Marriage Counselor Needed in Mid-Peninsula Area (San Mateo to Palo Alto)

I don't have a recommendation for you unfortunately but wanted to offer some encouragement. I got married later in life too and therefore became a mother later too. It was a HUGE adjustment. We didn't have a couple of years of marriage under our belt to work through living together issues and most of my friends have said they also think it's a bit harder to start kids late as you've had so many years about "you" that suddenly giving up all your freedoms and comforts is a very hard adjustment. It's likely harder for men even. I also got pregnant again quickly and the fights we had! We also don't have a perfect marriage even without kids so it was really tough. But it gets better... Our girls are now 3.5 and 4.75yrs and it's all just much easier and more fun. I can offer more advice if you'd like but I'm not a counselor so finding a pro is a good idea. Just wanted to say don't give up. These early years are tougher for some than others but it doesn't mean you have to divorce and it won't get better. You both will have to make compromises and also realize you're probably just very tired and that makes it all tougher. Good luck.

Understand completely. My husband and I saw Elizabeth Eastman in Palo Alto:
http://www.eastmanpsychotherapy.com/
We only went once as that one visit worked wonders for us. She was recommended to us by a mommy friend of mine who saw her a few times. Hope that helps!

The biggest problem with having kids is that "the joy of your life" USED to be each other / your spouse. That has changed. Now your focus is on babies. Many times it is a very difficult adjustment to make - for all parties involved. I can't help with a counselor, but know that many of us have been there.

Good Luck,
K.

There are many good couples therapists in this area. I am a therapist in Menlo Park, and while I know I do great work...I don't have a big enough ego to recommend myself. One of my colleagues who specializes in couple issues and is great is Beth Anstandig ###-###-####, she gets right to the issues and is very respectful and caring. She works well with men, as mentioned earlier, some female therapists DO have trouble connecting with men.
Also, another great therapist search is www.psychologytoday.com They have a great find-a-therapist search where you can read a bit about each person and they have links to individuals websites.
I wish you the best of luck in finding a good match for you and your husband. Remember, you don't have to stick with the first one you see, if it doesn't feel right, find one that makes you feel comfortable.
It certainly is a big deal adding another child to the mix and the relationship dynamics change so drastically, it is hard to stay connected.
Best of luck,

Hi K.,
I'm a family therapist myself and would recommend, w/out hesitation, Jerry Shapiro, Ph.D. He's pricey but worth every penny and works out of Menlo Park. His number is:
###-###-####.
Z.

Try Parents Place in either San Mateo or Palo Alto. They have both parenting specialists as well as a terrific counseling department. parentsplaceonline.org

Wil Baumker in San Carlos, on Howard Ave. Don't know his number, but I'm sure you can look him up. He's a wonderfully patient and straight-talking guy--and usually guys who are being pulled into counseling respond better to guys. He's a great listener and suggester of things to think about.

Good luck!