Meals for Children

I agree with those who say to make the transition and stick with it. What types of food are you making for the "kid" meals? It seems like a lot of the childhood staples are high in sugar, fat, salt, or all of the above - which means that other foods tasted side-by-side may be bland in comparison. Try to move the whole family to healthy meals together. This doesn't mean that you'll give up some of their kid favorites - maybe the whole family can have chicken nuggets together one night, to help establish that you all eat the same thing regardless of what is on the menu. You can also look for recipes that take their favorites and make them a little healthier, or add a few new spices, etc., to make them more grown up.

Snacks: if they're eating well and they're hungry, give them a good option, something with protein to last all night - maybe pretzels and peanut butter. Many small meals a day are better than 3 big ones.

My kids have eaten the same food as us since they are a year old. We don't do seperate meals. Just let them know that from now on they will be eating the same meals as you because they are big kids. There will not be any substitutions, etc.

Hi K.,

First of all, I am saddened to read all the responses from people who do not share your experience. I know a lot of people have problems with picky eaters (me included) and have resorted to making separate meals. To hear from all the people who have not and are telling you what you should've done long ago doesn't answer your question.

My daughter is 5, and has always been a picky eater. Not only is she picky when it comes to healthy foods, but she is also picky when it comes to desserts or junk food. (I look at it as a silver lining).

What I have done to try and get her to eat the same foods that my husband and I do at dinnertime has had mixed results. Sometimes she'll eat, and sometimes she won't. I will admit, that I will frequently make her separate meals because I am tired of a battle at dinner time.

First thing, is to set the expectation. Tell your kids they are getting older and big enough to eat the same food as mommy and daddy. Set a date - mark the calendar, have a countdown to the "big event." (I have done this in the past, and we usually start off great - then slowly things go downhill - most likely because I cave) Read the book, "Gregory The Terrbile Eater." Whenever we hit an especially rough patch, we read this book a few times, and it seems to help my daughter's willingness to try new things. We instituted 'make your pizza night' where we fill little bowls with lots of toppings and everyone gets to make what they like. My daughter has tried many items from the bowls, but always makes herself a cheese pizza.

Like the other poster with a picky eater - my daughter hates things that are blended together. God forbid there be gravy on her mashed potatoes or peas get mixed in them. She likes to dip her pasta in sauce served in a ramekin on the side. My husband and I laugh about these quirks and say she will be like the character in the movie "When Harry Met Sally." (remember the scene where she has all these special demands when she orders food at the deli?)

We talk a lot about food. We talk about when she was a baby she didn't like ice cream, but now she does. How she didn't like ketchup, but now she does, etc. We talk about how her taste buds have matured and that big girls try new things. My daughter loves raw veggies, but not cooked. So when I cook veggies, and try to make sure they are still a bit crisp.

In all honesty, it is not that my daughter has a bad diet - just doesn't like things the way my husband and I do. For example, a salad to her is a couple of spinach leaves with garbanzo beans, some shredded carrot and feta cheese - no dressing. She also loves to eat raw shredded cabbage, but not cole slaw because the dressing is "gross."

As mothers we do our best to provide good nutrition and healthy habits to our children. I try to have my daughter help in the kitchen and have her help with menu planning.

I hope this helps or at least gives you some suggestion on how to transition. You are not alone!

I have 4 boys (13 down to 4) and I start when they're about 3 or 4 making them eat what we eat (for the most part.) I tell them if they don't eat what I make, they can have bread and butter and some fruit, and then they get nothing until breakfast. Otherwise they are snacking too much and not getting enough nourishment. They won't die from hunger from night until morning, and I am not a short-order cook--I'm too busy to make something different for everyone! Good luck! K.

Hi K.
My children have eaten what I make for the family since they started soild food. I would stop making them seprate meals of course there not going to eat what you made if they have another choice. If I know my children really do not like what I am making I will make sure I make a side dish I know they will eat. I think the longer you wait the more difficult it will be. Good Luck T.

I have a 7 and 4year old. Unless we are eating something kind of odd (rarely happens)they eat what we eat or can opt for a p-nut butter sandwhich. There are some nights when we play restaurant and I will fix what they want within reason, or a night where we are finishing up leftovers we may eat different things. I will give a light bed time snack if we eat an early dinner, otherwise, we have been trying to elimiate this habit out of concern for weight gain.

