Making Connection

It sounds like a tough position that you're in! First I wanted to address the counseling thing...it really does sound as if you're heading down a dangerous spiral if you don't even want to get out of bed in the morning. Do you have health insurance? If you do, many plans will cover seeing a counselor at least a few times. If you don't have a plan that covers it but really do want to talk to someone, look into your county's mental health department. I know in Johnson County you can see therapists for free or cheap if you want/ need it.

Someone else posted recently about a website called meetup.com...that might be a good place to get started on finding different groups of people to hang out with while you're still looking for a church you like. It's really hard to be put in the position of making friends when you're a grown woman! It seems so easy, but it's not! I believe you will find your niche, hang in there and keep plugging along! Winter is depressing enough on it's own so good look and get out there! :)

C.A.,

Well I don't know where you live, but we go to a great church in Olathe called Church of the Harvest. It is located at about 148th and Blackbob on the east side of the street. The main pastors are David and Tracy Frech. This is not a big and showy church, which also turns me off. They have rooms and programs for all ages of kids, and I don't think they would get bored. Our church really seems to want to reach out to the youth, so they have some good stuff for them. Now Pastor David is a very dynamic speaker. He is fun, funny, preaches by the bible, is a husband, a father, intelligent, progressive, and friendly.

Again, I don't know where you live, but you should try the church at least once. I think you will find very friendly people there, and they welcome newcomers. There are many different groups to get involved in with the church if you wanted extra involvement besides just Sunday service. If you would like to learn more you can look at www.churchoftheharvest.org.

Let me know if I can give you any more information or help! It does not sound pathetic, and everyone needs some help sometime. I get down and depressed too, I think all women do at some point in their life. We need to help each other through these things!

Take care,
B. S.

Hi there...what area do you live in???

What part of town are you in? I attend Breakpointe Community Church right by the main library in Overland Park, Ks. They are very friendly, have a very active women's group as well as wonderful children's and youth pastors. They have a meal on Wednesday evenings at 5:30 followed by Bible and study groups. If you would like to check them out, I'd be happy to meet you there tomorrow evening. Feel free to call me, B. DeMack
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C.A., my dear, for starters let me say welcome to the area. That may sound strange given your initial reaction to relocating, but after being in your boat about 1 1/2 years ago, we now love this area and wouldn't want to leave.

Not sure where you live, but we'd love to meet you at our church, Lord of Life on 135th between Mission and State Line (www.lordlife.com). The biggest thing that kept us coming back is that our children like it. We also have a very active women's ministry -- Mothers of Preschoolers, Bible studies, monthly social ministry events and more -- plus small groups and Wednesday evening praise/Christian ed.

Winter's only beginning, not the time of year that you want to be feeling lonely and isolated. If you don't think you can pull yourself out, try going through the county or on-line to find free or sliding-scale counseling. I know it exists, I just can't give you any specific resources.

My email is ____@____.com Best wishes!

what about a moms group? parents day out? going to free functions in the kc metro area and meet other moms? what about the moms in your neighborhood - have a get together in the neighborhood to meet new people. hope that helps.

I dont know if you have tried this church but I love it it is Valley View United Methodist at 95th and Antioch. We have a moms group called GEMS we get together 2-3 times a month and I am a very shy person who finds it hard to get to know people and they have welcomed me with open arms they are very loving and friendly and I have found some great friends in them all I would love to invite you to our next meeting. give me a response if you are interested and I can give you the info. good luck and hang in there.

I am actually going through that now. One of my best friends lives in Wichita so I dont see her that often, but we talk on the phone everyday so I am able to keep some of my sanity :). My other best friend well the actual term now is ex friend .... anyway she decided that I was adding drama to her life (because I decided to tell her how I was feeling about things and how she had been making me feel) well long story short we ended our 12 year friendship on Thanksgiving :( !!! I was in a really bad state of depression, I was having bad thoughts all the time. Well after we ended the friendship I decided to focus more on my kids, doing things that I like, and cleaning my house. I know it sucks not having friends but for right now I am focusing on other things to keep my mind off of it. Good luck !!! Just wanted you to know you were not alone !

