Does anyone have experience with a spouse or other family member with mental illness? I am looking for someone to talk with who may have had to cope with a spouse's illness in particular. I have questions about how to handle major decisions right now, because my husband refuses treatment.
I want to thank all of you for your responses. You've given some really good advice. The situation is moving forward... I know this is going to be a long road ahead, but I at least feel like I have some beginning groundwork in place now, as far as resources and help. NAMI is absolutely wonderful. I asked my in-laws to come be with us for a few days (or more) to mediate the situation, and after talking a bit so far, I think my husband will be going in for evaluation.
I dont really know how to deal with a spouse but he has to deal with me. I have a mental illness that went on for years without being diagnoised. maybe I can help. write to me privately if you want
All I can say is good luck. I still struggle with this but can tell you, that in our situation, over time, he's grown more open to talking to me about whatever. Which, then, I can offer suggestions of treatment or books, since we had been talking honestly. Hopefully, with time, he'll come around. You could also seek a therapist to talk through this time. I've done that too. Something that has also been helpful with this was I invited my husband to come to a session with me so that I (or the therapist -- it was both) explain my feelings and concern in an environment that was not your home.
GOOD LUCK!
After years of dealing with incredible mood swings, anger and many other things, my husband was diagnosed as bi-polar. He's on meds now and MUCH improved, but it took a long time to get here.
Not sure what kind of mental illness you're referring to, but I can relate to the spouse with a mental illness.
Feel free to email me privately if you want to chat.
Kim
S., I have been in your shoes. I would make sure you have all the bills and bank information in your name. Make sure you know what is happening with all bills and bank info.
My ex-husband is schizopranic. I am in Billings, if you need to talk.
S.
S.,
My spouse is currently on Social Security disablity for intractable major depression. We have coped with his illness all our married life (29 years in december) I also have parents and two of my three sons that have mental health issues. Not knowing what your husbands issue is means I can't give any specific advice other than contacting NAMI.org and get involved with thier family to family support program.
As far as major decisions go, you need to ask yourself a couple of questions: 1. Are the problems that I am leaving better or worse than the problems I am going to have as a result of leaving? 2. What are the legal ramifications for me and the safety of my children in the future? 3. What is best for everyone in this family, even if it means that things will be less than ideal for me?
Good luck,
E.
Consider looking into NAMI, the National Alliance for Mental Illness. I think they are a great resource for families and could help point you to your options.
I am sorry you have to deal with this hard thing. Best wishes.
S., first i want to say i understand how hard it can be to decide what to do. I have dealt with my mom as a paranoid schizophrenic almost my whole life. i am now her guardian and had to do a lot of "convincing" with my dad to get her some much needed help.
The one recommendation I would like to give is to find a support group. When, as an adult, I started dealing with all of my mom's behaviors, I realized I needed someone to talk to. I went online and found that there are some schizophrenic family support groups. they are awesome because it helps you realize there are other people with your same issues and that you're not alone.
As I sit here writing and crying I feel for you as I know dealing with your spouse is a TOTALLY different issue but I did deal with my husband's alcoholism and doing an intervention to get him help.
Just know, no matter what kind of mental illness you are dealing with, there ARE other people out there who have already done what you need to do and can be an "ear" for the process.
If you are in the Denver area and would like to have an "ear" just send me a private email and we talk.
good luck and God bless
S.,
I have a daughter who has been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. We live in California, but if you go to NAMI.org (National Alliance on Mental Health)you will be able to find resources for Colorado, also: go to the search area on your computer and type in 'resources for mental health issues in (area code), you will be able to find many resources. It can be difficult with any family member, but especailly with a spouse who is in denial and/or refuses any treatment. You're taking the right step to help yourself and your children.
Blessings to you.
S.
Feel free to message me personally as I do have some suggestions and experiences that may be helpful for you.
I am a family therapist and would be happy to offer support. You don't say where you are, but I'm in Denver, CO. A big issue is what kind of problems your husband is having. If he is suicidal, or having hallucinations, or other problems that put him at risk, you might have to take legal and medical action to protect him and your family. If he is depressed and/or anxious and just not functioning well at home and work, you have different decisions to make.