Well, I don't know if this helps you at all since I have a 2 1/2 year old and one due in March but we have breakfast around 7:30AM, lunch around 11:30AM, dinner around 6:00PM and bedtime is around 8:00PM. We have been feeding our daughter whatever we have for lunch and dinner since she could eat table foods and she eats pretty much what we give her without complaint. Sometimes she says she doesn't want to eat such and such and we don't force her and she never ends up starving. Sometimes she asks for a snack in the afternoon and it is usually crackers, yogurt, a cookie, etc.

Were I you, I would do exactly what you typed. I would make dinner and say this is what we are having. Eat it or don't. The 5 year old and the 7 year old are plenty old enough to understand that you aren't a personal chef and that if they don't eat what is provided they will feel hungry later. I'm sure there will be complaining and whining but stick to your guns. Your life will be easier and your grocery bill will go down. Also, if dad doesn't like the separate meal thing then have him deal with the complaining children in the evening.

Like many of the other moms, we give our kids the same thing we are eating. Sometimes they don't like it but we try to have at least one thing on their plate we know they like. We also make them take at least a bite of everything on their plate. There are things they used to hate that they now eat and like. Persistance pays off. Antother thing we have done to help out is that at least once a week we let the kids pick the meal. So we will eat hot dogs wrapped in crescent rolls when that's what they want. I think it helps to see us eating what they want. Good luck!

for kids at those ages if they don't have any food allergies I would just serve them what you are eating. If they don't like it then let them know that there will be no snack unless dinner is eaten. If they get hungry enough they will eat. This is not being cruel it is just setting up your family mealtime schedules to coordinate with with you and your husband, It will take a little bit of time to get used to but kids in general are pretty flexible. Ps this will give them as start on good eating habits. My daughter knows that if she wants a snack before bed she needs to eat a good healthy dinner. You are the parent - it's you & your husbands call

Seriously? I'd pull my hair out making separate meals! It's probably going to be more difficult with your older kids since they're used to something different so maybe a transition would be good. I'd suggest getting a kids cookbook and let your boys help menu plan. My older kids are 4 and6 and love to help in the kitchen (not the stove). We look for ideas and choose things they can help with. A family favorite is chicken quesadillas. We let the kids lay out their tortilla, shred their piece of chicken, add cheese and melt. Then they top with lettuce, salsa, whatever they like. Serve with Spanish rice or beans and you have a ton of "new" flavors that they'll try because they're involved in it. Try the same concept with tacos, sloppy joes, stew, whatever. We started offering our kids a variety of flavors right away at 9 mo+ so they love Italian, Mexican, Asian, etc and don't think twice about what's for dinner. Of course veggies are always a chore! Good luck!

why would you make two meals? Sounds like alot of work AND alot of extra money. Your kids should have ate the same things as you from the start. I'm not sure what you are making that isn't kid friendly... is it really spicy? Just like every other part of your life has changed from having kids your meals should change a bit too... Hot stuff? Add more hot sauce to yours after it is on your plate. Other than that kids should eat it, if they don't eat it than they don't get a snack.

If anything I cook better meals now that I have a kid!

K.:

I can't comment on a transition, but I can tell you that I've never made separate meals for my children. They are 4 and 15 mos. I fed both of my children pureed versions of our meals from the time they started solids.

It is our expectation that they try everything (no-thankyou bites are required). I don't force the kids to eat, but they are not served different food until the next snack. It is unusual that they cannot find something in a meal that they like, be it the meat, or vegetable or grain.

I also reintroduce meals often. My daughter, as an example, refused to try Chicken Wild Rice soup over 4 times. When I made it the 5th time, not only did she eat it, she asked for more....

Just go cold turkey. Stop making them separate meals!

Make a lunch menu calendar for the month (or week if you can't go that far in advance). Then they will know what to expect. They will start eating. Kids will not let themselves starve.

And try to make some kid friendly meals from time to time. Homemade pizza, sloppy joes, lasagna (we call it noodle pizza), spaghetti, etc. Our kids eat what we eat. Even salads. There are times where they eat less because they don't care for some of it but I do NOT make them a separate meal.

A good rule of thumb (I did daycare and this is what we HAD to serve) is to serve: 1 dairy, 1 meat, 1 bread, and 2 fruits and/or vegetables. I still base MOST of our meals on this as it is a great way to make sure the kids get what they need. And then they have plenty to chose from if they don't care for one or two of the items.....

And give them the 3 main meals and one to two snacks at specific times throughout the day. My kids usally get an afternoon snack. (For some families a morning or bedtime snack would work better.....)

