Low Sex Drive Actually Zilch *Info Added*

Hi J. :)

I've noticed that with me--my sex drive improves when I'm eating healthier. All the additives and such in food these days I believe causes a lot of health issues including infertilitiy and low-sex drive. I've been eating lots of fresh fruits and veggies and avoiding processed foods, additives and trans fats. I've also dropped 8 lbs over the last 6 weeks because of the diet change so that's a bonus too! hehe :)

Best of luck,
M.

No Jane, not confusing... it sounds like a bit of depression... and I know the exercise thing you are talking about... it's not that weight wise you need to exercise... it's the peace of mind and the relax feeling you get from it.. I have 4 boys and chased for years BUT until I started exercising and doing it for my self that I started feeling better and have more energy and sex drive give it a try

R.

Hi J.! I don't have concrete advice, just encouragement. I haven't suffered with depression like you described, but my best friend has - and it goes hand in hand with low sex drive, by the way. I'm so glad you're reaching out, and I know other 'mamas' will have good advice. The only think I would suggest is seeing a female doctor rather than a male. Men seem to think all of women's woes can be solved with exercise :-) Another idea is a Bible study specifically directed toward conquering depression. Beth Moore went through a severe bought with depression and wrote a Bible study to help other women overcome the same thing. I can't think of the title, but would be happy to look if you are interested. The fact that you're seeking help is a huge step in the right direction! Hang in there - you'll have a success story to share with other women one of these days!

Hello, J.! I'm 34, have 3 sons, one of which is 14 years old. I'm also a stay at home mom, but I don't substitute teach anymore. So basically, we have a few things in common. I love being a stay at home mom, but my mother who was also a stay at home mom while my brother and I were young didn't enjoy it as much as I do. She was always depressed, my brother and I were convinced she hated us, although now she says that was not the case. Apparently, being a SAHM she felt isolated. She didn't have many friends, she didn't get out for a mom's night out or dates with my dad or anything. She was lonely, she was depressed, she was mean to us and was always fighting with my dad. She needed an outlet and she didn't have one. My hubby stays with the kids sometimes so that I can have a mom's night out or go out to the movies with my mom (we get along fine now). You just need to know that you are someone other than "Mommy". As far as you're husband is concerned, coming onto you is NOT the answer! That only makes it worse! Better to offer to watch the kids so that you can get out and have some fun away from them. Not that you don't like them, but you need a break! If you could recharge your batteries, just maybe that sex drive might come back. I'm talking from experience here, like you~ would feel relieved if I never had to do that again! But for my marriage's sake, because I do love my hubby and feel like I couldn't live without him, I have scheduled dates (they are on the calendar so I can't get out of it even if I want to) for some together time after the boys go to bed if you know what I mean. Plus, we have started going to church which also helps in that area because God loves us and wants us to be together as man and wife. The scheduled dates takes the pressure off of me because he's not making lude comments and touching me inappropriately in front of the boys anymore. His attitude has improved greatly. I guess he felt like I didn't love him anymore because I didn't want to do that, you know? It's not alot, just three nights a month and it's helped greatly. I still could care less if those three nights ever came again, but I don't dread it so much anymore wondering when he's going to come on to me or whatever~ I can relax, because I don't have to do it unless it's marked on the calendar. Plus, I'm doing something for him~ not me! It really has helped, maybe you should try it. Pray about it, marriage is not easy but God put us together that way for a reason. Oh, I do agree with the doc about exercising. I know you don't want to hear it, but it's true! You don't even have to go to the gym! I have some exercise tapes that I do in the afternoon after the kids get up from naptime and are having thier snacks. I have enough that I don't get bored cause I'm not doing the same one everyday, I can just do whichever one I think will help my mood that day and help me to get through the rest of the day. It's hard to get started, but I always feel better afterwards. I'm not overweight either~ 5'2" and 113 lbs. I promise you it will help your mood. Ok, I just now saw your second paragraph. Tae-bo~ I don't think so (not for me)! Try some yoga, pilates, or aerobic exercise tapes. I recently added a weight tape to my regime and it's great. I don't like that high energy crap, sorry, I tried it and I don't think it's what you are looking for right now. P.S. the bubble bath never worked for me either! I hope that my advice helps you, I just thought that you sounded alot like me and some like my mom, too! She's working now and has friends and is doing alot better now that we are grown, but my brother will never forgive her and wants nothing to do with her. My dad and her are getting along a lot better now, too! I think being a stay at home mom is a very important job, and I'm not telling you to go to work, but you definetly need an outlet~ more than just concerts! That doesn't sound very relaxing to me! LOL You have a teenage boy at home who needs you! Teenagers need their parents more than people think! Sorry so long, you subject was important to me! I hope I've helped you!

