Making Friends with New School

You've had some good ideas so here's my take on it. I would recommend getting involved in some school program (although it may be a little late in the season for it now) but certainly come fall! Then I would make an overture to do something special for your daughter. Plan a "Just because" party. Make this an EVENT for your daughter and plan something really cool like a scavenger hunt, make over party, tea & doll party, or go someplace cool like a bounce house/activity center. If your daughter doesn't give you the names of the girls she's playing with, check with the teacher and get the parents names and numbers. THEN, in addition to the invitation you extend, I would follow up with a phone call to each one of them personally letting them know why you are doing this and how difficult you have found it to get involved and find play mates for your daughter. Perhaps this will open up avenues you never knew about. Many times we just rush in and rush out of school. I have to say I only know one parent in my son's class fairly well and none in my daughters and I am a SAHM and volunteer on a REGULAR basis at the school! Some people just aren't that social! We invitied 18 people to my daughter's birthday party 2 months ago and only got 6 to come. Likewise with my son, only 3 came. People are busy and wrapped up in their own lives. I commend you as a parent who is empathsizing with her daughter about a difficult time. I hope I've given you some ideas. But I really think, ultimately, it will be your taking the bull by the horns that will get anything done.

BTW- at the party, I would chat with the parents about what activities they are signing their daughters up for this summer. A lot of places have already started enrollment and it would give her something more to talk about at school and plan with her friend. Maybe you all could share car pool or you will have a contact that can pick up your daughter in case she gets sick and you can't pick her up. Always good to have a backup contact! ;)

Does your school have a PTA/PTO? Ours publishes a directory with phone numbers/emails of the other members....

Also, does she do soccer, cheering, girl scouts? Those are good places to meet the other moms.....

I would let it play out for a little while. Over the summer I would sign her up for a sport or something in the community where she can continue to develop those friendships. You may want to throw a big "playdate" party - a potluck picnic or something - for everyone in the class at a playground or a beach this spring or early summer. Or even send an email to everyone in the class one weekend saying that you are going bowling or roller skating or to a pool and you're hoping that some families can also come and do the activity with your family. Give her time - a few months isn't very long to make friends and she may be overwhelmed by the work she has to put in to be social at school right now. It will come. :)

School is not over yet. Call the homeroom mom and ask what you can help with. Call the PTA president and see what their next big even is and see if you can help in some way.

Also if there is one child that your daughter speaks fondly of, call that mom and see if you you can take the girls for ice cream one afternoon or go to a movie.. It is just a matter of letting them see you do not have 2 heads. Families are very busy, highly scheduled and set in routines. Sometimes I think we forget to reach out to the new people.

Is there a class list/directory? In our schools here, the teacher provides one with names, addresses and phone numbers to facilitate play dates and party invitations. Ask for one, and if your daughter started during the school year, an updated one should be provided.
I'd suggest getting your daughter involved in some activities outside of school - Girl Scouts, soccer, dance - kids with a similar interest. It's easier to get to know each other in that type of setting and if you're at weekend or evening events, you'll get to know the other parents and perhaps help your daughter to set up plans with other girls.
Good luck

I would suggest her getting more involved with after school activities. Playing sports, summer camp etc. I am probably not the right person to answer this question, but I will anyway. I was the mom who was friends with all of her daughters friends moms, so I thought. Once my daughter hit middle school and began to excel in sports, grades, etc.it became my biggest nightmare. Once that evil jealousy sets in being friends with your daughters friends mothers isn't always the best things When my daughter became captain of her cheer team, all of my wonderful so called friends disappeared. They talked about how my daughter only got these honors was because I was so involved. Mothers can become very jealous, competitive, petty, and way to involved. I was a stay at home mom back then so I was the class mom, team mom, pta mom, the mom who invited all of the girls over for playdates, and it was all unappreciated. In their eyes my daughter excelled because I was so involved and a part of her life, not because she deserved it. She ended up a victim of all of the mean girls in school and lost most of her friends. She went from being the most popular girl to living a nightmare. It was like something out of a bad dream. If you watch the movie Mean Girls I feel like it was written based on my daughters life!! Anyway, when she reached high school level and I was no longer class mom, team mom, because parent involvement was minimal in that area, she still became team captain, top of her academic class, and an all around great kid. Without me being involved. So my advice is to be polite, let her make friends on her own though extra activities and stay clear of your daughters friends mothers. I think your intentions are all wonderful and I too just wanted to be a part of my daughters life. You can be a part of her life but as I said just involve her more and she will find her way on her own. I told you I was the wrong person to answer this post LOL!!!!!!!! Good luck, and I think you are a great mom for caring and wanting to be such an important part of your childrens lives. Oh and get the book, Queen bees and wannabees. It can really help you to help her with girl group dynamics, on how they work and the role that each girl plays. It was very informative, and did help me to find ways to help her through.

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