Our rule is the kids must take ONE bite of each thing so they try it. If they don't want to eat it, that's okay. But the next time I serve it they must try one bite again. If they never try it, they will never know if they like it!

K. I have never ever made seperate meals for my kids. They are 3 1/2 and 13 months! I can't believe you are making seperate meals for all three! Of course, my boys will pretty much eat anything. However, I usually try and make things we can all enjoy. The times that I want to makes something too spicy for the kids is when I will fix up something seperately. We also are eating by 5:30-6. My oldest doesn't usually go to bed til about 8-8:30 and he always gets a small snack around 7. They're growing kids, they are going to be hungry. I specifically remember when I was little always being hungry...I just had a high metabolism! So we usually have popcorn or share a bowl of ice cream, fruit snacks, cheese..SOMETHING. I hope that helps. :)

From the moment our kids could eat solid foods, we have been feeding them what we eat. I just never had the time or inclination to cook two meals. So, I guess we started this at, what? 8 or 9 months. If you don't do that already, I would start immediately. Just cook the one meal and if they don't like it they can have a pj&j. Make it very simple and clear. Don't become a short order cook. That never ends well.

I would give your children more food at dinner if they are still hungry. Perhaps you could push back dinner til 6 or so.

If your husband is concerned about how much they eat now...wait til they become teenagers!!!!

We have 3 kids at home (2, 4 & 5) & one that lives w/ grandparents (15 - I had her when I was 17)... my 3 at home started eating what mommy & daddy eat by the time I finished giving baby food & they had teeth. We started them out young, before even a year old, with mashed potatoes and worked our way from there.

Our kids never have or will get "special" meals made just for them. I do let them pick what we eat sometime... but we all eat it even if it's mac & cheese and hot dogs. Just this week my 5 yr old asked for mac & cheese, so we had it w/ bbq chicken & salad. And yes, the kids ate everything on their plates & asked for more.

Our rule is you must finish 1 item on your plate & try everything... if you don't like it you don't have to finish it. The 1 item rule doesn't enclude fruit... cause that is always the first thing to disappear off the plated. With our older daughter she had the same rules when she visited us (but corn didn't count as her 1 item). I do have one who hates green beans & none of them like asparagras or brusle sprounts... but they try them everytime we make them.

Actually, we have had a lot of comments made to us about our kids eating habits... because they do try everything. And most of the time they do find they like it. Last year, even the pre-k teacher told us we had the best eaters that she had seen in her 23 years teaching.

Our routen is a little different them most families. We got into it when I was working... we don't have dinner till about 6:30 or 7:00 and bed time is 8:00 for the kids unless they have homework then we work on homework then bed. They are all usually in bed or at least their rooms by 8:30/8:45. If the kids are hungry at bedtime - we give them a small snack, before the teeth get brushed. But they do have a snack after school... actually sometimes they get 2 - our 5 yr old gets out of school at 2:30 and she usually wants a sandwich when she get home, so her and the 2 yr old eat one or two. Then our 4 yr old get home from pre-k around 4:30 and he wants a snack, so whatever he picks they all 3 eat.

Yes, kids eat a bunch of times during the day... they usually have 3 meals & 3-4 snacks a day. I have also found the school kids eat more on school days then non-school days. Brains use a lot of energy & they need the food to create that energy.

Honsetly, it is going to be easier to break the 2 yr olds habits then the older ones eating habits. Good luck!

WOW! I am just reeling, and wondering how you can find so much time and energy to run a cook to order kitchen from your own home. Fix one meal, period. If my son won't eat what is served- then peanut butter is the default meal in our home, AFTER he tries SOME of what I fix for supper. I try to plan my weeks accordingly and fix something at least a couple times a week, that I know he will eat, then we as a family eat the same thing. I don't know what youare calling "adult food" but my son has always eaten what I eat for the most part, beit meatloaf, salmon patties, Grilled chicken, whatever. My son does get one night a week usually, that he actually fixes supper for me, then I have to eat what he fixes. Maybe on Sunday or something, let the 2 older boys choose a meal they would like for the next week, but then the whole family has to eat the same thing.
There are only 3 things in life you can't make someone do, eat, sleep and potty in the toilet, so, again I default to PBJ and try to give a snack- 1/2 apple or banana, small bowl of ice cream, something at bedtime- 8:30, because boys grow like crazy, and require more food during growing seasons :)
Good luck and happy cooking!

