D.M.
Hi Mom---Being overweight is a frustrating situation and realizing that you need to do something serious is the first step towards changing that situation. First, you have to realize that it's taken some time to get where you are now, so give yourself the time necessary to undo what has been done.
I work as a Wellness Educator and I have the honor of learning from some forward thinking healthcare professionals in this country. I've taken classes from a Naturopath who has her PhD in Nutrition. This is very important to understand. What you need to do is totally change your way of life in terms of what you think a diet is. A diet is a way of life, consuming foods that will support optimal health. It is NOT a short-term project and then stops when your desired weight is achieved. Things like 'diets' and even the lap band surgery will NOT work if you do not make those lifestyle changes. So why not just go with the program that works and keeps you where your body needs to be?
First, do you exercise? It is non-negotiable. Find a program that you will like and stick with it. At first, it may to just get around the block. I highly recommend hiring a trainer if you can. Having an accountability partner helps tremendously. Schedule it like you would any other appointment and then keep that appointment, just like you would the doctor. The more you do, the more it will support what you will be doing dietarily.
Next, you want your diet to consist of nutrient dense foods, which means plants. Plants have the volume to keep you full without lots of calories. You may want to look at things like a volumetrics diet or a flexitarian diet if you like to have a program to follow. Anyway, you don't necessarily have to be a vegetarian or vegan, but I would recommend eating vegetarian or vegan meals to help with weight loss. Your diet should consist of about 90% calories from plants. Plants give you fiber, fiber helps fill your stomach with fewer calories. If you must count something, keep track of how much fiber you eat every day...aim for 50 grams. Eliminate dairy (see www.pcrm.org, www.thechinastudy.com) and minimize animal protein comsumption, using meat more as a flavoring for soups or stews. Within pcrm, there is a booklet you can download called the Vegetarian Starters Kit. You'll be surprised at how easy it is to transition to eating less meat. Too much meat leads to diseases such as cancer, heart disease and diabetes anyway. Eating less is also good for the planet. It takes FAR less water and land to raise plants than it does animals...if that is important to you. But I digress.
I have all kinds of other ideas, like simply don't buy snacks, they will call your name from the kitchen and you will eat them if they are there. You wonder about the rest of your family? Eating this way will be a good way to eat for a long and healthy life for everyone.
You can get some great recipe ideas from www.vegetariantimes.com and www.eatingwell.com. Again, within PCRM I have signed up to get recipes emailed to me from their Cancer Project. I use many of their recipes (usually adding additional spices for more flavor) and one, actually two, that we use is a 3 Bean Chili on top of Tex Mex Bulgar Pilaf.
So, I hope I haven't confused you too much. I know I've given you a lot to think about. You might even want to take the Wellness 101 class from the Naturopath. It can be done long distance. Feel free to call me if you have any questions. I'd be happy to help. Good luck...D.