Well, what your doctor meant was to actually work out - lift weights, do an exercise video, etc...get into shape somewhat. Maybe play basketball with your kids, ride a bike, play tennis, go walking with a friend, etc...When you work out, it releases endorphins which make you feel better. The effect won't be immediate, so don't give up after a short period of time.

Also, something else that will help would be to get away from caffeinated drinks and drink water. That will also give you more energy. Recommended amount is 8 glasses of water a day. I keep a water bottle with me and fill it up when it gets empty - makes it easier to not grab a coke or something.

Something else I've read is that there are chemicals in some foods that can make you feel down. I don't remember exactly what, but I read that in a magazine a while back.

As for the worrying about the bad things coming...just pray and give all your worries over to God. I promise, if you truly do that, you'll feel like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. He is the one in control over everything, after all. Look up the serenity prayer online. That's a good one to pray on a daily basis.

Hope this helps!

J.,

I have felt exactly the same way you are. It's a dangerous place to be.

I am a health consultant. My role has been to help people be well and yet I struggled to help myself. I became so desperate that I cried out for help too. Accountablity helped me "practice what I preach".

A few basic things that really help me are...

1. Getting enough sunlight everyday (Vitamin D)
2. Getting to bed by 10 or 11 and sleeping in a very dark room for at least 7 hours.
3. Cutting WAY back on sugar and sugar substitutes.
4. Eating enough protein. Don't skip meals! If you're like me, you probably are running around taking care of so much that you often forget to eat.
5. Taking a good whole food vitamin supplement.

And one MAJOR thing that has helped me with libido is balancing my hormones. I use Arbonne's Natural Balancing Cream (Prolief). It makes me feel like a woman again... sex drive and all. I have friends who beat my door down for a bottle of Prolief. They call it their "happy" cream.

HOpe this helps!

Feel free to email me personally if you have any questions.
____@____.com.

I don't know if you are on any birth control, but I know in me that completely kills all of my drive. My husband got "fixed" several months ago so I was able to get off the pill. I feel like myself again! The pill kills everything for me - drive, feeling, ability to climax - all of it!

Your doctor's suggestion of exercise is way off base. He obviously isn't recommending it because you need to loose weight, but to help get your blood pumping harder. This can do a lot for your state of mind and also your drive. It doesn't have to be major exercise. Something as simple as a 20 minute walk around the block can do wonders!

HTH!
S. F

I'm not a professional, but you sound depressed. I unfortunately have alot of experience with depression and one of it's affects is that it's hard to enjoy life, even when everything is good.

Sex should be a good part of life, but depression can eat that up too. How you feel about how you look makes a big difference. Maybe it's just a phase. Or maybe it's not and you need to see a doctor to help you come out of it. Some people take antidepressants to help them get through tough spots like that and then they feel better and go off.

If I were you, I would see if I could knock myself out of it. Go get a massage, a manicure, your haircut, take a bubble bath, do whatever makes you happy and try to recharge your batteries. After you do that. Make a real effort to try to make yourself feel better, if it doesn't work I would go see a doctor. There is no embarrassment in looking for help, a happier woman will make a happier wife and mother. Don't settle for staying like that, it sounds like you have already been there too long.

J., your doctor was right, exercise is the best way to stimulate a low sex drive. Just because you are not overweight, don't discount the many benefits of exercise. However, it sounds like you might be depressed. Depression also responds to exercise. First work on your diet and start some daily walking. Supplement with a great multi vitamin (not from the grocery store) and a good fish oil supplement. If, after 2-3 months on this routine and you find it doesn't help, then you will need to talk to your doctor (or a different one) and tell him/her what you have tried. The problem with a low sex drive is sometimes you don't 'want' to fix it. Then the advances of a spouse become very stressful.
Good luck

It sounds like you are depressed and need to see a different specialist, not ob/gyn. Perhaps seeing your family medical doctor to be referred to a psychiatrist. If you problems are not physical (obgyn said all is okay) then you have a diffent problem. I know how you feel, honestly. It's amazing how a mild anti-depressant can change your outlook on life and the people in you life.

