Members of the "Night Shift" Club...

Updated on December 09, 2011
K.. asks from Phoenix, AZ
10 answers

This is for those of that either work, have worked, or have had a partner who works or worked the night shift.

DH recently made a job change that will entail him working an overnight shift. No, none of us are happy about it, but it was a last minute change (from a perfect initial shift, but I digress...) and we are dealing. Better this than nothing, right?! Good news is that it is a great company, with lots of room for growth & job stability, a better shift and benefits.

Anyway, I'm looking for advice from those who live or have lived this lifestyle. What do you do to make it easier on everyone? Any tips? I know that working a night shift can really wear on someone, and I just want to make sure I'm prepared & know what I'm in for. What about making it easier on my DD? If you could share your experience, feedback, etc. on how you cope, I'd really appreciate it.

Thank you!

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So What Happened?

ETA - the shift is 6:00pm to 4:30am 5 nights a week. I have one DD who is in Kindergarten & I work part time, so I am still available for drop off & pick up.

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K.A.

answers from New York on

My father worked night shift )11pm-7am from the day I was born until now (he still works it) and I am 26 yrs old. What he does is he goes to lay down at 8am. He uses dark blinds to block the light and he uses the TV to block out external noise. He then wakes up at 2pm, eats, showers, exercises. Then my mom comes home at 4pm and he spends time with her, eats dinner, ect. Then he sleeps again from 6pm-9pm. Then gets up again and does whatever until he has leave for work at 10:30pm. Hes been doing this for almost 30 yrs and works for him.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

One shift a week, or 5 shifts a week?

It's honestly easier if it's all 5. If it's "only" 1... then prepare for 3 days of no-husband. The first day "prepping" for it, and the 3rd day "recovering" from it.

If it's all 5, then he's not flip-flopping / needing prep and recovery. It also means that IF he's an "early bird" he'll get up around 2pm and be there with y'all in the afternoons. ((Remember... starting work at 6pm is JUST like starting work at 6am time wise. So if he's getting up at 2pm... that's like getting up for the day at 2am)). If he's a "night owl", he'll sleep until 5pm or later, shower, dive out of the house with hurried goodbyes... and be with y'all in the morning.

Remember... just flip the AM/PM. When you get cranky about him "still being up" or "still being asleep" (and you will), flip the meridian and see if you'd be cranky about him waking up at 3am, or still up at 10pm? Yet it's VERY easy to be cranky about not being up at 3pm, or still up at 10am and not having slept yet.

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S.C.

answers from Des Moines on

That's kind of a nice shift-- He can come home and have (or fix!) breakfast with the rest of you (the family meal does NOT need to be supper!) and then lay down and sleep for AT LEAST 8 hours. I ALWAYS run a radio or audiobook and a fan-- makes outside noises a LOT less noticible. And since my current bedroom is in the SW corner of the building I put foil over my windows. He can get up around 4, grab a quick shower and some caffiene, have some time with the kidlet, grab a quick bite and head out the door.

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Is it M-F? If so, then that isn't too bad really. He can come home and sleep until noon or 2:00 pm. Get up, eat something light, do some exercise and household stuff, be there when your daughter gets out of school to have some family time. Eat dinner early, and off he goes. You will have to manage bedtime on your own, obviously. But at least he won't be trying to sleep when you are trying to make dinner or have playtime with your daughter.

Blackout shades for the bedroom are a must. When my husband "naps" when everyone is home, he tends to turn the TV on low sort of like white noise. Or he has his stereo on low. We also made a point, when we built this home, to have solid doors put in on all the bedrooms. It helps insulate the sound better. You might consider rearranging your bedroom furniture if you can/should, so that the head of your bed is furthest away from the door as can reasonably go.
Your daughter will learn to play quietly and not yell across the house for things or yell or squeal or whatever. Both my kids did fine (they have been doing this periodically once or twice a month since birth--my son is 13). But, my husband's schedule is a bit different. He works regressive shifts. So he sleeps late on his "monday" (not really a monday, but his first work day of the week) and goes to work at 3pm. Gets home late (close to midnight). Next day, goes to work at 2pm. Gets home late (maybe about 11pm?). Next day, goes to work at noon (or maybe at 10 am) and gets home pushing 9 pm (or 7 pm). On his "Thursday"(if he has the mid-shift that week) he goes in at 6:00 am, gets home around 2:45, naps, runs, eats, naps some more, goes back to work at 10-11pm, gets home around 7 or 8 am. Then sleeps till noon (if I'm lucky). If he gets up earlier he is usually grumpy. But is fine by the next day.
If your hubby has the same shift every day, then his body will adjust to when he needs to sleep and eat, and you will know what times those will be. For my husband, since it isn't every day, sometimes he can't fall asleep when he needs to, and when he wakes (whatever time that might be) he needs to eat so he can go back to sleep again. Which means that we don't plan to eat together, since we never know exactly what time he will wake up. Sometimes it is before I could have dinner ready--especially since I don't like making noise in the kitchen when he is trying to sleep, lol.