I'm confused as to WHY? you cannot afford counseling? You say you cannot afford it, yet you are talking about packing up and moving back to your old town?????? I think you could make friends if you wanted to, but are having some "serparation anxiety" from where you moved. What's wrong with having some friends that have other things in common than you do? It's called variety. You might enjoy their company or hearing about what they do, etc.

The best way I have found to make new friends is to go where your interests or hobbies are. I moved to KC 8 years ago from Seattle and for the first year it was rough. The people were very different from Seattle. I felt like I was not at all like any of the Johnson County people. I was also depressed for a while and had a small baby too. It's not easy! But, I knew what my interests were and then joined things that included those interests and surrounded myself with like-minded people. For example, I did yoga in Seattle and when I moved here I looked for a yoga studio and found the right one for me. I joined it and soon enough I made friends with the teacher as well as some of the students and I am still friends with these people 8 years later. Another example, I was nursing my baby at the time and I decided to join a local Le Leche League that held meetings. I met new friends there and and felt part of a community and group that were like-minded. We could really talk as we shared a common goal which was to share our nursing stories, get help, advice, etc. What are your interests? I will say that I did get counseling and my insurance paid for 80% of it. I am a strong supporter of counseling and if you have insurance that will cover most then you should check that out. Your children and husband need you to be healthy and happy for them as well as for yourself!

Have you tried joining a smnall group at one of those mega churches? I know large churches can seem overwhelming but there is alot going on at them as well. I'd give it another try. A good one that is close to you is College Church of the Nazarine. They are an excellent church with lots going on. Another great one that's a bit further is Church of the Ressurection in Leawood. They do have a west Olathe campus where the sermons are on a big screen. I'd definately check one of those churches out!!

I know how hard making good friends can be. I am fortunate enough to have a couple of friends I don't know what I would do without sometimes. My husband on the other hand doesn't have many. We'd love to have another couple to just hang out with sometimes. One of my best friends is single & the other is married, but he works some wierd hours & my husband doesn't really have that much in common with him. He could really use a guy to talk to & I am very social & love making new friends. We don't attend a church right now, cause our favorite one moved about 20 miles away & that's just too far to drive. Also, for the last 6 months I have been working overnight & having Sun & Mon off, but I have to work Sat night till 7am Sun. I am ready to come home & relax after work, not go to church. I like to watch Joyce Meyer on TV sometimes. Her program is called "Enjoying Everyday Life". She applies the Bible to today which makes her much more interesting to me personally. We enjoy NASCAR & football. I social drink on a rare occasion. My husband, Eddie doesn't drink at all anymore, he's had a lot of health problems, so he can't even have a beer anymore. I smoke, but not in my house. I have a 14-year-old daughter--Eddie is her step-dad who she calls dad. We have 2 parakeets & a lizard (leopard gecko). You can e-mail me if you want to. We are in Overland Park. My name is G.. Our e-mail address is ____@____.com.

Hi C.A.B.
I'm so sorry to hear that you haven't been able to connect yet in this area. Your feelings of depression are just proof that God created us to be in community with one another, to share our lives together, to know others intimately and be there for one another! I too would be depressed if I hadn't found this sense of connection in my new city (don't feel that you're alone for feeling this way)! We attend a great church called City Life. It is off I-35 and 18th Expressway. We live in Gardner so it is a drive for us, but we love it sooo much! These people are our family and we are always open to more friends :) We are a small church and meet in an elementary school gym. The kids go to children's church and have a blast! You are more than welcome to visit us. We would love to have you and help you get connected! Here is our website: http://www.kccitylife.org/. Blessings to you and your family this holiday season!!

M.

What are do you live in?

Hey there! My heart goes out to you, I know that relocating can be hard. We relocated to Atlanta, GA a few years ago. I was so miserable. We did end up coming back home to Kansas City. We didn't have kids then, so it was a little easier for us to pick up and move.

I know you already ruled out counseling, but sometimes your health insurance will pay for it. It sounds like you might actually have clinical depression... which you shouldn't ignore. You might want to consider visiting your doctor, they might be able to give you a prescription.

Another poster mentioned joining a moms group, I think that's a great idea. There are a lot in the area, if you just do a Google search for "Mom Club Kansas City" you'll find a few different groups. Mamasource also has a list: http://www.mamasource.com/businesses/11910340960627720193.... Hopefully, you'll find one that will suit you.

Good luck, I hope things get better for you soon.