J. I can totally understand where your coming from except mine is the result of surgery that I had to have due to a cyst on my ovary. Sorry if TMI one suggestion that I have is to have your testosterone level checked. I know that sounds crazy but sometimes women's levels can actually be too low and shut down our sex drive. I know where I live you can go to the pharmacy and they actually have kits that you can buy and send in to the lab to have tested to see where your levels are. Don't know if this helped any but there it is.

J., this is nothing to be ashamed of and actually is quite common. You do however need to make an appointment with a medical doctor. I have been taking a low dose antidepressant for about five years now, and it has made a world of difference in my total outlook. Before I started the medication I was depressed, tired all the time, not interested in doing the things I normally enjoyed, sex what was that? Then I went to my regular doctor and he asked me to fill out a few questionaires, and its turns out that I was depressed and I have been on the meds and haven;t looked back. B. H

Sounds to me like you have actually pegged your own problem and it sounds a lot like serious depression. While one of the things "they" tell us moms is have a hobby and take time for yourself. You shoudl make sure you are doing this. However, you might consider asking your doctor for a mild anti-depressant. I tried several but Wellbutrin has worked the best for me and it actually tends to have a positive effect on your sex drive. I'd also suggest trying a therapist who doesn't beleive that treatment should be a lifetime process. Not sure from your post but it sounds like maybe, in spite of how good your husband is, there are some underlying problems there. And if you don't feel good about yourself and your marriage you can't be interested in having sex.

J., you should probably go to a family practice doctor or psychologist. You sound like you may have a little anxiety mixed with depression. You should probably have your blood tested to make sure you don't have any underlying medical conditions, like anemia or low thyroid. Don't fear medications. Read the side effects and pay attention to how they make you feel. At 37 I developed a sleep disorder and probably lost years of energy. I finally got over it and took sleep meds. I don't feel addicted, but definetly need them. I fortunately need them much less than I did before. I also gave in and finally took Prozac for chronic fatigue. I can say it seems to help. I even smile and laugh more. I never felt like I had anxiety or depression,but the medicine that treats those does seem to help. Good luck, JM

Hi J.,

I went through the exact same thing you are going through now... My OB/GYN who is the most wonderful doctor in the world put me on a 2% testosterone solution... and wow can I say that has made all the difference in the world for me and the hubby...

your OB sounds like a dunce... I would check into finding a different one are even seeing a family practitioner... or you could go see my OB/GYN... His name is Dr Darren Goff and he practices out at the Mercy Plaza which is right next to Mercy Hospital ... this man literally saved my life... I was ready to pull the trigger and he brought me out of one of the deepest depressions I have ever been in and he helped my and my husband have the most beautiful little girl there ever was... We had lost all hope of ever having a child and now at 36, we have a 6 month old...

you might also benefit from a mild ant-depressant for a little while... I took Cymbalta and the 2% testosterone and let me tell you, my sex drive has gone through the rooof... poor hubby cant keep up!! lol

seriously though, call Dr Goff... he wont belittle you, talk down to you or anything like that... he will listen to you and then he will do everything in hid power to make sure you get what you need!

Good luck!

H.

Hi J., i've looked thru the responses and they vary quite a bit. I am 49 years old and have raised 2 boys who were amazing athletes, had a full time job and a house and husband to take care of. I know what you're going thru. Bottom line is our lives become so wrapped up in our home, kids and their activities and life in general that we forget that we're more than those things. One person suggested that you do things you liked before you had kids. That may work but you are not the same person that you were before you had kids and neither is your husband, you may not still be interested in those things. it sounds to me like you and your husband need to get to know each other again. if you don't have a date night you should have one. if money's tight, pack a picnic lunch and go to the park or lake or whatever is available where you live. my husband and i are emply nesters now. we've had to try different things to see what we enjoy now. otherwise we will wind up sitting on the couch watching TV for the rest of our lives. we tried ballroom dance classes, golf lessons, fishing at a local lake. For yourself....go get a manicure, pedicure, your hair done...a spa day...an evening out with girlfriends, if you don't have any put yourself in a position to find some....you and your husband getting to know each other again will be great for the two of you as well as your kids. remember why you love him and find a way to learn to like yourself again.....it is fixable....good luck...R.

