MIL Help with Babysitting While Away Traveling

The best you can do is make the schedule and go over it with her before you go. If you feel she may not take well to you giving it to her, tell your husband beforehand and have him tell her with you or just have him go through it with her. Once you are gone it is out of your hands, and you should just try to enjoy your trip. If you want to check in with her, it is probably best to have your husband call her and discuss it since it is his mother and he should be able to handle it with his own mom. If she likes total power and control like you say, then you can just do your best beforehand with your plan and have hubby check up on how she is doing with it once you are away. All in all, I would not worry about it too much since there is not much you can do once you hand her the reins.

I completely agree with the posts that recommend leaving a helpful list of suggestions per child and leave it at that. My parents watch my kids a couple of times each year for a few days and just letting them know a few basic routines, food likes/dislikes, etc helps them keep things running without being overly controlling.

This is one of those rough questions. Do I ask for help and then accept it for what it is help or do I try to control all issues that might happen. If I was you I would make a list of the regular routine and then just try and relax while your gone. If you try to enforce that she feed them exactly like you do or follow your exact specifications everyone is going to be unhappy. If you want them done exactly your way you may need to get a nanny type person that you pay. Grandmothers tend to let little ones do special things "stay up a little later, eat snacks to close to dinner" etc. if your only going to be gone a couple days then just try to let things happen. you may be pleasently surprised at how well they go.

I like Sheri's idea - leave the list of each kid's routine, do's and dont's and thn let it ride! She's been your MIL a long time (high school sweethearts is so cool!) and you know how she is - you aren't going to change her now...ha!

Good luck!

N.

My grandmother cared for me a lot when I was a child, so I tend to give the same answer to all of these questions. Feel free to ignore! But I really think today's parents need to back off of the grandparent/child relationship a little, especially when the grandparents are helping out with childcare (usually unpaid.)

I do understand, believe me - I have young kids of my own. But I also feel like you have to let go sometimes unless it's a safety issue. Also, your husband is an adult and a parent. He and his mom should be able to read a schedule without any additional help.

Hi C.,

My husband and I traveled just after Christmas for a couple of nights and used my parents and in-laws for childcare. I created a document with the daily schedule for each child, in detail, which included the exact routines for nap/bedtime. (My kids are a bit younger and still love their routines.) I also created a menu plan for every meal and snack (and then made sure all the foods were in the house) Some may think that this is over-controlling, but both my parents and in-laws found it very helpful that they didn't have to figure-out what to feed the children at each meal and snack.

I knew my parents would probably deviate from the schedule (and even the meal plan!), but at least I had provided it. That's one of the benefits to being a Grandparent I guess! But all of them have learned that the kids behave much better when they stick to their normal daily schedule, and that's what they want to help provide.

Best of luck!

EDIT: Jen's judgmental response (above) got me thinking. I suppose it also depends upon how well-versed your MIL is with caring for children in general. My parents and in-laws are all between the ages of 67-76 yrs old ...and none have been around a toddler for over 35+ years. They had no idea how to care for my kids. Since you know your MIL's strengths and weaknesses, you can leave the appropriate guidelines for her. You should never feel bad about trying to provide information that will make your MIL's job easier and more enjoyable! You want her time with your kids to be wonderful!

I would have a typed list of activities/suggestions regarding each child. Leave it where she can see it. For all she knows, the list is for the teenager that is helping out after school. Good luck and have a great trip!