so i am working 2 days a week, and my mil is watching our son. it works well, she loves him and he loves being there. no problems there.
however, my son is old enough now that hes telling us places he went with grandma, and the problem is that not only am i unaware that they are going to these places, but shes doing it without even asking if its ok that she does this. am i overreacting, or do you think that she should ask me, or at least tell me, that shes running my son all over hither and thither during the day. i mean, shouldnt i, as his mom, and his dad also, know where our son is during the day?? i mean, its not like we would really say no to any of her requests to drive somewhere, but where did she get the idea that she doesnt have to ask us about it? its making me really not want her to watch him because i dont have a clue what shes doing or why shes doing it.
i could complain about her leather seats in her car, and the fact that she thinks her foam pad is going to keep the seat from sliding all over, but im solving that problem by buying a seat non-skid piece for her car and ours as well.... so at least im solving that one, for the bargain price of 20$. LOL
UPDATE: our son is almost 4. :) i like the responses. i do agree she doesnt have to get my permission if shes going to the thrift shop or mcondalds or something. but as someone else said (and i LOVE this) i am not getting ANY information at the end of the day. not what he ate, IF he ate well, if he went #2, where they went, im hearing this stuff from my son. the other day they went to 'the farm" - which is a family friends place. no problem, but i heard it on the way home, in the car from my son.
its rare that she would make plans at the last minute, so i know she knows what shes doing ahead of time. she could at least just mention it to us so we knew. i guess im just nervous not knowing where he is during the day. for a lot of reasons. we dont eat pork/seafood, and she does, and i have been clear that she does not feed him those things, but i dont know if she respects that or not. we dont want to make a big deal out of halloween, and i especially dont want him exposed to the more scary aspects of the day, but they were going to a party today (which at least i was told about, but i thought she should have asked if it was ok.... especially because the people are smokers and i dont want my son around that either....)
i dont know, maybe i need to cut her some slack because brody dose like to run out the door when i get there. but i think theres usually enough time to at least say "we went ___ and ___ and he ate well and did/didnot poop".
anyway, i love the responses. ;) keep em coming.
well, so far nothing has changed. i still dont hear anything about where they go during the day.
its not really that shes running to the grocery store (which is a 20 mile drive!!) or something, sometimes they go to a neighbor's house, i mean, stuff you KNOW shes planned, but should be able to tell me about in the AM.
its fine that she takes him, i would just prefer to know about it....
I'm more concerned that she's not telling you what they do during the day. Every single time anyone has watched my son (family or not, paid or not) I got a blow by blow account of the day. Which, of course, includes outings.
I guess it depends on what she is doing - is she just running her normal errands? When I ask my MIL to watch my kids, I leave her the car seats and know that she may be needing to run errands and stuff like that. I do ask her if she has any errands to run that day and she will usually tell me, but I don't expect for her to ask my permission to do what she needs to do when she is doing me a favor. I personally have someone that comes to my home to watch my children during the day while I work, I pay them, I make the rules, and everything works out great.....what does your husband think about this? I think that you should consider that she did raise your husband and obviously you think he is a good person because you married him, I am sure she is capable of taking your son with her to run her errands. I am sure that she is not trying to HIDE any of this stuff from you, it is probably just non important every day stuff that she thinks is no big deal. If you want to know if she is planning to run errands that day, I think that you should just ask her when you drop off your son. I think it is perfectly fine for you to ask her that so that you can be aware of where they may be during the day.
I think it depends on if you are paying her for her childcare services-if you are paying her then I think you do have a right to dictate her schedule more. If she is keeping your child for free then you probably have to put up with it or find someone else to keep your child. My sister kept my daughter from 10 weeks old to 18 months old and she went about her day as if she would have with her own child...i.e. if she had errands to run-she did them with my daughter in tow. I had no problems with that.
How old is your child? Is the car seat safe? I have leather seats and never had a problem if it was installed correctly. I think I did use a non-skid pad for the booster & rear-facing....
Do you or hubby "check in" with her throughout the day? That might help. Not sure what "hither & thither" entails....grocery store? Casino? Gun shop? Liquor store? LOL
I think it's great that she has no trouble incorporating him into her normal daily routines if that's what she's doing?
If she is watching your son for free, I don't think she should be expected to stay put all day or ask permission every time she has an errand to run. If she is going out of town, that would be different IMO.