Find another OB/GYN, preferably a woman who will understand the things you are going through. I work for an OB/GYN and see women with this problem often. They may put you on an antidepressant and/or low dose hormones. Remember depression is an illness just like heart problems, hypertension, diabetes and sometimes needs medication to help. There are things out there that can help, you just need to find a doctor who has expereince and more compassion and understanding for your situation. Good luck.

J.,

What you are feeling is so typical. We as women need to have time to think romantic thoughts about our husbands without all of the worries of the day bearing down on us. It can be very overwhelming.

I'm struggling with the same thing also. I bought a CD series from Zig Ziglar on marriage. I have been listening to it in the car and have been applying some of the instructions. I'm starting with just trying to hug my husband and kiss him on the cheek 3 or more times per day. He also suggests focusing only on the good things that we like about our husbands. You might need to write them down and think hard :-) Keep playing that list in your head and be grateful for where he is good and not ungrateful for ALL of the things that you don't like. It has helped me so far.

I would like to hear from other mom's who have conquered it.

K. B.

I had the same experience. It is a feeling within you.
Since the kids, you have lost direction because of your care for them. Start enjoying some of the things you did
before the kids. We often stop living our lives.I know most of the time is devoted to them.Look inside you and see the beauty in the person whom God made, focus on your worth and happiness. You have allowed your mind set to get in a stage of depression. Take a day out, pray, do some exercises,take a bubble bath,get beautiful, do something enjoyable. Prepare a special occassion for you and your husband and bring life back into your relationship. Thank God for a wonderful husband and kids. Nothing is wrong with your body, it is your way of thinking.

It sounds like to me that you are going through some type of depression right now. I recommend you see a MD that can put you on some type of medication to help regulate your moods and make you feel better. Get on the computer and do some investigating on different types of meds to see what you think might help so when you go to the MD you will be more prepared. I have been taking a low dose of Prozac 10 mg for the past 4 years and it has been wonderful for my moods and feelings. Woman have to deal with so much and our hormones get out of whack so sometimes we need help. Me 38 yr old mother of a 2 yr old red headed little girl.

Here here J.. I'm in the same boat as you. NO DESIRE whatsoever, even before I got pregnant. Anytime I bring it up at the doctor's office, it either is blown off or totally ignored. Can't wait to see what others post. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

Dear J., I have to agree with the doc that advised you to exercise. I work full time, single mom of 6 kids. When I feel sluggish or depressed I exercise and it reallllyy works. It even helps with wanting sex. For me unfortunately, I'm single, but praying for God to bring me a great man. One day of exercise usually isn't enough for you to see results always. It could take a week or two. soft drinks are also bad for your energy level. wayyy to much sugar. Anyway, it's up to you, Best wishes. M. E.

J.,
I don't really have any advice for you...and here is why. I'm going through the same thing. I've been going through this for a very long time. So, you're not alone...and I will definately be reading any advice that anyone sends you, in hopes that it will benefit me as well. Our circumstances are very similar. Good husband, I also work at the school, I have interests...but not in "that". I actually feel sorry for my husband; but at the same time..I can't make my body feel something that it doesn't want to. This is probably crazy, but it seems that my "drive" ended after I had my tubes tied. But maybe that was just a coincidence. At any rate, I could go forever without any intimacy at all...HAPPILY. and that's just not normal. Oh, and i also have bouts with depression and on top of that, I lack motivation. I get bored, but lack the motivation and get-up-and-go to do anything about it. I'm 39 and I feel like I'm 109 sometimes. Anyways, I just wanted you to know that you're not alone...and that there are others who can relate to your situation.

You can have your hormone levels checked. I have a compounding pharmacist that does this and she is great. She has a list of doctors that she works with so could refer you to one of them that would prescribe the right medication. There is a possibility that your testerone level is too low and that can be remedied. Also some people who suffer from depression/ anxiety have low sex drive. All of this is easily remedied with the right medications. I am not talking about you feeling like a zombie. Look in the yellow pages for a compounding pharmacist. Wish you all the best!!
J.