One tip I haven't seen though, is to give him a wide berth when he is transitioning to this schedule. He will be grumpy. It isn't his fault, but he WILL be grumpy. And so will you, because you will feel like you are tip-toeing around in the mornings, etc. So just, if you can, avoid having any major discussions or controversial debates or decisions being made for a while. Save it for when you both feel "normal". For us, that means the next day--not the day he comes home at 7 am, but the NEXT day. :)
Your daughter will probably adjust more easily than either of you two.

ETA: @ Riley: You are pretty spot on about the 3 days prep/recovery, lol.

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J.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

My husband doesn't work over night but he works from 2-10 and I am home with the kids all day. His job is super stressful so he needs extra rest. You do end up feeling like a single parent but its all about the attitude. You can choose to be crabby about the fact that he WILL be sleeping when you wish he wasn't and you will be crabby about him not being able to help out as much as he used to (or you want him too). I just learned to let go of it all. I would say prepare yourself to let go of things which really can't be helped. Maybe see if you can do a babysitting swap with a friend so you still have time home alone to sleep, clean up, or run errands.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

My grandmother used to work second shift, I guess it was 3-11PM or maybe 4 to midnight. She would take a nap in the afternoon and we all knew not to bother her. She would get up and get ready, visit with the grandkids (who all went there afterschool, our grandfather was retired) til she had to go.

My cousin's husband works nights, from about 9PM. They have made it a point that their family dinners are FAMILY dinners as that may be the most quality time they have. He gives his DD a bath and then his wife puts the baby to bed when he heads out the door. I believe he also uses blackout curtains and a fan to help him sleep.

I think that whatever the routine becomes, make it a point to have some family time when everyone is up. If he's coming in when the kids are getting breakfast, then make that an important time of the day.

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

the worst part for us was weekends. it SUCKED because he was trying to sleep all day BOTH days and we lived in a little 2 bedroom apartment. BLEH. i really felt like a single mom that whole first year after our son was born.

sorry, not meaning to make you more depressed lol. mostly the weekdays were okay, we were somewhat awake at similar times. hopefully you have friends or family nearby and you can get out of the house on weekends and let him sleep? good luck. i won't lie, i hated it. hopefully it won't last too long for you...

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M.B.

answers from Phoenix on

My father worked the overnight shift for years when we were in school. He would come home and take us to school then sleep and be up at dinner time with us till he had to go to work. It worked great for my parents but he was one of those rare people who can survive on 5-6 hours of sleep with little effects (I need at least 8). My brother-in-law couldn't do it. He could never adjust to the change and ended up almost divorced because he could not handle the reversed sleeping schedule. Once he went back to day or 2nd shift, he was fine and did well. Be prepared for some time of grumpiness as he switches sleep times.

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C.C.

answers from Houston on

It can be a challenge for sure. You didn't mention if it was graveyard shift or not...meaning are you gonna be able to take care of the kids during the day. Or when you have to sleep...will everyone else in the household be awake and their noise keep you awake. The only plus to it I saw is you don't have to worry about all the traffic. You may have to miss out on family functions...because you have to sleep. Good luck to you!

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C.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

Make it a point to spend some family time together before he goes to work. Sounds obvious but it can be really hard when you're also trying to take care of your home, run errands, etc. My DH leaves for work at 6:30pm so we try to sit down together for dinner every night before he leaves. Also, on the night he's home, DH puts DS to bed and spends some extra time with him (they're singing right now!)

It's hard and can be frustrating but I have to admit that some nights I enjoy being by myself after DS goes to bed.

Good Luck!

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