Merging Families- What Helped You

What a great opportunity for a wonderful life lesson! Life is difficult sometime, this will be one of those times for you, your family and theirs. But aren't you lucky to have someone share a roof over your heads in these tough times. There will be other trying times your child will be exposed to but this one will be great practice because you all have to get through it together.
The role modeling you do will be important - every house has their own rules and accepting these rules is what you all have to do in exchange for their generosity. Your son will survive. He will learn great lessons in empathy, gratitude, sharing, social skills, conflict resolution, problem solving, all things everyone has to learn in life. Just be matter of fact with your son about how different things will be, validate his and everyone else's feelings about it and prepare the best that you can.
The worst thing you can do is coddle him and try to keep things the same because they won't be. Remember, change and acceptance is good - it often produces wonderful growth if you are looking for it and open to it. Good luck!

Embrace the opportunity. Rules and change are good for families to learn to grow and tide through difficult times. We've had to move in with family at times too, but we've always come out stronger.

Not watching cable tv, playing computer or eating sugary candy during the day isn't going to harm your son. In fact, studies show it's actually better for children, though it may take a bit to get used to for him. You can give him little treats when you go out for lunch or at nighttime in your room if you want, there are plenty of sugar free treats available too.

He will eventually get used to sharing a room and the rough housing. But talk to the parents if they can help curb their kids into allowing you all private space too.

It will probably be harder for the adults. Just sit down with the adults you are moving in with and establish a schedule... cooking nights, groceries, cleaning dishes...

When we lived with family, we had our own cabinet for our own personal food, but we also contributed to groceries. We took turns cooking dinners, whoever didn't cook, cleaned up the kitchen. We took turns having tv and computer time, we learned to be patient and forgiving and to not get offended easily, we learned to give each other private space as well We had curfew times and rules on cleaning up the home. The more you figure out before a problem arises, the better off and more peaceful things will be.

Hi P,
You are in a tough situation. At 7 1/2 most kids dont understand compromise or adapt well to such changes. It wont be easy but im assuming that moving in with them is probably your only option. You mention you have a few wks until the move, is it possible to have.his cousins over to spend the night a couple of times before you guys move in? e might be more comfortable with a sleepover on familiar territoty". Also maybe in the next few weeks you can work on trying to incorporate activities that dont involve watching TV or playing the handheld games. If you can work on limiting these things somehow now it wont be such a drastic break once you are cohabitating. Hopefully this is not a long term situation. Rarely do we as parents, even siblings agree on how to raise/parent our children. The longer you stay in that situation , the more likely you will find fault with each other's rules & parenting style. Im the youngest of 7 and wouldnt willingly allow any of my siblings to raise my kids. Lol. However, kids are resilient. They tend to adapt pretty easily as long as they have love & support.

Good Luck & Take care

K. ;)

First talk w/ your BIL and SIL. Let them know how you feel and that you plan to honor their rules but ask if they would be understanding while you try to ease the transition for your son. Like maybe in private (your room) you can allow him some alone time (or just the three of you). Ask if they would mind helping get their children to give a bit of personal space to help as well. Be careful to not come off as critizing but rather "can you help me".

The only thing i can add at the moment is to use this oppurtunity as a teaching tool about change. My daughter would pee in her pants when she was subject to change and now she is learning to go with the flow at 11 years of age of course.