Hi J.,
Did something happen on Dec. 26 to make you feel this way? Have you felt this way before? You said you hate for your great husband to touch you. Hate is a rather strong word. Has he made you feel a certain way. I'm no doctor, but it seems as if maybe you are harboring some feelings toward him and instead of telling him, you are pushing him away. You also said you always feel sad, bored or depressed and even your good days are spent wondering what will go wrong. It sounds a little like depression and a bit of paranoia. Do you work outsdie the home? Does your husband help with the children, chores, housework? What about your family, church family or other emotional support? Maybe you're just feeling overwhelmed, but since you are able to pinpoint the exact date your sex drive died, it seems there's some underlying feelings and issues that need to come out and perhaps once they are addressed, you may find relief in the other areas of your life. And don't ever be embarrassed about seeking help for you sex life, that is a very important part of marriage. Take care.

Please speak to your doctor about these symptoms. It seems that you may be suffering from depression, which can be responsible for all those complaints. If he/she is not receptive or responds with little concern, find a doctor who will listen. If you know someone who works in the medical field, ie RN, nurse practitioner, etc. ask for leads. Check on line with your local American Medical Association. Don't delay. I have experienced depression and know how painful it is, and it causes your whole family to suffer. Don't waste your energy feeling guilty -- it isn't your fault.
Also, if you start on a med that you can't tolerate, don't drop it. Work with your doctor until he finds something that helps you!
I just read the other responses, and while exercise, good diet, etc. are good, this is not a do-it-yourselfer. Depression is indeed a physical illness, often a chemical imbalance, but doing nothing will only allow your condition to worsen. You are the age when peri-menapausal symptoms could be troubling you. At 5'7", 115 lbs., you are very thin.
Your ob/gyn is not a good listener!!

I think you should have a girls night once in a while. You should fix yourself up real nice and go out, without husband or kids. Let atractive men hit on you and flirt a little. It will make you feel good about your self again and the sex will get better. I am also a work at home mom with a 12 year old, and 6 year old. I have been with my husband for 15 years also. Sometimes you just need a break from reality.

Have you looked into anti-depressants? G.

sounds like depression. See your regular doctor or a counselor for help.

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. That is such a desperate place to be (I know this from experience and having worked in mental health) You are describing the symptoms of what modern medicine calls depression. But what I will say that modern medicine won't is that you don't have to think of it as a disorder that needs to be "fixed." Many will tell you to get meds for depression but I suggest you try some other things first. First pay attention to what you eat and the amount of expercise you get. Make sure you are not eating too many processed foods and consider allergies (for example wheat allergy can manifest with the same symptoms as depression.) Also, even if you are not overweight you still need to be getting a mederate amount of exercise each week. It doesn't have to be the stair stepper you can do something fun like Salsa classes or yoga classes or even belly dancing (belly dancing is something I have fun doing and it puts me in touch with that sensual feminine energy within me and is great exercise.) These types of exercise will help physically and emotionally. We cannot underestimate the power of the link between mind and body. See if there is a massage therapist or acupuncturist near you. If you are low on funds there are often massage schools that offer massages at half the going rate and you will find it is well worth the money. Do something kind for yourself each day. Even if it is just a little indulgence like a bath or taking a few mintues to read a book or whatever used to be fun and relaxing for you. You need some alone time to just do something you want to do. It is as important as making sure your kids get to school or brush their teeth so schedule it in if you have to but do it. Keep an eye out for where this might be coming from. Is it depression? Are there some emotional issues you are needing to deal with? Are you just needing more stimulation than you are getting being a stay at home mom? Is it a food allergy or a sleep disorder that needs to be dealt with? If you can find the root you can more specifically deal with it. In the mean time all the things I suggested will help with most causes of these symptoms whether it is depression or some physical issue. The most important thing is to be kind to yourself right now. Do what you can and let go of the rest (don't beat yourself up for what you can't get to right now.) A balance is what you are aiming towards. You need to make sure you are getting up and doing things (even if you don't feel like it) but don't push yourself too hard either. You need plenty of support in trying to manage these feelings so try to utilize the people around you that love you-friends and family-as much as possible. Try to discuss what is happening with your husband and let him know you are stuggling, that you are trying to find a solution and to be patient with you. You may also want to try to start the process of seeing a therapist because it can take some time to get in to see one. You can find good therapists in your area at imago.com (this is web site for therapists that are trained in imago therapy which was traditionally for couples so it would be good for you and hubby but they are also great individual therapists) They typically take a more wholistic approach so they won't say "oh you have the dreaded depression and are doomed to take medicine the rest of your life" They will help you deal with the symptoms that are most pressing for you without making it a mental health crisis and only if absolutely needed will they go the medicine route. If it gets worse, see your family doctor immediately. Also, personally I have found that I feel better when I focus on spiritual things. I have learned I must put as much effort into my spiritual wellbeing as I would my health or mental wellbeing. So perhaps it would benefit you to explore that area as well. Just know this is totally manageable and it will get better with some conciousness on your part and perhaps some treatment if needed. Don't feel embarassed to talk about this. So many stay at home and working moms feel this way. You are not alone in this so keep reaching out. I will be praying for you.

