Man, I Am Tired ALL the TIME - SAHD Wondering How You All Get Energized?

Good Luck Richard! You'll always be tired but there are ways to not feel tired, a little depressed and penned in. First of all, I hope the kids take a nap during the day. If they do, don't try and run around while they are sleeping, take 20 minutes lay down and completely let everything go. Since they are gettting a little older get a video of a fun work out, like dancing to the oldies, or something that they can do with you. You can do a full work out and they can pretend to be working out with you. Men need to get their hormones going or they can fall into a depression so do some work out. I have a 14 year old boy who is in highschool. Three times a week he goes over to a friend of mines house and takes her two toddlers to the park. He's happy because he gets paid a couple of dollars and she is thrilled because she goes and plays tennis for a couple of hours. So find a neighborhood kid that wants some spending money and go play basketball or jog. You would be surprised how much energy you get when you work out. You would think you would be more tired but you feel like you can concur the world. You have to do something for yourself or you will get very frustrated. So what if the house isn't clean or the kids look a little dirty, if you are happy they will be happy. Oh by the way, get a sitter instead of going out and leaving your wife at home to watch the kids. She works hard too and you should spend time together. Marriages last when couples do things together more then apart. If you work out you will have the energy to do both.

Hi Richard,

You need a break! However, whenever you can get it, get some time in for yourself even if you have to pay a family member to come watch your twins for you. You are useless to your family and your babies if you are not up to par.

My Dh and I don't have family nearby so we worked out a system where I could sleep as long as I want on his off days. I get a hot, relaxing bath and time to just relax for myself. It's not much, but it is so refreshing!!! We also make time to get out of the house even if it's just going to the grocery store or for a walk around the block. Fresh air and sunshine does the body good.

Go to Ebay or the Salvation Army and see if you can find a treadmill. Dh found me one for $100. I put my baby in the Bjorn (carrier) and I work out at home. I also have a stationary bike I can ride while the baby sleeps. I make an effort to do things I enjoy so I don't feel like all I do is changing diapers and nursing. I love to cook and bake so I'm always trying new recipes and such. I also love to scrapbook and have been making really cool digital scrapbooks of our baby. That's been very relaxing for me.

There is a group on Yahoo called "Friendly Freezer" that has hundreds of great recipe ideas that can be made and frozen ahead of time. It's so nice to pop a lasagna in the oven with NO work, heat some garlic bread and make a quick salad for a good dinner with little effort. I haven't really gone full out on the Once a Month Cooking, but it's nice to have nice, healthy meals ready to go on those days when I have no more steam.

I don't know if this helps at all, but it works for us. We are just taking things one day at a time here and it's going pretty well. Be patient with yourself. It takes time to get into a routine that works for your family. Above all, take time for yourself. A happy parent makes a happy family.

Take care,
J.

I feel so bad for you, poor guy. First its great that you take care of the kids but what id suggest is get grandma over there at night so you can get some sleep or during the day if you guys have family or friends who can take them for a couple hours so you can go have some you time, do that. Or if grandma isnt available at night, get someone else you trust to watch them so you can get some rest. It becomes very stressful with more than one kid and you basically are doing the bulk of the work. You get stressed real fast so start recruiting some help so you can focus on yourself. Would you like my eight week old to add to the stress, lol?

Richard,

First of all, I must say it's so refreshing to read a post like yours. Kudos to you for being so family oriented - and honest!

To me, I think the best remedy for you is to get out and be able to do your own thing! You work hard all week with your children and that's exhausting. You need to get some quality, adult, male time doing whatever you want (ahem, within reason).

My husband and I both work full-time jobs and we both enjoy playing softball. This past summer we both got an evening to play on our own teams. We each had a night where we didn't have to worry about Jacob. Most of the time we went to each others games, but on the nights I was playing Rich took care of Jake from the get-go all the way to bath and bed. And vice-versa on his nights.

I understand that your wife has a great job, but is there any way that you can communicate with her (as wonderfully as you did in your post) that you need her home more? Besides you, your kids need her, too. There has to be a good balance between work and family and it doesn't sound like she's getting that. If this post were from any of the women, I would say the same thing about Dad being gone so much, too.

As for the sex thing...you weren't too specific (which is fine, lol!) but too much/too little depends on the person. I know couples that aren't "friendly" more than once every 6 months. I know others who are friendly more than once a week. It depends on what works for each. BUT, I personally think that you are not only looking for some "adult" time but also more attention from your wife in any way.

Seriously, talk to her. Get someone to take the kids overnight. Go to dinner/movie/bowling/whatever. Tell her exactly how you feel. She must know what a wonderful husband/Dad you are and no doubt respects and appreciates that, but sometimes we get so wrapped up in real-life and take things for granted.

Best of luck to you!

First of all, Richard, you are my hero! I have never EVER heard a man so eloquently put everything that I, as a mother, have felt. And I know there are other moms out there who feel the same. You have to make time for yourself, whether it's a movie, exercise class, or just a walk outside alone. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be on your A game for the babies. Second, just because your wife has a great job, don't let that be an excuse for her to disconnect. You work what is the equivallent of 3 full time jobs, so let her help you! Third, the sex thing...make a date. I know it's not spontaneous or what it was like before the kids, but if you want to maintain closeness, you have to specifically set a time for the two of you. Much luck to you and I think it sounds like you are doing one hell of a job! -R.

First of all I am proud of a guy that takes care of the kids while mom get her job thing on. Second I find that having two boiled eggs in the morning with two pieces of toast a fruit and milk have me on a natural high ALL DAY LONG. I( went to a nutrionist to get myself a great balanced diet (not weight loss diet) If you can go see one it would benefit you 100% (Key I am pregnant and have a 5 yr old I home school.I am definately tired all the time.). I am always on the go so my meals where adjusted for me to eat nutritious meals from anywhere (Fastfood included). The breakfast that I have most of it is prepared days in advanced(ie eggs can be boiled and refrigerated for at least 4 days) the only thing that I actually make is the toast. Hope this helps. I alos responded to the othe post you put up on the sex issue.