This is for my friend(she in CA),she has 5 yr old girl, the husband past 5 yrs did not give them a penny (only paid the mortgage),she manages thru her savings from work which she left 3 yrs back. The husband used to come and stay for few days and leave later(he has extra marital affair and wanted to continue as well as stay wth his wife) ...my friend was fed up and wanted to leave the marriage (obviously the husband wo'nt give divorce since he has to pay child support)but only after she could find a decent job (she's IT professional) but things were not in her favor.
Yesterday her husband took their car and his own belongings and left. This time she feels since he left wth his belongings he will not come back.She has no car ,not much money and has no clue what to do....
I have started to drop off and pick up her daughter to school but just wondering if anyone can suggest what she needs to do.
She should go to Legal Aid. They can help her figure out her options. They do their services on sliding scale and or free. Best wishes!
She needs to go to the nearest state office and file for food stamps, financial aid, medical cards for herself and the child, child care so she can either find a job or take some classes to get qualified to get a good job, etc....everything she can fill out for. They will have a worker talk to her. She may be able to get some of it but the main point of her doing this is they may help her file for temporary child support and let her know about finding an attorney.
My friend has been a SAHM for over 10 years and her hubby moved in with his girlfriend last summer and stopped paying anything. She got food stamps and stuff due to his lack of financial support. They can get the ball rolling for some of the issues and she can use the assistance.
She needs to file for divorce, she should have done that years ago. It has been ages since the court required a reason or consent for a divorce. All the court requires is I am done. The reason is exactly what is happening to your friend, because if a man had to consent he could play the games he is playing.
He abandoned them. He is now legally in trouble. She needs to call the cops and get a lawyer now. If she doesn't have money, she may need to get a court appointed lawyer, or also sue him for her legal fees, but he is not allowed to just walk out.
Also, he has no choice in a divorce since he is an adulterer, at least that is how it works in MD. That is one of the things that I believe will get you an immediate divorce instead of waiting the year.
Then just be there to support her. I can't imagine going through anything like that.
She needs to go to her local courthouse and file papers for dissolution or at least legal separation and also apply for temporary custody, temporary child support, temporary alimony and temporary exclusive possession of her home. She should also RUN, not walk, to the bank and withdraw exactly 1/2 of all funds in the accounts (if her hubby hasn't already drained them). The courthouse will have a family law advisor who can help her, but the forms are really easy to fill out if you just take your time and answer each question. She can also apply for a fee waiver so she won't have to pay any fees to file her papers and I think she can also get them served through the sheriff if she has a fee waiver.
She needs to get started on this NOW before she finds herself in financial disaster!
You are a good friend for asking for her and providing her with emotional support. Call her right away and have her start TODAY.
I often wonder how these things happen. Why did she let him in or how did he get in to get the things? How long was the car there? We seem to be raised in the knight in shining armour thinking that the guy will come back and be nice and save the day. She needs a lawyer and a job and although it sounds like she has a place to live she might want to plan a new life. Get set financially and take it from there. Yes, time for a divorce. Extra marital affairs and coming and going are pretty big clues this marriage is not working. What is the reason she says she is not filing for divorce? Whether he likes it or not he can be served and must pay child support. At least that is what our laws say. And if he doesn't co-operate, well, then there can be more problems for him. Tell her life is now, and she needs to move into action if not for herself but for her daughter. And get her to sign up here so we can support her through this.