I had the exact same problem! I went to my OBGYN and he prescribed testosterone cream...Even though my blood level showed that it was fine. I have been on the cream (2% testosterone cream) for 2 weeks, and oh my! My sex drive is up, and I actually enjoy it again! You should talk to your doctor...EVEN if she/he does lab and tells you that your levels are fine...You tell them that you would like to "try" some of this cream...It may change your life!
K. S.

I would see my family Dr and ask that he does some test you could have a chemical inbalance that would be easy fix with meds. Also how is your engery laval, do you feel sleep all the time. I know last year when I was told I had diabetes that runs in my family I had a problem with depresstion , I was told this was not odd. I would also have my hormans level checked.

J.,i have the same problem , which is do to a lot of health problems & a lot of meds. that i am on, I dont know if your on any meds. but that can also coz it, W.

You might want to talk to someone about depression as this is a sign of depression. I have had the same symptoms and after I started taking an antidepression medicine this cleared up. Good Luck

do you work? do you have time to volunteer like say at a food bank or clothes mission? helping others can help distract you from yourself. it also reminds you how blessed you are to be able to help and not have to receive. i have read that mild to medium level exercise right before bed is good for sex, never tried it, by that of night i'm completely wiped out. time away together to rediscover each other ,might be a good idea too. some place with no pressure, just relaxing fun and together, holding hands and talking. might help to remind you why you chose him. good luck.
sk,
russellville, ar

This is just a suggestion but maybe you're suffering from SAD (seasonal affective disorder). I get this way the last 6 weeks of winter, and often longer if the kids and I have been inside too much.

J.,
I have gone through this myself. my husband and I have three kids.
I am no Dr but it sounds to me like you have some vitamin deficinecies(sp?) Try taking some EPA and DHA and increase your zinc intake. Strawberries are good sources a good mulitvitamin couldnt hurt either. I hope this helps!!

Have you ever been diagnosed with depression. You seem to have a lot of the side effects..no sex drive, don't really care, not looking forward to what is around the corner for you because it may be bad, feeling sad, bored...etc.
After I had my one and only daughter a couple of years went by and I started to have the same symptoms as you are suggesting...I ended up divorced and moved to another state. I realize now it was for the best because I was not happy at all, but I knew I was depressed. Instead of prescription pills though, I chose vitamins and exercise..I threw myself into it and I am now a very happy and adjusted women. I certainly don't have much advice to give since my experience is very different from yours..I just thought I would share my story..or part of it so you know you are not alone..we as women deal with so much in our lives and I wish you only the best of luck. :)

I see you have a lot of people describing your syptoms as possible depression, well it could be and it is hard to except. You don't want to think of yourself as being "crazy" however it could be just a lot of anxiety which could lead to depression. I'm not sure if you have the opportui=nity to go out at treat yourself, but I think you need to find some time to do that. Go get a massage or a spa treatment. I too have a low sex drive lately... it kind have reversed for my husband and I in the last year or so. I would try some of the other suggestions these thoughtful women have given you. I read in a parenting mag that about 20-30 min of exercise before you go to bed can help with the sex drive.. you just don't feel as tired and your blood is pumping harder. YOu can also try to eat foods like sea food or strawberries, stuff with that natural stuff (I forget what it's called) lol. Your ob is not wrong about the exercise, but he is wrong for not listening and considering all your concerns. Being a doctor and knowing that anxiety and depression is very common in women he should be able to give you enough advice to make you walk out of there feeling good about the different options you can try. God bless you and yours ciao

