenatal.

The way it worked, was I had scheduled my prenatal after the 8 week mark, because your risk of loss drops drmatically after the 8th week. Every organ is formed and functioning (though primitive) so if anything will go wrong, it most likely has at this point. That way, if you get a heartbeat at 8 weeks, you can mostly rest assured it will be healthy. You have a high chance of loss before then, so I didnt want a heartbeat until I was out of the "danger zone." I will make the same choice with our next pregnancy, to not request an u/s until after the 8th week, though bloodwork will be done early on, as in the last 2 pregnancies. I have PCOS, so tend to have hormonal issues that are best caught early.

We did have genetic testing on our stillborn, though because he had been passed away inside me for 2-3 weeks, they were unable to get any healthy cells to grow to give us an answer. Our new baby will be tested as well, but we'll most likely get the same answer. We birthed him on the 24th, so it will be a few more weeks too. In the meantime, we went for genetic testing ourself, which did determine a chromosomal abnormality between us. It does put us at a slightly higher risk for miscarriage (all abnormalities have different risks) but not so high that we wouldnt be able to continue having children. She said the "odds are in our favor" to have more healthy babies.

Hang in there. Its a bumpy ride and I hope you get the answers you need. If not, I hope you come to find peace with your loss. It takes time, and now we're doing it all over again, not having even healed completely from the last one.

Dear C.,

I am so sorry for your loss I know what a terrible time this can be. I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy as well and had to have a DNC. This was 25 years ago so I am not sure if doctors advice has changed but this is what happened to me. I went for a sonogram at around 12 weeks because the doctor could not find a heartbeat in the office. I remember telling the doctor that my nausea had gone away, my breasts were no longer sore and I felt so much better. He looked worried and ordered a sonogram. The baby had died, I am not sure when so he ordered a DNC because the pregnancy was not going to abort on its own. It was probably the most difficult time in my life. Back then they didn't have separate wings for this type of situation so after the procedure they put me on the maternity floor in a room with a mom who had just given birth. Talk about cruel, I insisted on leaving right away because it was like putting a kid in a candy shop. Anyway the doctor did not know what had happened and no tests were performed. He suggested I wait for three months and I did. I became pregnant with no problem 3 months later and gave birth to a beautiful son who is now 24 with absolutely no complications. It was a perfectly normal pregnancy, I was not considered high risk, no restrictions or precautions. Believe me until they found a heartbeat with this pregnancy I was very nervous but everything worked out great. What you said about not feeling pregnant sounds just like what happened to me so I am sure that was a sign. I know your emotions are probably all over the place first sadness, and then anger (why me) but trust me you will be fine. Once you discuss this with other women you will be shocked at how many women this has happened to and will not feel so alone. About 4 years later I became pregnant with my daughter without any trouble the only complication I had was I had a tiny bit of bleeding in the beginning (which freaked me out) but they did a sonogram and she was fine and is now 19 years old. I know it is a difficult time but once you try again I am sure you will have no problems. Good luck to you and your husband with your future family!!

Hi C.. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I am glad you are reaching out for support from other moms.

I had a miscarriage, also. When my son was 12 months old. We tried for #2, and sadly lost the baby around 8 weeks. I did not need a D&C. And no testing was done. It wasnt offered to me.

We were lucky enough to get pregnant with our first child right away, as well as with the second pregnancy. The second pregnancy felt "off." With the first one I KNEW I was pregnant. It wasnt a shock to get a positive test result. With the second pregnancy I was SHOCKED by the positive result. It didnt feel right to me. I didnt feel pregnant. I had no morning sickness.

After I miscarried, my OB advised us to wait a few cycles before trying to get pregnant again. And we took his advice.

Two months later, we tried again, and conceived. As soon as I had a positive pregnancy test, my OB order blood work to check my hormones levels. And then I went a few days later, and then a few days after that. To make sure that my hormones were increasing. Luckily, they were.

At 8 weeks, I had a sonogram that showed a heartbeat, and everything looked normal. For then on, the pregnancy progressed at normal. There was no special treatment, everything was the same as for my first pregnancy.

She was born, happy and healthy. (She is now 2)

Only you know when you will be ready to try again. Best wishes for you and your family.

Sorry to say I know how you feel, and very sorry for your loss. I miscarried twice this year, and getting pregnant for me requires the intervention of infertility specialists. So my first one was at 6 weeks, when hear beat is developing, and mine never developed a heart beat. I had a D&C but actually started to miscarry while at the office waiting for the D&C. So they were not able to collect enough tissue to identify the cause. With the second one, it was a matter of days. Because I've been working with specialists, I am monitored very closely, so they knew I was pregnant right away (at about 2 or 3 weeks)and then two days later my hormone levels dropped and I got my period a week later. I am going to try again within the next couple of months.
As for not feeling pregnant, don't worry about that at all. Different women feel differently during pregnancy. I didn't feel very pregnant with my son, and often said I don't feel pregnant. I wasn't sick, hormonal, or moody. I did develop a strong sense of smell and a strong desire to eat salads towards the end of the 1st trimester that lasted for almost the rest of the pregnancy. I delivered a very health baby boy 3 weeks early who will be 3 this x-mass eve. Don't be discouraged and keep on trying. Your Dr can tell you when its safe to try again. They test your blood to make sure your hormone levels are back down to pre pregnancy levels. Good luck.

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad to see that you're in good spirits and hope that you get pregnant again quickly! Good luck!