We start our kids on our food as soon as they're old enough to eat it. My kids don't always like what I make, but I try to make it kid-taste-friendly and they have to at least try it. They also get to help me plan our menu and choose what we have for dinner a couple nights a week (usually mac & cheese).
We have our favorite meals, but we also change it up with things like pancakes or sandwiches for dinner.
We've been doing a lot of soups lately (split pea with potato and carrot, served with homemade rolls; chicken noodle; potato and corn chowder with bacon and cheese on top) and they love that. I also do baked sandwiches (bread dough rolled out flat like a rectangular pizza, lay out lunch meat, sprinkle with cheese, and add any other fixings- I like broccoli, olives, and mushrooms- fold in half, pinch the sides shut, and bake), homemade pizza (they put their own topping on), mixed veggie rice with cheese (cook the rice in chicken broth or add a couple bouillon cubes for extra flavor), soft tacos, Hawaiian haystacks, etc.
It helps to have them assist you or help with the planning. They might be more willing to eat if they chose and/or prepared the meal.
It is actually healthy to eat several smalls meals through out the day, as opposed to three big ones, so I don't see a problem with the frequent eating. As long as they are eating well and have a balanced diet, they're fine.
My kids have a small snack after my oldest gets home from school around 4:30, dinner is at 6, and they go to bed at 7. If they are up later than that, they get a bedtime snack.

***LATER NOTE***
I never force my kids to eat something they don't like. When I was a kid, my parents forced me to eat venison that I didn't want to eat since I saw the deer hanging in our garage and they butchered it in our kitchen. It was a matter of principle. They made me eat it and then started lying to me and telling me it was beef. I found out and quit eating red meat altogether. I still don't eat red meat to this day. They thought they were doing me a favor but have since told me several times how much they regret how they handled things.
At each meal, my kids have to take at least 3 bites of everything. If they really don't like something (which is rare), they don't have to finish it. They can eat everything else and then either eat a banana or reheat leftovers. I only cook separate meals when I really want something and I know they won't like it.

My kids eat what we are eating at day 1. There is a take it and eat it or don't take it policy. If I know I am making something they don't like, I will let them make ramen or have leftovers of something they do like. Last night we had soup, rolls and salad. 2 of my kids just ate the rolls with PB and jelly.

We serve an after school snack and a bedtime snack- they can only get the bedtime snack if they ate their dinner and did their chores.

There are 7 of us. We cook from scratch (always have homemade bread, beans and cookies) and spend about $400/month on food. I often avoid the grocery store and go to our natural foods co-op where I order in bulk oatmeal, wheat and organic veggies.

You need to take control and reduce your stress level at dinnertime -- a time where your family can sit, relax and enjoy some together time -- it's so important! I think that you need to break them cold-turkey, though. Sit them down and explain to them that they are old enough now to eat what adults eat. They need to try everything that is put in front of them, period. And it's true that they may need to try foods several times before they decide they like it. Initially they won't clean their plates, but you cannot give in and make them something that they want. Tell them that snack time is in an hour and they need to wait until then to eat. Hearty snacks like apples and granola bars are an excellent choice to fill them up for the night.

In an ideal world we should all be eating 5-6 small meals a day. I think kids need to snack and that a snack is better than overeating at dinner because you are being told that you won't get to eat again. They need to learn to listen to the cues their bodies are giving them and to eat when they are hungry. That being said, they aren't going to starve in one night. If you suspect that they are not eating dinner because they are pulling a power play and waiting it out for a more appealing snack then let them, and at snack time set their re-heated dinner in front of them. As long as you are only offering them healthy choices for a snack on the nights that they do eat dinner things should go well most days. We offer fruit, frozen yogurt tubes, graham crackers, cheese, air popped popcorn, etc as bedtime snacks for our three year old. She mostly eats what we eat for dinner with some modifications. I always keep frozen veggies around to supplement what else she is eating. Good luck, take it a day at a time and dont' give up if something doesn't work. If you take it slowly you will get there! (there are other really good tips that you have gotten like letting the kids help in the kitchen, maybe let them pick one night a week too?)Oh! one last thing, when my daughter was younger she wouldn't eat veggies for my sister one day, so my sister offered them to her frozen. She still loves frozen green beans so that is another choice she gets to make, hot or cold. Seems weird to me, but she likes it and is eating her veggies so really, who cares?

well this might be a bit ol school for all you new moms...but-why are the kids eating seperate foods?? this is the way its done...they eat what you eat or they go hungry-dont make it a big issue-cook the meals-put them at the table..your hubby is right-an in this hard economy?? you might think im being a bit harsh here-but my kids started eating table foods by time they were 5-6 months old-cereal got tiresome-so started using the blender-they ate everything except peas-neither one ever got sick-or have anytype of allergy to anything.my mom had both my kids on baby cereal by time they were a week old-yea i kinda freaked out-the dr said blah blah blah....she said i raised 9 kids-just like this-and no one is sick...she was right.so i strongly suggest-you take control of meal time-good luck

You kids are old enough to eat the same foods as you do. They do not require any special foods.