Sounds like you may be depressed. If you don't want to go to the Dr again try taking St John's Wort. It takes several weeks to build up enough to make you feel better but if it's a mild case of depression this should help. If not you probably need to see a Dr. Also B6/B12 shots have done wonders for my energy and libido level,

I had the same problem last year. I went to a naturopathic doctor and got some info on remineralizing my body. I started taking vitamins(non synthetic) and drinking nettles tea(it contains minerals). I also reduced my stress level at home with the flylady system for home management. www.flylady.com
One really big thing that helped also was a supplement called seacure. It helped within a week with libido. We have to take care of our bodies or they won't take care of us.
God Bless- R. S

Obviously, you have no sex drive because of the state of depression that you are at. I have spent alot of my life going through bouts of depression, and it seemed so hopeless. I knew that exercise would help because it raises the endorphins in your brain. But, it is so hard to exercise when you chasing kids all day.
I have to tell you, the only thing that ever made any difference was starting a real relationship with God. I thought that I had one all along. But once I began to dig deeper I found a something I hadn't experienced before. God healed me, on a deep level from all of those hurts that no one knew about. I had tried antidepressents, even studied psychology. And found that none of those things had worked. It is when I let God come in and work in my life that I began to feel restoration in my body, mind, and soul. He was always waiting for me to ask for his help. Sure enough, when I did he was there.

my suggestion is to go to another doctor it sounds like you have a case of depression and it's nothing to mess with i am on medicine all year long for it i only stopped taking it long enough to have my child six years ago... he is a blessing... but i tried to do it all without the medicine and i was moody hated to be touched i wanted everyone and everything to be my way all the time... and i about hurt myself... depression is a dangerous thing... and even if you aren't depressed i think you would rather be safe than sorry... depression is not a weakness it is a chemical imbalance u can not control... i didn't want to have sex either and i was pushing my significant other away... now we have a healthy sex life and a beautiful son

most (95%) of Americans are low in magnesium which can cause a lot of health issues and problems. Low sex drive and depression are some of the side effects. Try and eat foods high in Mag and take supplements. Another form is when you do get those bubble baths add some epsom salts to the water. It has Mag in it and will also help you to relax. Putting epsom salts in the kids evening bath water will also help get them to bed a little easier and earlier so that you have more time to relax in the tub!

And if by chance any men are on here lurking around if you really want to seduce us try cleaning the house with out us asking! Keep a straight face while changing a nasty diaper, fix supper and do the dishes and start our bath water for us so that we can soak while you are doing all of this!

hope this helps!

Hey, J., I had a hysterectomy and i ahve had the same problem, since then, my doctor told me I was depressed. If that is true with you, try doing things that cheer you up.

It sounds like you need to switch to a female dr. She would be able to better understand what you are going through and their is a medication out there for whatever it is. A lot of women go through this, so I wouldn't beat yourself up over it. You may just have a low testorone (sp) or depression issues. My Dr. (Dr. Susan Chambers) is wonderful and I would highly recommend any of the women drs at Women's Lakeside Hospital. Good luck!

J.,
You might try this all natural cream. It is called Progesterone. You can apply it once or twice daily. It really helped me to level out my hormones. Good Luck!
R. G

You didn't say how old you are,but since you have a 13 yr old I will guess you areover 25.You should see your family dr. He will have other ideas for you.You sound likeyou are having some depression.It causes a large varietyof symptoms most of which you have described.I have had my own problems with this and it is not always the horrible process some would let you think.The key is knowing what it is and doing something about it.Try to be possitive and see your DR I am sure he can help. Good luck L.

Well J., I seems like to me that you need to get your life back. What I mean by that is that you have made your children and your husband your world that you have forgot all about YOU! So go do the things you use to do before you got married like... shopping, going out with the girls, volunteering, reading, etc. In order for you to be happy again, YOU have to make time for SELF. Have balance between being a mom and a wife. Have you ever heard of Joel Olsteen, he has a book called (How to be a Better You i think that's right)you should get this book. Godd Luck!

doesnt' sound like your problem has anything to do with sex drive and a lot to do with depression. Check the symptoms out on the web.........lol!!

It sounds like you may be going through some type of depression. Perhaps something in your life has changed or you may be overwhelmed with all you have to do day to day. Either way I would suggest you seek help from a professional that can properly evaluate you. Sometimes life gets so busy that we don't even realize we're tired and maybe your body is telling you to slow down.