Is this something new? I travel a lot for work (and have done so since my daughter was 4 months old). Some homecomings are better than others, but she definitely went through a phase when I thought I would have to quit my job--add in a couple of ear infections and I was about to lose my mind.
My best defense was consistent discipline and scheduling--we definitely have a routine when we are together. You could be, unwittingly, upsetting her sense of order (which is highly developmentally correlated at this age).
Only you really know what your child can understand, mine surprises me everyday, but don't set yourself up for a willful child that require a detailed explanation for everything. Early on I have purged the "okay" from the end of my sentences...afterall, I am not really asking her permission!
It is okay to need OR want to work. I don't have family close by either, so every day is a challenge. Sure, I'd love to stay home, but it isn't an option irregardless of my debt, or things, or whether or not my ex-husband decides to pay his child support each month. Good luck...this too shall pass.