They are all old enough to already be eating the same thing that you and your husband eat. I also have 3 boys and they too are always hungry ready for a snack 1/2 hour after a meal...they're growing boys no way to avoid that. But really there is no reason for you to be going to all that extra work at meal time. And our rule is if you don't eat what's for supper there is NO snack later. They don't have to finish everything on their plates, but make an effort. I make sure that the portions on their plates are the right size.
You are not a short order cook, and the longer you continue fixing seperate meals the harder it will be to stop. I'm afraid that you are creating picky eaters.

Good luck

SAHM 3 boys 9, 6, 4.5

well, I think you are a little bit late, so it may be more of a fight for you. I would say juststart serving them exactly what you are having and don't look back. I sarted giving my kids ( 3 yrs and 10.5 months, right now) some adult food as soon as they could eat finger foods. Of course we stay away from very spicy or very acidic things at first, and watch for choking hazards....but that said, once they can chew properly, they should be able to eat just what the rest of the family is eating.

If you and your hubby eat lots of very spicy things, you may need to tone it down a bit, ot take some out for the kids before adding spices / or only add a little or no spice to their portions. Some small kids have trouble with acidic things like oranges or tomatos, but my 3 year old does fine, so your kids should all be fine too.

Good luck. There is no reason you need to be a short order cook and make different meals for everyone, make one dinner meal and that is what the family eats.

Also, a before bed snack is fine,but in my house, that only happens IF they have eaten all their dinner. If they have not eaten it, it will still eon their plat in the fridge with plastic wrap over it, and that can be reheated for their snack if they are hungry they will eat it. This may sound tough, but if you cater to your kids like this they will keep expecting you to do it through their whole lives.

I have a 10 year stepson, 6 year stepdaughter, and a 3 year old son. I guess it never occured to me to make them different meals than what we were eating. So they have always eaten what we have and if they don't want to eat that is fine then they don't get anything else. We usually eat around 6:oo - 6:30. So they don't get a snack before bed. My stepdaugther sometimes will have a little snack after school but my 3 year old son doesn't due to his treatments that need to be done and can't eat an hour before or an hour after he is done. My 10 year stepson I have to watch closely because he loves eating junk food (learned from his mother who feeds him fast food and junk food pretty much everyday) so we monitor what he eats when he is with us. We try and keep a lot healthy snacks around for him and make him get up and do stuff.

J.

My son is 2 and he eats what we eat and has since he started solid foods. there is no separate meal. He is also a snacker and i think most kids are. I get home around 5 with him and start dinner right away. We usually eat between 5:30 and 6 with no snacks before dinner. He will eat dinner and then have a snack with a small amount of something to drink at 7. Then we brush teeth and he goes to bed around 7:30-7:45. There is no reason you should be making a separte meal for your kids. They need to eat the same as everyone else.

Hi K., I have a 2 yr old and 4 yr old as well as I run a daycare. I have set times that everyone eats (usually) and I do try to get all the kids to try something new a couple times a week. I try to figure out what 'tastes' they like best and try to use that more. I do have to be very careful because they are all still at the age where they have 'texture' issues. So if I make anything with meat, I have to make sure it's in very tiny pieces (especially chicken in any casseroles). I also give snacks at 3:30-4 and I try to give them some sort of carb or something with lots of fiber in it. Then my kids and I usually can wait to eat until about 6-7pm. Somewhere in that time. I feel my kids are old enough to learn a little patience then they also eat more and are willing to try other things as well. It does help sometimes to try to involve them in the dinner making, if it's letting them pick ingredients to helping actually cook it!

My son is 3-1/2 and he eats whatever we eat with the exception of hamburger. He hates hamburger and always has, so if I make anything with hamburger in it for dinner I make him something else, why fight about something I know he won't eat. Anything else we make he either eats or doesn't, but I'm not making him something else.

A friend of mine has 5 kids and she makes seperate meals for all five of them, but she doesn't mind doing that, so to each their own.

