Lwork Question

Sorry, I think you're waaaay over reacting.

Quite honestly, if you think this is a big deal, I'd cringe if I had you working for me. It tells me that there's no leeway for humor with you, which is how I let off steam.

I don't think many people realize that 49 out of 50 states are "Employment at Will" states (I believe Montana is the lucky one.)

So what does this mean? Unless you are under contract you can be let go, fired, laid off for NO reason at ANY time. It works both ways, you can quit a job at any time for any reason.

If you do not like the comments or work conditions you have no other choice than to find an alternate employer. And don't waste your time citing it as your reason for leaving. Do you really want to stick your hand into that hornet's nest? Do you think it will really change anything? Sadly no.

My bottom line is this...pound the pavement hard and get out while the getting is good. This obviously is not a good work environment for you. You said you need the income so find an alternate sooner than later.

I would also recommend that during an interview you do as much interviewing of the employer as they do of you. Questions such as "How many people are in the department? How long have they been here? and Where is the person that I will be replacing?" If they respond with answers inferring that other employees' tenures are not that long and that the former employee left for other opportunities then read between the lines and run as fast as you can. If everyone has been there a long time and the former employee was promoted to a more senior role then that is more of an environment where you want to be.

It would only be a potential issue if there was any way a reasonable person would consider it factual. Do you actually think a reasonable person would believe you were a terrorist interrogator? and now you are working there? That they started with something so out in left field no one would believe it makes it all a joke, nothing more.

So I vote you are totally overreacting.
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I find it interesting that people think the comment "I know Colombians" is racist. No where in here post did she say she was Hispanic or any nationality that would may that a reasonable assumption that it was a dig on her personally.

Second, if I had a dollar for every time someone jokes about us Sicilians I could retire. It is funny because I am the very opposite of the horse head in the sheets stereotype.

I feel like people are reading a heck of a lot of baggage into the words here.

I see this as no different than when people say don't cross me, my family knows where to bury the bodies. It is a joke! I don't see it being any different to joke she knows Colombians that joking that my family was Mafia.
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After reading your what happened, it still depends. Is there a pattern of harassment. If this is just a one of it was a joke that missed the mark. Pretty much he was saying he isn't pleased with your work product but was trying to keep it light.

The thing is a one of is not actionable. If you go above him, only you will get in trouble for the work product issue. If you go to an attorney they will tell you hostile work environment must be ongoing and pervasive.

It was a joke that missed its mark, file it away, if you start seeing a pattern then consider going to someone. The problem now is you are new and not performing as they want, even if it isn't your fault, you will lose your job over this if you pursue and the whistle blower laws will not protect you.

As someone who works in HR I will tell you this. Yes it is inappropriate and could be considered Hostile work environment, however based on the fact that he is a Board Member that does not bode well for you.

It all depends on how the company operates, but they would probably do a cursory investigation and maybe say that they spoke to him about it and it was a joke and he knows not to say it in the future.

Now this also does not bode well for you. While you shouldn't have to pay for reporting most likely what will happen is that they will be looking for ways to get rid of you if you do.

If I were you, I would just look for another job and not say anything until you are ready to leave.

Riiight...because anyone in charge of or involved with international interrogation in any form is allowed to openly mention it and ask a question about it on a non-military non-government website intended for maternal topics.

Honey, you really should be more careful than that. Sorry, but there's my honest response.

My eyes would narrow and I would get a hard look in my eye and say something like, I'm from ky and live in TX and you can't scare me and don't ever try again. But that's just me.
I think it's really over the top. I would be direct with him but if you think he is the type to retaliate, I would take it up with human resources.

It would help to know what the tone was like and if the boss and coworker were laughing at all during the exchange.

It was a stupid thing for the boss to say, however (and I hate that I'm saying this about such a stupid comment that the boss said) it's being taken out of context and we're not being given the whole story OR you took it out of context and didn't have the whole story.

I wouldn't automatically report this to human resources without knowing a lot more about the people involved and the atmosphere of this particular work place.

You are not clear about two separate issues: are you over or under this person who made these comments? Did you personally witness the exchange?

If you witnessed the exchange the very fact that you are bringing it here makes me think it unnerved you. The Columbian comment is racist and easily marked as inappropriate. If this person works for you by all means they need a "coaching" with a personnel file memo. If you are under (I suspect) you should go over their head and report the conversation. Even if they were both completely "joking" it is still inappropriate and he should be counseled to stop.

Last question: does the person it was said to have an issue? (If they do not - report it anyway.)

As an employer I would want to know about this early on before it became a problem. I sincerely do not think you are over reacting even if they were joking.

Joking or not joking, I think you are working with someone who has issues. Personally, I would look for other work or transfer out of the department. Until then, do your work and mind your business.

I have worked with plenty of veterans, as well talked to plenty more and have uncles who are veterans. They don't walk around reminiscing about their hostile days, in which I am sure there were some.

I think I need more information. I also think it's Friday and posts become sketchy for the next few days.

It's clearly inappropriate - but I am certain that your boss was kidding - although he is very wrong in doing so - on so many levels. How big is this company? Is he a senior executive? I'm so confused taht he's a "board member" - are you working for a non-profit organization or are you working for a big company?

If your employer is large enough to have a human resources department it would be doing the company a service to let them know that this manager/ executive is saying things in a way that could cost the company tons of money in a lawsuit, etc. He may be really good at what he does becuase he kids around with his employees - but if you're not used to that type of communication and banter it can be upsetting.

Overall though, you need to develop a thicker skin. I can assure you that he won't be using Colombians to break your legs if you can't find a product or vendor. He's used to a certain type of banter - commonly used with the guys when they're throwing the football around, or when watching sports on TV, etc.

I've said things to my kids and their friends like "if another thing gets broken" , or "if you guys eat more than X number of cookies" "I'll break your fingers" then I laugh deviously. My kids & their friends know their fingers will never get broken...

One final tip - I'm assuming you've emigrated to this country since your use of the English language - at least in writing - is pretty rough. You'll have more job opportunities open to you if you improve your communication skills. Learn how to phrase a sentence, read more so you can figure out correct spelling & punctuation, use spell check and a dictionary. By reading newspapers, books & magazines you can vastly improve your writing and speaking skills.

Good luck mama.

Wrong. It's a threat. Report it and if you can, steer clear of this lunatic.

I would consider this nothing less than a threat and take it to human resources. If you don't have a human resources dept at your job I would discuss it with your bosses supervisor. If your boss is the highest supervisor I would call the labor board for advice.

While I agree with others that the tone of voice has a lot to do with whether he was being rude or jokeful, I do think that it was immature and unprofessional either way. I would joke like that with a friend, maybe even a co-worker I'd consider a friend and close to my level, but definitely not a subordinate. They can take this as a serious threat and a power trip on my part and resent me.

It can definitely come across the wrong way if this person is otherwise pretty serious and not a jokester under any circumstances. At the same time, unless he repeats things along those lines or says it in a threatening tone, I wouldn't report it, I would just watch this person and see how he keeps acting around me.

It may have been a subtle way of saying you're not an efficient enough employee or again, it may have been a joke. The only way to tell is by observing if he acts like this again, and if he's normally humorous. You can also see how he treats other employees to get a grasp on whether he may just act that way around anyone or if he may be trying to send you a hint regarding your performance.