Meeting with a Parent Coordinator for Custody Issues

F., I'M SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR DIVORCE AND YOU'RE EXPECTING AT THE SAME TIME. I'M A SINGLE MOTHER OF 2 BOYS AND JUST WENT THROUGH THIS. LET ME START OFF BY SAYING IT'S GONNA GET HARDER BEFORE IT GET BETTER SO BRACE YOURSELF AND BE PREPARED TO ACT LIKE EVERTHING IS FINE IN FRONT OF THE KIDS BECAUSE IT DOES GET BETTER. NOW, WHAT THIS COORDINATOR IS IS A COURT MEDIATOR. THEY MAKE IT EASIER FOR THE JUDGE BY IRONING OUT ALL THE NITTY GRITTY SO YOU AND YOUR EX AREN'T BICKERING IN THE COURT ROOM. I READ YOUR OTHER RESPONSES AND THEY WERE RIGHT ON TARGET. GO IN WITH MORE THAN YOU WANT AND ALL ON PAPER IN LAMINS TERMS. THINK LONG AND HARD ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS AND BIRTHDAYS BECAUSE YOU MAY WANT IT ALL THIS YEAR BUT THINK INTO THE FUTURE WHEN IT'S HIS TURN. I JUST MADE THAT MISTAKE BY WANTING THEM LAST YEAR ON CHRISTMAS MORNING, NOW IT ALL FALLS ON HIS WEEKEND AND I'LL ONLY SEE MY BOYS FOR A FEW HOURS ON CHRISTMAS DAY. ALSO TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION THE WEEKDAYS. WHEN YOUR OLDER CHILD IS IN SCHOOL, YOU'RE NOT GONNA WANT HIM BEING BOUNCED AROUND DURING THE WEEK. EXPRESS THE POINT OF 'CONSISTANCY FOR THE CHILD'. THE MEDIATORS LOVE WHEN A PARENT SEES ONLY THE BEST FOR THE CHILD AND EVER CHILD YOUNG OR OLDER, NEEDS CONSISTANCY. THE REASON I TELL YOU THIS IS BECAUSE MY OLDEST IS IN KINDERGARTEN AND HE'S HAVING TROUBLE FOCUSING BECAUSE HE'S BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN HOUSES. I WAS BEING GENEROUS BECAUSE I WANTED MY SON TO SEE DAD OFTEN BUT IT LEAD TO OTHER ISSUES; ONES THAT COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED. I'M GOING ON AND ON AND I COULD GO ON FOREVER BUT FEEL FREE TO EMAIL ME @ ____@____.com. I CAN TELL YOU SO MUCH. BUT GOOD LUCK AND I'M IN THE AREA SO IF YOU WAN TTO CHAT DURING THOSE HARD TIMES, DROP A LINE.
H. S, HAMILTON SQ

A Parent coordinator acts as a meditator between you, your husband and child. To have the child's best interest at heart and to be able to work out any parenting time issues/visitations you may have.

It's standard.
Sorry to hear about this - I just finished with mine back in February.

RJ

Hi.I'm so sorry.My best advice.Focus only on your children and it will be okay.Forget the anger and money and blame and focus and talk about and do what is best for your kids.That helped me when I met with a determiner appointed by the courts.I arrived on time,he late and hung over, I had done my homework and written things down.My daycare provider told them IM the one they called when kids were sick and im the one who took them to the doctors.I told the doctor their father was too preoccupied and bored to handle them in every day life and would be a fine Dad on special occassions and visits.He doesnt understand when young children are hungry,wet,sad, they need attention NOW not when he feels like playing dad.Also do not be unkind or angry let him be that person.Don't sink to their level.Know your kids favorites and dislikes and think about their personalities.They also ask you what makes you a good mom and how could you be better.You will be fine!! If you need help for stress see a therapist and if you need meds don't be afraid it helped me get through hell.Good luck!!

My husband and I went through this two years ago with his ex-wife. My suggestion is to go in asking for more than you want, because you never get what you want, it's all a compromise, so asking for more hopefully you will get close to what you really want. Make sure they write everything out very clearly so there is no room for the both of you to interpret it differently...if it's all laid out very clearly then there is no room for fighting years from now about holidays and stuff!!!

I don't know for sure, but from the title, I'd say the person is an intermediary between you and your stbx in deciding custody, visitation, child support, etc and trying to keep it all calm and civil.

Before you go in, I'd have in my mind a clear idea of what kind of custody and visitation arrangement you want. The support might not be handled by this person (but then again it might). You don't want to go in there and be at a loss for words if your stbx already has visitation/custody arrangements in mind.