My son goes thru phases of always claiming to be starving also, but I attribute it growth spurts. When he has days like this I just make sure to have alot of fruit or carrotts (his favorite) in the house so at least he is eating healthy. Of coarse he usually just wants garbage so when I offer him up something nutritous he is suddenly not hungry anymore, funny how that happens LOL.

I also have 3 children, 6, almost 4 and almost 2. When my first one was little I would also make him something different. Then when the second one was able to eat table food, I gave it to them both as soon as I could. When giving them the same food as you and your husband eat early on, there are no problems at mealtime and the kids learn to like more variety. Like you said, starting out with a few meals a week is a good way to break them in to the new changes. Let them know this is how it is and they are expected to eat the meals. Also let them know that in the future, they will be eating the same meals as you and hubby every day. They don't need to know that it will be better for them. Good luck to you. I think it definitely decreases the stress level about what to make at dinner time.

K.
I would say start making things that they are familiar with for all of you. If they don't finish their dinner then leave it out and tell them that they can eat that. I don't know if you are open to snacks at night but boys eat ALOT of food. I don't know what that's all about. It doesn't sound like they eat excessively. Another snack before bed wouldn't hurt within reason. Sometimes when my kids won't eat what we are having I just leave it for them. If they are hungry enough they will eat.
There's no reason why you should be a short order cook every time you eat. Introduce new foods slowly. It might take awhile but they should start eating new things if they understand that's their only choice. Good luck.

I came to this thread for advice as well for my 6 year old son. Goodness everyone makes it sound so easy, Everyone says just serve them what you are eating and they eat it or go hungry. But that is what I did starting at 10 months...the problem he has always hated food that is combined together, he only likes individual ingredients. And he detests all sauces especially tomato sauce (he hates pizza and spaghetti). He'll eat most vegies but only if raw or frozen solid. He always has to have a "no thank" taste but he never has learned to really like any of the dishes. He hates hamburger unless it is a particular meatball (Swedish or Simek's Italian) and has never managed to chew a whole bite of any meat except very, very thinly sliced deli turkey (even then he will stop eating it if it is too "wet" or too "dry"). His dad was the same way as a child and had huge arguments about food with his parents and is still resentful of their attitude toward him (50 years later). So my approach has not been to cook a different meal for him but to simply serve the individual raw (or frozen) ingredients on his plate that I used to prepare our meal. But I am getting sick of even that. I really want him to learn to enjoy what food has to offer.

I am wondering if anyone else has had this experience with what seems to be extreme sensitivity to texture and temperature of food as well as the hatred of all food with more than one flavor or texture to it. Does it help to just set a weekly menu of the same 7 meals and eat them over and over until he likes some of them? Personally I prefer a wide variety of foods so I generally serve something different almost everyday of the month (except mac and cheese on many Tuesdays).

1) Make them hungry enough (don't give in between snacks)
2) Bargain - If they want juice - they have to eat brocolli first
3) Enforce - This is what we have, eat it or be hungry
4) Hide all their "options"...cookies out of site, out of mind..hence no temptation
5) Cook a little of what they like and all the family eat that

It is exhausting trying to cook separately and give in to their whining for what they want. When we were growing up, what was on the table is what you ate. If we didn't like it, we didn't get anything else, eventually we ate it..talking from personal experience, I was a picky eater and I hated greens, so when it was served, I would roll it around in my mouth for hours upon end, but my M. didn't care as long as it was in my mouth. Eventually I would have to swallow.

Hi K.! A lot of moms are having a great ole time telling you what you "should have done" 5 years ago, but I don't think that's why you came here. You came here for a solution, so here is one I have to offer:

Start by setting expectations for the kids. Tell them its time for them to start eating like "big boys" the way mommy and daddy do. Then decide what your rule is (i.e. at our house our daughter has to at least try some of everything on her plate and we do not make her anything special other than what we are having). Like a previous poster said, start with semi-kid-friendly meals (mac and cheese with hamburger in it and some green beans as a side; pizza night, etc etc). Then slowly work up to more "refined" meals. I would also second the idea of sticking to your guns once the transition is made. It may sound harsh but in our house what worked was refusing to give in to special requests. If our daughter claimed she wasn't hungry or didn't want what we were having she could be excused. If she came back an hour later claiming to be hungry she got her dinner plate reheated as a solution... nothing more. She now eats like a champ and while she doesn't LOVE everything will at least eat most everything.

