Menopause and the Devil Within

Hi Leslie,

I guess it all depends on how well you know this person and how comfortable you are around her. I wouldn't confront her with her issue, but if you're okay with it, you might consider telling her that she seems to be having some tough days lately and whether there is anything you can do to help her out. If she wants to discuss her menopause at that time, then it's up to her. I'd also let her know that you'd be there for her if, at any time, she feels like she might need someone to talk to or a listening ear.

She's lucky to have such a thoughtful friend like you. Hopefully, you will be able to get through this together.

Good luck,
L.

I think this is the perfect venue for a question like this, personally.

If you're able to open up a dialogue about moods, health and herbs again, definitely bring up what you're saying here. She may have a hard time taking it in, but be as loving as possible while still making the point that her behavior is affecting you personally (I'd leave out the alert system, lol).

Pefect place for this type of question...! After all, all us mamas will be there one day :)

I think confront is not the right word. I think as a friend or at least a caring co-worker, that you should definitely say something....kindly and gently. Just tell her honestly that you are concenrned and just want to help and that you have noticed that she has not been herself lately. (Someone below mentioned to respond to her while she's on the attack - I think that's a brilliant idea - just be very very kind about it)! I know that I would want to be told, and that sometimes it's hard to se yourself as others see you :) You will be doing her a giant favor!

God bless ♥

M.

If you are friends with her can you and she sit down and talk sometime away from work? I think you might be able to go for coffee and just talk and you could casually mention that she is not herself lately and your worried. You value her friendship but is seems like she's been really sensitive and out of sorts lately and then go from there to see what she says..

If you are real close to her, when she lashes out say, "Whoa, where did that come from? Are you all right?" Say it in a funny way to maybe jerk her out of her funk and ask her if she is doing okay. I would let her know that people at the office are starting to talk about her and you want to help her so that she can be that loving person you know and remember. You miss being with the funny lady that she used to be and that you are here for her if she needs you. You might also want to mention that when you go through it you are gonna need a shoulder as well. There are some other ways with herbs that might help and not everyone can go the natural route such as acupuncture or teas. You might want to mention to her that millions of women go through menopause andhave taken prescriptions for a month or so to get over that hump or the devil within. I think the prescription might tame that devil before it gets out of hand and hurts those around her and isolates her even more. Good luck with approaching her, confrontation is never easy and you seem like you care and love her so remember that.

Just phrase it carefully Not menopause seems to be pushing you and the entire office into Hell! maybe dont even use the M word but more like I'm so worried about you,You dont seem to be acting like yourself, how are you feeling? are you having trouble sleeping? keep it about your concern for her not your concern for yourself or her coworkers

& it is the Devil Within! What an excellent phrasing....I swear those horns poke all over inside, all day long!

She's probably fully aware of it...& maybe a little bit of humor will help her. Are you close enough to be able to hold up a sign/paddle with a "happy face" on it ....when she really starts acting up? We've done that on road trips before! It really helps lighten the mood.....

I know you suspect menopause, but there could be any number of reasons why someone would be unusually grumpy. Maybe there's an illness or death in her family. Maybe she's having financial difficulties. Maybe she was betrayed by a friend. You never really know unless she tells you.

With that said, the ONLY person who is in a position to speak to her about this is her direct supervisor. If you haven't already, bring it up with him/her and let them know that her bad attitude is becoming a detriment to all of her co-workers and the work environment. Then the supervisor can address your friend's behavior from a professional stand point, regardless of the reason for it.

You're a great friend to be so concerned about her. Continue doing what you can to support her emotionally and let her boss do the rest.

Good luck!!

You need to talk to her ASAP. Be honest. Let her know you need to have a very serious conversation with her and you are coming form a place of love. Tell her based on experiences with your mom etc... Let her know that she's driving people away and she may need to see a doctor because it's starting to effect everyone in her life. Good luck, hopefully she'll know that you are a friend and aren't attacking her but trying to help.

ly.

.

Hi Leslie,
Get her a bottle of Pharmanex brand Estera supplements. They're not prescription medication, but they are pharmaceutical-grade supplements. And a lot of my friends going through menopause rave about them!
jenn

I think this is an appropriate venue for this question. I'm a mom of a 9 year-old, and a grandmother of three, and I just turned 50. I've been noticing changes in my moods at times. Similar to what I experience as PMS, but less predictable.

I would suggest broaching the subject, gently... She may be also going through other things in her life besides hormonal changes. I don't think I would state your assumption that these moods are caused by menopause, none of us really wants to be told that we're "getting old".

I had a co-worker that was turning into the Menopause Devil (but she KNEW it!). I bought her a box of Estroven and it helped! (We are pretty close friends though.)
If you're not "that close" I would basically stay out of it.

Hey Leslie,
I think you would be a kind friend to let her know that she is making a bad impression on her coworkers. Just kindly tell her that you are concerned because a few of her coworkers have commented on her moodiness, and that she should consider talking to a doctor about working on getting her hormones balanced.
Also, there are some great resources out there on bio-identical hormones which are a great alternative to traditional HRT. If she goes to a good natural endocrinologist, or natural health practitioner, they can prescribe the right dosage to make her feel like herself again. I am a living testament to the value of this therapy. It brings back my softer side and everyone is the better for it.

I got some wonderful stuff over the counter called New Phase. My hormones are really messed up. This helped tons. She is probably not sleeping either and women that go without sleep are not nice. When I have an attitude it is much worse for me then it is for other people. If she is a good friend then she will be grateful.