V.C.
I too am a Naval Veteran. I also reconnected with biological family while in the service. I do think it is the military, that gives him the courage to face a fretful situation. He is just as anxious as you are! His reason for being in the military, may be influenced by the need to belong to something bigger than himself. He may not even realize that yet?? My only advice is to suggest that you support his decision, as it is a wise one, to be in the military. Just like you stated in your request. Simply that continued involvement with his mother wasn't an option. So that you are not saying she got crazy or anything because after all that is his mother. Just state the facts as they are. No need to apologize profusely or feel guilty. He will understand. I will speak for myself and say that a lot of what I was looking for was validation from my father. I knew that I was Ok and "Normal" but still needed that stamp of approval from "Pops". Like I said that was what I needed, may not be what he is after. Oh, another thing is deployments, if he has been there done that, or is going on one, he has been instructed to "Handle his affairs" meaning clean house and get his affairs in order. He has or will be going into harms way, and wants to have everything settled. So that could be a motivator as well. I have been on multiple deployments and their is a lot of independent time to think! I know right! But it does make you think about what you really want out of life! The military only gives you the drive to achieve that goal. As for you specifically, be interested, but don't obsess. Ask about his job, does he like it? He is in the Navy so he will be traveling where has he been? Where is he going?? I am assuming he is an enlisted member and not an officer, as he is only 19. So his paygrade will be E1 thru E4 those are the bottom rungs of the ladder, ask when he is taking the advancement exam? Has he studied for it? He will expect that sort of thing from you as you are a Mom! I could go on and on. So if you have any specific questions feel free to e-mail: ____@____.com