As for the evening snack, if the kids are eating at 5:30, that means they are usually done at 6:00ish probably? If their bedtime is 7:30, there probably isn't a good reason to have a snack. Kids DO go through growth spurts but if this is an "every week" event I'd start to curtail it by offering only things like carrots, apples, wheat bread with some PB on it, etc. You may find they're not quite as "hungry" as they thought! ;)

Best of luck making the transition!!

I think I would just stop making separate meals altogether... I never have made different meals. My 19-month-old eats the same things we eat and always has, since she was able to eat solids. Making a special meal was not a pattern I ever wanted to start; I don't have time for that and I'm sure you don't either. The only exceptions would be if my husband and I have sushi or something extremely spicy, etc. - things that I worry would make her sick. As far as the snacking goes, I think that's unavoidable. All kids need snacks... Their metabolisms are on overdrive! We eat around 5:30 and my daughter usually has a small snack - graham cracker and milk or similar - around 7:00. Then off to bed. They need their snacks. To save money buy things like graham crackers or saltines and a block of cheese to cut up. Things like granola bars and string cheese - all the prepackaged stuff - is much more expensive. Good luck... Stop making extra meals - Don't do that to yourself. It's really not necessary!

It is long past time for your 7 & 5 year old to be eating regular food. Your 2 year old should be able to eat some of the things that you are cooking. While to start with they may balk at what to eat they will do so when they are really hungry. It is not unusual for kids to be hungry 2 hours later after dinner and it only gets worse the older they get. Just make sure it is a healthy filling snack.

I'm of two minds in my response here. The first one says, they should be eating what you eat, all the time. Quit making meals for them and just expect it; they'll adjust.

The second part of my mind says I know how this goes! We don't typically make second meals for our kids, although there are some nights where we have leftovers the kids love (sloppy joes) and I'm craving something they hate (shrimp scampi), and I'll let them eat up the leftovers while I make a small portion of the food I like. That said, here's another way we've worked it with our five year old, who is suddenly pickier than he was.

He loves spaghetti. By "spaghetti" I mean pasta (of any shape), topped with spaghetti sauce with ground beef cooked in. So...sometimes we get rid of ground beef, and use chicken--it's chicken spaghetti (or chicken Parmesan, depending on how fancy I make it). Or, we use bread instead of pasta, and make a calzone. Or, instead of red sauce, we sub white sauce, and have chicken alfredo. Or we put it in a pan, and call it lasagna. Anyway--when my son sees something familiar, it goes a long way. The other thing that seems to work for my five year old is the idea that his friends like it. Talk to your friends, especially ones whose kids eat well and whose kids your kids know. I have a friend who cooks mostly local/organic, and her kids (5 and 3) eat a salad at every dinner time. When I told my son this, he at least tried salad. Repeatedly. Ditto with sugar snap peas, and now he LOVES sugar snap peas. We also garden, and my kids really like to eat what they grow.

I really like to cook, and would like to have both more time to do it and kids that were willing to eat it. But...I have growing boys, and telling them if they won't eat it, they'll go hungry, is not an option; they'll wake up miserable in the middle of the night. So...they HAVE to try what is on their plate. [I tell my son that I didn't like yogurt for 20 years, which is true. It also works well for him, because he loves yogurt and can't figure out why someone wouldn't like it...which is the same with what I'm serving, from my perspective. Then, finally, when I was 27, I started to like yogurt. I tell him sometimes it takes time to start liking something, and you don't have to finish it, just try it.] If they truly don't like it (and I know it's something "weird" to their palate) they can get a yogurt.

My kids are pretty good eaters: they eat salad, and raw veggies, all sorts of fruit, brown rice, whole grain pasta, meats of all sorts, including fish...but they still like their kid foods and would eat that if they could. Part of it, for me, is NOT having that stuff in the house, so it's not an option. In our house, Mac and Cheese is a treat for the kids. Ditto hot dogs.

Oh--and I definitely think a snack before bed is not a bad thing; depending on how healthfully your kids are eating, you might want to consider making sure it's a fruit or a veggie; that's one of the big rules for snacking at our house: you can snack whenever you want, even before a meal, but it HAS to be a fruit or veggie.

K.,

I gave our kids what we were eating from the time they were one year old, with the exception of things like steak or a spicy soup or something. By the time they were two, they ate what we had. They eat an afternoon snack during school, we eat dinner about 5:30, only have dessert Monday nights and don't eat again until breakfast the next day. I think it is more likely that they say they are starving because it delays bedtime. And we can condition our bodies to get hungry at any time (if we eat at that time for long enough) regardless of our real need for food.

