Loud Child

Updated on April 27, 2011
J.J. asks from Pittsburgh, PA
11 answers

How do you get your kid to lower their volume & not be so obnoxious. Telling them at the volume you want them to use & telling them to use their inside voice doesn't work.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Is his hearing ok? MIne had two volumes at 2 unitl maybe 6, loud and off. He also had numerous ear infections which has caused some hearing definciency. So we are still dealing with volume and he is 10.

Keep reminding him.
Talk softly
keep the tv and radio volumes down.
Do not respond when he is loud instead say "it was too loud for me to hear that correctly, please repeat what you said in a softer voice".

5 moms found this helpful

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R.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My boys inherited the loud talking from thier father and in laws, I have gotten to the point where I tell them if they are going to yell I am not going to listen. If they are talking really loud I just dont answer them until they bring the volume down.

3 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

Sigh if you find an answer let me know. I am currently working on this myself. She gets loud, I whisper "Use your inside voice." She whispers back "Boice" the shouts, DOGGIE RUN! Gah.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

Bahahaha! I have a 4yo who is the loudest kid ever! I think he is just trained to speak louder so he can be heard in our loud family - LOL.
I have found with my loud talker that by looking him right in the eye when he is speaking to me at the store, church, inside quite place, he is more likely to follow my cue when I say, "I can hear you, please lower your voice." We have also been learning to "tell secrets" or whisper in one another's ears.
Finally, I make sure he has a lot of outside yelling time;)
Mostly I think loud/obnoxious voices come from our kids when they want attention and by golly, I will give it, but also use the moment as a teaching time and not reinforce the negative behavior.
Hope tsome of this helps you out a bit:)

2 moms found this helpful
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T.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

Sorry i dont have any advice, but i have a very loud talking son ( almost 4)also!! It does not matter if we are in a loud or quiet place he feels he has to yell to talk. We are constantly telling him to use is indoor quiet voice and to whisper. I whisper at night while putting him to bed to try and get him to do the same. My one year old is also a loud child. He gets even louder when he is excited about something. Im hoping once he starts pre-school maybe he will learn to talk a bit more quiet. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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A.P.

answers from Gainesville on

lol My middle daughter is L O U D & that's all there is to it. She has to be heard over her sisters, i'm sure that is how this started. that & she's a talker anyway, has to talk about everything - from what is happening in the movie you are watching to what she did in school. I gently remind her to be quieter and being in school has helped a lot, her teacher also tells her to talk softly. The only time we have a lot of trouble is when visiting my mom, when the kids play in the pool my step father always gets mad at her for being too loud. =( they live in very close proximity to the neighbor in south florida. So I always make sure to talk with her about her volume before we go and i try and gently remind her when she starts getting loud...It is not done intentionally she "forgets" she is loud and just needs reminding - she is 10.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son is this way. He is six, and sometimes he can get really loud as part of his play. He is capable of lowering his voice, so I always tell him once or twice to lower his voice; if he doesn't listen I send him to his room for a time-out (usually five minutes). After doing that for a while, he gets the message that he cannot yell and scream like a crazy person while inside. I don't know how old your child is, but it could be something for you to try. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.H.

answers from Seattle on

Of course, hearing checks should come first. After that, it depends a lot on the kid's age.

Little kids seem to like the sound of their own voices. It is a development thing. As they reach late 3 to 4 years, it sometimes helps to mirror back to them what they are doing in a playful way..I repeat playful. If you can get them to complain that you are talking too loud, then they are ready to understand when they are talking too loud. Again playfully, whenever their volumes are too high, take them by the arm, escort them outside and talk loudly with them. When you go back inside, whisper...s-s-s-h and talk at a normal volumn. At some point, they should become receptive to requests to speak softly...unless overstimulated by other sounds or children.

Another strategy is to set specific times aside as "quiet time." Everyone can do something fun, but quitely and individually, like drawing or coloring or reading a book. Quiet time should be fairly short for younger children, longer for older ones.

On the other hand, if you are talking about older children or adolescents, good luck. One on one, they are likely to be responsive to adult needs for quiet. In a group, less so. Their problem is often a combination of hormones, social posturing, and lots of energy. Try giving them something very physical to do - run, ski, bike ride, skate board.

