Marital Problems I Need Advice

K.--I say let him bump his head. You and your husband know that this guy (not sure how the "ex step brother" thing works but I'd like to know)is a user and yet he still allows him to do business? Well my husband begged and begged to buy a new truck. I told him we really couldn't afford that right now but that I did understand him needing a new car. He and his brother snuck off one day and he ended up buying an 07 Titan!! Now this was at the end of 06 when gas prices were soaring! I was so angry I could have hurt him but I stayed calm...which is not like me at all. Whenever he complained about gas, I'd remind him of the truck. When he complained about having no money, I'd remind him of the truck. When he asked me for money, I'd remind him of the truck. Finally, he asked me to come with him to trade in the truck and COSIGN for another car. My response--" You didn't ask me to help you buy this truck so ask your brother to co-sign for another car." His brother's credit is horrible so he knew he couldn't do that. Now we're moving to Atlanta and what's the first thing he wants to do when we get there????Sell his truck on the internet. "I shouldn't have bought it in the first place," he says this now about a year and hundreds of dollars later. I say let your husband bump his head. If you've already agreed that this guy is not good for business and your husband broke the agreement, let him find out the hard way. You and I both know that this "ex step brother" is going to mess up soon so just let nature take its course.

I strongly agree with Gina, "Let him BUMP his head"!

For some reason Men can only learn a lesson when they have failed terribly at something. So since the damage has been done, he has re-hired him, bought the car, and now given the guy yet another job to do to be a part of his life, let him go through with it. The guy is obviously going to let him down and not hold his end of the deal, and maybe, hopefully then he will see that this was a dumb idea. If you confront him, or *nag* as we tend to do (or so we are told) then he is only going to find other ways to get under your skin. Let him learn this on his own, since he did not consult you on any of it, let it be known that there is no reason to consult you on it when it all goes to hell.

Hi K.,
I agree with the other posts. I think men feel the need to 'be their own man" and they find areas of thier lives to do this. It might be the ex brother in law egging him on, who knows. My husband's 2001 ford explorer needed a new engine..about $3,500. I suggested he look for a re-build one for about 1/2 the cost. BUT NO...he bought a newer/used SUV, with the old one still sitting in the garage, not running. Didn't listen to any of my advice. Ugh!!!! When he talks being tight, not having money this payday, I don't say a word. Hang in there.

Hi. Go to www.marriagetoday.org. There is a lot of really great, helpful marital advice. Have you guys sought marriage counseling?