The earlier you start the better. This is going to be a hard transition because your boys are older and smarter. The rule at our house is "eat what mom fixes for dinner or don't eat." Sometimes they don't eat and that is their choice. They don't starve. All four are well within normal weight and are very physically active.

Buying seperate foods and convenience foods for children is very expensive. I buy organic meat, dairy and produce and whole wheat products with no high fructose corn syrup and our grocery bill for a family of 6 is still only $500-$550 a month because I prepare dinner from scratch, serve leftovers to my husband for lunch so he doesn't eat out, and avoid convenience foods. The kids pack their own school lunches from the healthy choices in our pantry and fridge which also saves a lot of money.

Good luck,
S.

I don't have advice on how to make the transformation, I do know that I insist our daughter (6) eat the same food we do unless there is a good reason (too spicy comes to mind). I can say it is possible to get young children to eat the same food at dinner time, however once you decide to make the transformation I would recommend sticking to your guns on this one. For example, if my daughter doesn't eat her dinner then she is not allowed a snack later.

That brings us to the bedtime snack. My daughter often asks for one and I have things on hand like bananas, yogurt or a PB sandwich. This is normal as far as I can tell - I think growing kids sometimes need extra food. This might be something to talk to your pediatrician about the next time you go in for a routine visit.

S.

Our kids have been eating what we're eating since they could eat finger food, but since it's too late in your situation, I'd tell them they they're big enough to eat the regular dinner...and eat it all together...but make sure you start simple, like spaghetti, and always have at least one food that you'll know they'll like, such as a certain vegetable. It's really up to you to stick to your guns. If they're hungry, then they'll eat. Don't cave in. Also, my son used to complain after dinner that he was still hungry, so now if he says he's done at dinner, we remind him that this is it, and he doesn't get any more food, expect for his banana (to help fight leg cramps). Since we don't cave and give him anything else, he knows we're serious. Now, they (4 and 1) love salad and lentils and beans and indian and mexican and chinese and will eat anything we put in front of them. You're the adult here! Be strong!! :-D

I have 2 Girls and 1 boy ages 8,6,and 3. I have never made them separate meals like may below have said. They don't always like what I serve but they also know that this is dinner and there is nothing else, and if they chose not to eat there is no snacks later. My kids too are snackers but we also tend to eat alittle later closer to 6 or 6:30 then it in bed by 8:00. Being a working mother I have never had time to create 2 separate meals, so I say just cut to the chase and make one meal. Start with things you know they might like, like spaghetti. You might try involving your 7 and 5 year old in helping to make the meal. I find that helps with my older kids when I am trying to introduce something new that they may or may not like. I find when they are involved with helping to make it they tend to eat it more willingly. Hope this helps

Our start eating meals with us at 15 months within reason, now 2.5 and 4.5 eat the same dinner as us every night. Lunch would be our two ingredient meal...lol but dinner is always the same and they learn pretty quick they eat it or go hungry. And they have to eat it for bedtime snack if they choose not to for dinner. Now keep in mind reasonable taste bud differences, My daughter hates green beans but loves corn. My son is opposite so we just make sure to serve at least each once during the week. As long as they get a good amount of the veggies in during the week that's what counts, they don't have to eat them every night. We also have a rule that they cannot say they don't like it unless they have tried a bite. This was a huge decision that helped a lot.

I would suggest that you all eat one menu. Meal time is the perfect time for you to model great nutrition, introduction to new foods, texture tastes and social skills. There may be things that they don't prefer right away but with you and your husband gentle encouragement I would expect you will have some fabulous meals. The five and seven year old are definately old enough to help plan and prepare the meals. Letting them plan the meal for a night is always fun, and yes you and your husband will have to eat what they serve. Great modeling! There are some wondrful kids cook bokks available plus this support their reading and math skills. By 7:30 yes they are hungry! Their bodies are growing as well as their minds. This is the perfect time to do a healthy snack of fruit, applesauce with cinnamon, popcorn, yogurt, cheese and cracker. andon of my kids favorite frozen grapes and pear chunks. (Not for your two year old). I raised boys also and our grocery bill was average to high depending on their growth spurts. We did allow our kids to eat a healthy snack in the evening of their choice if they wanted. They grew up making great choices, getting lots of exercise and not an ounce of fat on them. Have fun, relax and encourage your husband to do some grocery shopping so he realizes the cost of groceries. I am not sure what you live in but in the metro area of Minnesota we have programs called Fare for All, www.fareforall.org This is a programs where you can purchase meat, vegetable and fruit for about half the cost in the grocery store. Good luck