Actually, the same goes for little kids. They need lots of time to burn off energy. Trikes and scooters, playing catch, and best of all swimming - all of these can help.

Hope this helps. No 100% fixes. If all else fails,

1 mom found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

I use the volume of voice that I want my children to use. People in general tend to mirror each other in conversations, so when I need to get the kids attention I try to get it visually and speak conversationally.

However, my husband pretty much shouts when he speaks, coming from an Italian family that speaks loudly all the freaking time. It can seem like a losing battle sometimes.

Plus they just like to play loudly sometimes, but usually it's outside. They're too loud indoors if they get cabin fever and/or start running in the house when they shouldn't. They also tend to yell when they're arguing.

Lastly, the only one of my children without real volume control is my middle daughter. For all of her disordered sensory processing, and how sensitive she is to noises around her, she can't hear her own volume. It takes a very concerted effort to get her to lower her volume when she's too loud.

Luckily it's not too bad, but with my fibromyalgia my ears tend to be very sensitive to certain sounds at certain volumes. Voices is one of the ones that makes my ears hurt and eyes water if they don't keep a handle on it, Soft foam ear plugs are awesome.

1 mom found this helpful

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

I just went through this with my 3 year old. He knows when and where he can be loud because we always enforced the command when it was important, as in one clear warning such as: This is the library. You talk quietly in the library. This is your only warning." Then, if he started to run and scream in the library (what kid wouldn't at least once?) Off we immediately went to the restroom for a good stinging pop on the butt. Since this is consistent with how we handle situations where he will always need to behave a certain way, church, grocery store, people's homes, our home if someone is napping, etc. it only took once, because he was familiar with the drill since age 18 months or so. Now I can take him anywhere and he's always good at the library. He's really good about being quiet when he's supposed to be, and I'm really loose about letting him run and be loud a lot at other times (more than my husband cares for :) because he's a boy with lots of steam and in winter we don't go outside every day, etc. Sometimes he's allowed to run and scream like a banshee in the house. Sometimes the 3 kids are allowed to yell the whole time I'm driving somewhere. But if I say stop, they stop.

Anyway, I've been trying to do yoga every day when my baby naps with yoga sessions from 30 minutes to 90 minutes long. I know it's a lot to expect a five year old and 3 year old to be quiet that long, (if they wake the baby, the session is over) but it is possible. So I make sure they're well fed and have had some time to yell and be loud already before I begin. I set a side a specific area where they can play and a couple of fun activities there so I wasn't just expecting them to sit still and quietly and stare into space or something. The first class I did, he started "trying to do it with me" but would fall, flop down on purpose, start running around, and eventually start being loud in general. All the while I was shooshing him and telling him to be quiet, not distract me, and not wake the baby blah bah blah. Which I know he understands. 3 sessions/days into it, OF COURSE he was still doing it, because he had learned that mom does not ENFORCE when she is doing yoga, she just shooshes.

I did not want to break my zen mood and pause the DVD and interrupt the peaceful yoga music to sting a butt, but basically, if I wanted to continue to do the yoga, it's the only time of day I can, it's been helping a lot with my energy level in general etc. So in order to "teach" that this was also a "no loudness zone" I gave him one more last clear warning that this was like the library, etc, he was to be quiet and play X for X amount of time and not wake the baby and if I had to tell him one more time he would have a consequence." Of course he didn't believe me (my fault for lots of false threats) so he got a firm swat the next time. Now he's super good during yoga, and we all go do something fun together after.

You have to enforce. I never knew a naturally loud child to be "quiet" because someone told them to be. You have to get very specific about where and when you need him to be quiet, not just constantly tell him to be quiet everywhere. Then use your firmest most effective discipline to enforce after one calm specific warning. This is to deter future episodes. If you do something more lenient, you will continue to have to manage and discipline it all the time. You want him avoiding discipline, not cooperating with it.

1 mom found this helpful

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi, J.J.:
Have you asked your child for the reason that he talks so loud and
(What is the obnoxious behavior, be specific when you ask him)?

Just want to know.
D.

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